24 Sunday Jan 2016
Posted in Name Data
≈ Comments Off on Most Common Baby Names From Birth Notices in the Sydney Morning Herald and The Age (Melbourne) in 2015
GIRLS FIRST NAMES
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BOYS FIRST NAMES
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Rare First Names
Girls: Birdie, Coco, Corymbia, Georgiana, Odette, and Vera
Boys: Ambrose, Augustus, Cormac, Elio, Franco, Roger, Vaughn, and Zephyr
GIRLS MIDDLE NAMES
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BOYS MIDDLE NAMES
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Rare Middle Names
Girls: Chee-Xin, d’Oliveyra, Farley, Iona, Kouiji, Ostrup, Roisin, Sabine, Sun, and Western
Boys: Arkell, Bold, Browning, Elroy, Flower, Joachim, Kendall, McHugh, Ming, Redmond, Revett, Thornton, Weng, Zahri, and Zimo.
24 Sunday Jan 2016
Posted in Celebrity Baby Names, Name Data
≈ Comments Off on Most Common Australian Celebrity Baby Names of 2015
GIRLS FIRST NAMES
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BOYS FIRST NAMES
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Unusual Celebrity Baby Names
Girls: Avalon, Bo, Egypt, Essena, Giselle, Harvie, Imaan, Ripley, Scout, Sia, Sunday, and Zylah
Boys: Barclay, Blayden, Iliesa, Jerry, Leezak, Makua, Marlon, McLean, Montgomery, Otto, Percy, Rafi, Rocket, Solal, and Zion
GIRLS MIDDLE NAMES
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BOYS MIDDLE NAMES
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Unusual Celebrity Middle Names
Girls: Adenil, Blue, Merivale, and Napier
Boys: Arrow, Fileborn, Hawthorn, Winiata, and Zot
17 Sunday Jan 2016
Posted in Names in the News
Tags
Baby Name Explorer, classic names, middle names, name data, name popularity, Nancy's Baby Names, popular names, retro names, Sydney Morning Herald
A wave of articles on “endangered” names has been flooding my inbox since last year, and eventually some poor sap from the Sydney Morning Herald with minimal interest in names got roped into providing some scary statistics for New South Wales, so now I have to cover it too.
(I know they’re not interested in names because they think Jessica is a Hebrew name meaning “rich” – it isn’t Hebrew, and doesn’t mean anything of the sort).
By accessing the Baby Name Explorer database of names in NSW from 1900 to 2011, they found that the names that were fast disappearing were John, Robert, Peter, and David for boys, and Mary, Margaret, Susan, and Karen for girls.
In the world of manufactured name problems, this is surely one of the daftest. Here is why the sudden concern over endangered names is nonsensical.
The Statistics are Wrong
John and David are still in the Top 100, which they have never left after more than a century, and the Baby Name Explorer actually shows them increasing in usage in 2011. This is surely the exact OPPOSITE of disappearing or endangered.
Mary, Peter and Robert were only just outside the Top 100 in 2011 (Mary was #101), and the graph shows that both Mary and Robert had increased usage in 2011, while Peter’s position had remained extremely stable for some time.
Margaret increased in usage in 2011, and even Karen had an uptick which brought into back onto the charts that year. Susan was the only name on the list which had actually dropped off the charts by 2011.
How did they get it so wrong? By selecting names that had been #1 for a particular decade, so that their drop in popularity would look alarmingly steep, and then completely ignoring the names’ ranking and usage.
Mary was #1 in 1900 and had dropped to #101 in 2011 – in other words it only went down 100 places in 111 years! That’s very stable: the kind of stability that made Mary the overall #1 girl’s name of the twentieth century.
The “resurrected” names were equally silly, with William, Jack, Ruby, and Grace cited as names which had made brave comebacks against the odds. William has never been out of the Top 50, so it can hardly be said to have ever gone away, while Jack and Grace are classics which have never been lower than #400. Retro Ruby is the only name which has ever been off the charts and returned.
Why couldn’t the article identify any names which actually were still in use yet fast disappearing? Because the Baby Name Explorer only covers the 1200 most popular names of the century, so that any name still on the charts by 2011 was getting reasonable, and often increasing, usage. You can’t make useful statistics out of insufficient data.
The Data Doesn’t Include Middle Names
Margaret may only be around the 400s as a first name, but it’s a fairly common middle name for girls – probably in the Top 100 of middle names. Dorothy may not chart any more, but it’s not unusual in the middle. It doesn’t really matter whether a name is in the first or middle position: if it’s in use either way, you can hardly claim it as disappearing or long gone.
It’s Misleading to Apply Scientific Terms to Names
Terms like endangered or extinct, taken from environmental science, don’t make any sense when applied to names.
If a plant or animal is endangered, it is very difficult to ensure its survival, and will require specialised breeding programs or seed collecting initiatives, all of which depend on funding. Losing some species may have dire consequences for the planet; for example, we need bees and beetles to pollinate our crops and plants. Worst of all, once they are all gone, we cannot bring them back – no matter how much we long for the dodo, it is done for, and nothing will return it to us.
If a name isn’t used much any more, no great calamity will result. Brangien and Althalos have been rarely used since the Middle Ages, but nobody has suffered as a result of Brangien deficiency, and no awful disaster has ensued from the loss of Althalos.
Furthermore, if we decided we’d like to see more of a particular name which has gone out of use, it costs no money or effort to bring it back. You simply slap the name onto your child’s birth certificate, and hey presto – you’ve got yourself a rare and beautiful specimen of an Althalos.
As long as we still know of a name’s existence from books and records, it is a potential baby name, no matter how many centuries or even millennia since it was last used. (Thank you Nancy from Nancy’s Baby Names for pointing out this absurdity).
I hope you can all sleep more soundly now, knowing that herds of Johns and Davids wander at will, the Mary and the Peter are gambolling freely, and numbers of Margarets and Roberts are secure for the foreseeable future. We even have high hopes for the diminished Susan, which may yet return to a sustainable population as 1950s names prepare to come back into fashion.
I do wonder what effect these kinds of articles have on people though. Does it make them more likely to “save” the “endangered” names, knowing that not as many people are using them now, or does it put people off the names even more, in the belief that they would be choosing a baby name heading for the scrapheap?
POLL RESULTS
74% of people said being told a name was in danger of disappearing didn’t make any difference as to whether they would use it or not. 21% said they would be more likely to use the name, knowing it was a normal name that was currently underused. 5% would be less likely to use the name, knowing it had gone out of fashion and may be disliked by others.
39% of people thought we should save the name Susan, while 61% believed we shouldn’t bother.
12 Tuesday Jan 2016
Posted in Name Updates
Emma and Dane were expecting a baby boy, and were having their baby name discussions sidetracked by the middle name issue. Emma wanted the name Michael, to honour Dane’s beloved grandfather, while Dane thought it would be easier not to have any middle name at all.
Blog readers (and the blog author herself) were not on board with the no-middle-name plan, and gave it a decisive thumbs down. However, there were many suggestions as how grandfather could be honoured without using the name Michael.
When Emma and Dane’s son arrived, they gave him the name
SPENCER MOSES.
Spencer was Dane’s first choice for his son’s name, while Moses was grandpa Michael’s Hebrew name. They found a way to honour grandfather’s memory without using the name Michael, and Emma would like to thank us for our help and advice.
Congratulations to Emma and Dane on the birth of Spencer Moses, who has a handsome and meaningful middle name which connects him to his great-grandfather and his heritage! Remember that there are many ways to solve a middle name dilemma, but neglecting to choose a middle name altogether is not a desirable option.
(Photo shows Charlton Heston as Moses in The Ten Commandments).
19 Saturday Dec 2015
Posted in Naming Assistance
Tags
choosing baby names, honouring, middle names, sibsets, surname names, UK name trends, vintage names
Cassandra and Jason are expecting a baby brother for their daughter Daisy. When they first discovered Cassie was pregnant, they quickly settled on a name for a girl, but had nothing for boys. At their 20 week scan they discovered it was a boy this time, and they had no names chosen at all.
Cassie and Jason like the names Alfie and Lewis, but wonder if there is a boy’s name they can truly love, not just like. They would like a name that is old-fashioned but cool, and like surname names such as Harvey, and names that can be shortened to a nickname.
They would like something that isn’t too common (no Henry or Hugo or Charlie), but not too wacky either (Banjo has already been vetoed by Jason for this reason).
Cassie and Jason have a surname similar to Bloomer, and don’t want something with an OO sound in it, like Jude or Rupert, or something ending in an -er, like Sawyer. If it was not for this, Jude, Rupert, and Sawyer would all be considered as possibilities.
The middle name will either be Banks or Jack, both family names.
Cassie is looking for suggestions of boys’ names they might love with Daisy
* * * * * * * * * *
I like both Alfie and Harvey, and think they both sound great with your surname, and as a match with Daisy. Unfortunately Lewis breaks your rule against an OO sound
When you said you would love a name that was vintage and cool, and taking into account your name preferences, it struck me that you might like a boy’s name with a British vibe to it. Daisy is a popular name in England, so it seems as if a boy’s name that is doing well there too might be a nice match.
These are some vintage-style boys’ names that are all rising in England – some of them very steeply. That seemed to seal them as “cool”.
Albert (Alby, Bert, Bertie)
Alfred (Alfie, Freddie, Fred) – Alfred Banks is very dignified
August (Augie, Gus) – Daisy and Gus is very cute
Barnaby (Barney)
Frederick (Freddie, Fred) – I like this especially with your surname
Theodore (Theo, Ted, Teddy) – Daisy and Ted is adorable
Wilfred (Wilf, Will, Fred, Freddie)
You also said you liked the idea of a surname names. It’s harder to find vintage-style surnames like Harvey – Maxwell comes to mind, but shortens to Max which you might think is too common. However, these surname names are all rising in the UK, and some of them shorten to nicknames pretty easily.
Franklin (Frank)
Griffin (Griff, Finn) – I like this a lot with your surname
Marshall (Marsh)
Rafferty (Raff, Raffy) – I love Rafferty Jack!
Sullivan (Sully, Van)
Otis – I think Daisy and Otis sound really classy together
Wyatt
Out of these, my favourites would be
Albert Jack Bloomer (Daisy and Alby)
Alfred Banks Bloomer (Daisy and Alfie)
August Jack Bloomer (Daisy and Gus)
Frederick Jack Bloomer or Frederick Banks Bloomer (Daisy and Freddie)
Theodore Jack Bloomer or Theodore Banks Bloomer (Daisy and Ted or Daisy and Teddy)
Griffin Jack Bloomer or Griffin Banks Bloomer (Daisy and Griffin or Daisy and Griff)
Rafferty Jack Bloomer (Daisy and Rafferty, Daisy and Raffy)
Otis Jack Bloomer or Otis Banks Bloomer (Daisy and Otis)
I wonder if any of these might appeal to you? They seem like the kind of names that aren’t very common, but still familiar enough to fit in, and perhaps even gain admiration, in your circle.
UPDATE: The baby’s name is Lewis!
POLL RESULTS: The public’s top choices for the baby’s name were Theodore (27%) and Otis (26%).
12 Saturday Dec 2015
Posted in Naming Assistance
Tags
choosing baby names, fictional namesakes, honouring, middle names, name combinations, name meaning, name teasing, names from television, nicknames, saints names, surname names
Do you remember Catherine? She wrote in about six weeks ago for opinions on Lucia, a name on her current list, and must have found it helpful enough to give us another shot.
Catherine and her husband Daniel are expecting their first baby next year. Catherine is a dyed-in-the-wool name nerd, and has always loved making name lists, but is finding doing it for a real baby a much more difficult task! There are so many things to consider, and even her favourite names seem fraught with potential problems.
This is her name list, complete with all the possible issues. Catherine and Daniel have an unusual and rather aristocratic sounding surname that’s vaguely similar to Barntread.
GIRLS
Margaret (nn Mattie, Maggie, Meta, or Greta)
A name from the family tree that seems to hit the sweet spot. It’s got plenty of nickname options, and it’s familiar but not common. Catherine has been very taken with the idea of a daughter named Mattie since reading Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell, which has a character named Miss Matty (short for Matilda). As Matilda can’t be used by Catherine, Margaret seems like a possible formal name for Mattie instead. However, is it strange to have a daughter named Mattie when there is a close family member named Matthew (never Matt or Matty)? Catherine thinks it is a nice shared link, but wonders if other people will just think it’s strange. Catherine loves the idea of calling her daughter Magpie as a pet name – is that weird? Catherine is concerned her family will think Margaret is old-fashioned and frumpy, although she can see it fitting in quite well with her husband’s family.
Lucia (pronounced LOO-sha)
Loves the name Lucia, and loves the meaning (“light”), but has ongoing concerns in regard to pronunciation. Would be okay with others shortening it to Lucy, although wouldn’t do so herself. Strongly dislikes Lucinda and Luciana as alternatives.
Henrietta (nn Hattie, Etta, Harry, or Harry-O)
A name that Daniel suggested. Catherine doesn’t it love yet as much as Margaret, but it is growing on her, and it could be a compromise choice if they decide not to go with Margaret. Her favourite thing about it is that it is a name from the family tree, and she likes the nickname Hattie.
Genevieve (possibly nn Evie)
A name Catherine has always loved, but it seems frillier than their other choices. Would consider Evie as a nickname, but it is very popular.
Martha
Another way to get Mattie as a nickname.
Mary (possibly as a nickname for Margaret)
A pretty, underused classic name from the family tree. Catherine loves it, but something makes her hesitate. Perhaps it is because she has trouble reconciling the nerdy Mary from Pride and Prejudice with the glamorous Lady Mary from Downton Abbey. She also worries about “Virgin Mary” as a tease name.
Georgiana
A name Catherine has always loved, and it reminds her of the pioneer Georgiana McCrae, and Miss Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. She dislikes the idea of people using Georgie as a nickname, and would consider George, even though that seems quite masculine. She thinks Georgiana might work better as a middle name, if the first name was a family name.
Her clear front runners so far are Margaret, Henrietta, Mary, and Lucia. Daniel hasn’t indicated any preference as yet, but Catherine isn’t worried by this as there is still plenty of time for him to decide.
BOYS
Benedict (nn Ben)
Catherine and Daniel love the nickname Ben, but would like something more substantial on his birth certificate, and aren’t so keen on Benjamin. Catherine has some concerns about “bendy dick” as a tease name, and isn’t sold on the alliteration of Benedict Barntread. An attraction is that Saint Benedict is the patron of beer, and Daniel is a professional brewer, so it seems very fitting.
Thomas
A long time love, but is highly popular. The association with Thomas the Tank Engine (a favourite of the children in the family) makes her hesitate.
Edward
A family name, with Ted used as the nickname before, but not Ned, as far as Catherine knows. The only thing putting her off is the association with Twilight, although she likes the connection with Edward from Sense and Sensibility. Also, does it sound weird with their surname – is ED-ward Barn-TREAD one too many Ed sounds?
Fionn
Luke
A name she has just started to love, and reminds her a bit of Lucia. However, she can’t have a Luke and Lucia, so she’s aware that choosing one will automatically cancel the other. Unlike Lucia, there are no spelling or pronunciation issues with familiar Luke, but there are so many babies called Lucas now ….
John (possibly nicknamed Johnno or Johnny)
A new name on the list, which Daniel and Catherine both thought of independently, which seems like a good sign. It’s a family name, and is very familiar without being highly popular. However, they know tons of Johns, and don’t want them thinking the baby is named after them!
Arthur
A name that appeals as something nice and different. Catherine is concerned that the name is too “soft”, while Daniel thinks it is the opposite!
Catherine is finding it harder to connect with boys’ names. She wants something traditional, but not too common, which seems to put names like Thomas, Fionn, and Henry in doubt. She wants something strong, solid, and manly – nothing too “nerdy” sounding (which makes her most nervous about Margaret and Mary).
MIDDLES
Amelia
Jessie
Melva
Melba (tribute to Melbourne)
Henrietta
Jennifer (honouring family member)
Dianne
Louise
Winifred
Victoria (tribute to home state)
Olaf
Holmquest (family surname)
Daniel
Matthew
Christopher
Alastair
Alexander
James (honouring family member)
Patrick
Felix (tribute to home state)
POSSIBLE COMBINATIONS
Henrietta Louise
Henrietta Rose
Lucia Margaret
Margaret Felix (likes this as something fresh and modern, but worried people will think it is strange)
Margaret Jessie (is Mattie Jessie too much?)
Margaret Louise
Margaret Melva
Margaret Rose
Margaret Victoria
Mary Georgiana
Mary Victoria
Benedict Matthew James
John Patrick
Luke Alexander
Thomas Holmquest
Jessie would be in tribute to a relative who has passed away, but she hated her name Jessie, saying it was a cow name. Problem?
Holmquest would be in tribute to a family maiden surname, although Catherine has discovered that there was someone on the family tree actually called Tom Holmquest. An issue?
NAMES CROSSED OFF FOR VARIOUS REASONS
Girls: Beatrix, Bonnie, Claire, Daisy, Elizabeth, Emma, Helen, Ivy, Julia, Katharine, Matilda, Rosie, Violet
Boys: Charlie, Cody, Douglas, Hamish, Hugo, Lachlan, Max, Nicholas, Noah, Oscar, Victor (so vexed an issue it even makes Victoria a bit difficult to use), William
Catherine and Daniel’s families and friends have very wisely refused to make suggestions or take part in any name debates, saying that they are looking forward to the name being a lovely surprise.
Even though this gives them a big gold Baby Name Etiquette Star, Catherine is frustrated at not being able to bounce all her ideas and concerns off everyone she knows. She would be extremely grateful to hear what other people think.
* * * * * * * * * *
Catherine, I do sympathise with your realisation that there can be such a difference between planning a list of names for a completely imaginary maybe-one-day baby, and an utterly real due-in-a-few-months one.
What I took away from your name list is that you are very sensitive to names and words, and form an intense emotional response to them. Then the intellectual side of your brain chimes in and picks them completely to pieces. Of course it’s necessary to think logically about the names you love, but you are second-guessing yourself to the nth degree.
I think you are worrying far too much about what people might think of your choices. I wonder where this comes from, because it seems as if your friends and family, far from being harsh critics, have been studiously hands-off.
I would say that at least 99% of things you are worried about other people thinking goes under the heading of None of Their Business. If people think it’s strange to have a Mattie and a Matthew in the same family – who cares? If they think it’s weird to call your daughter the sweet little pet name of Magpie – to heck with them!
I’m sure your family chose their own children’s names because they liked them, and not to please you, so why should you worry if your child’s name isn’t completely to their taste? It doesn’t sound as if you are surrounded by mean, judgmental people, so even if they don’t love the name Margaret as much as you do, most likely they will be fine with it and say all the right things.
As for the teasing worries, I don’t dispute that some names are sure fire tease-targets. If you name your child Firkhead or Boobialla, at some point they are likely to get some unwanted comments. But you can’t avoid completely normal names like Mary and John just on the off chance that someone might come up with a silly tease for them.
For what it’s worth, all the names you are considering seem perfectly lovely, and suit your preference for something solid, traditional, familiar, yet not highly popular. There isn’t one name that I would say needs to be crossed off the list, or has too many problems.
What comes through very strongly is your preference for Margaret. You wrote much more about that name, and you’ve considered many more name combinations for Margaret. I wonder if that is the name that deep down you have already chosen if you have a girl? It does seem to tick all your boxes, and gives you the option of having a little Mattie and/or a little Magpie. I love the idea of Margaret Felix – it does seem fresh and unexpected. If you and Daniel like it, then I wouldn’t worry about what other people might think.
With the boys, I don’t think there is a name which you are ready to choose yet. I would say if I had to pick one name which ticked all your boxes the best, it would probably be John. I wouldn’t worry about all the other Johns in your life thinking they are the inspiration – if you pick a classic name that’s been common for over a century, of course there will be many others with the name.
I’m not usually a fan of alliterative names either, but Benedict Barnstead does have a nice ring to it, and the saintly connection is pretty cool. And to me, Edward Barnstead is maybe a bit too ED-heavy, but the more I say it the more I like it; it sounds so definite. Edward from Twilight was partly named after Edward from Sense and Sensibility anyway, so perhaps the connection isn’t as ghastly as you fear.
Daniel hasn’t expressed any preference yet, and it would be very convenient if he could develop a favourite boy’s name, as that might make the decision a lot easier for you!
I think you are doing just great, and have nothing to worry about, despite your concerns. I hope all the over-thinking and worrying is something that you are secretly rather enjoying as part of the name choosing process!
UPDATE: The baby was a girl, and her name is Margaret!
POLL RESULTS: The public’s choices for the baby’s name were Margaret for a girl, and Benedict for a boy, with both gaining one third of all votes.
05 Saturday Dec 2015
Posted in Naming Assistance
Christine and Sam are expecting their second child next year. If it’s a boy – no problems, they have easily agreed on a choice of two, and selected the middle name. If it’s a girl, things aren’t so straightforward.
Christine would adore either Isobel, Evie, Charlotte, or Emerson. However, Sam absolutely loves the name Matilda. On the face of it, this seems fine, because Christine also likes the name Matilda. And Sam really wanted to name their eldest child Avery, but Christine’s choice of Amelia won the day, so Christine wants him to have his turn at choosing a baby name.
Amelia and Matilda seem no drama as sisters, but they always call Amelia “Millie”, and this is the source of Christine’s dilemma. She worries that the sisters will end up being called Millie and Tilly, and this will make them the butt of jokes. She’s tried to convince herself that they could call Matilda “Tilda“, but she doesn’t really love the idea.
Christine wants to know how Amelia and Matilda sound as sisters, and if people will snigger as they call them Millie and Tilly.
Christine wants to stress that Sam also likes all her choices for a girl: he just has his heart set on a little Matilda. The middle name will either be Audrey or Carter, which are both family names.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christine, I get why you’re torn over the name Matilda, as there is a widespread belief that it is stupid and tasteless for your childrens’ names to rhyme. There is even a sterotyped sibset of 1970s siblings named Sharon, Karen and Darren, as a warning to us how we will be mocked if we dare to give our children names that rhyme (today I guess it’s Jayden, Kayden and Hayden).
Except – Amelia and Matilda don’t rhyme. It’s just the nicknames, or the potential nicknames they could be given.
I can imagine that someone might decide to call a Matilda “Tilly” as a tease to match her with her sister called Millie. It sounds annoying, but not really devastating. I would hope that these people would be an irritating minority, rather than the rule.
Or would you want to call Matilda by the nickname Tilly yourself …. except that you already have a Millie? Would you feel able to boldly call them Millie and Tilly, and stare down anyone who giggled?
Even in this case, I don’t think it will be as big a problem as you probably imagine. I went to high school with a girl named Penelope (always known as Penny), and she had an older sister named Jennifer (usually called Jen or Jenny). It did register with me that their nicknames rhymed, but I never commented on it, and certainly never did a finger-pointing laugh over it.
Why not? Well, for a start I was fifteen, not five! And Jenny was already a young adult at university, so it’s not as if I saw them together a lot, or even heard their names said together very often. It might have been different if I’d seen them both in primary school wearing matching uniforms and identical ponytails.
Even the closest sisters will have separate interests and friendship groups. And they will eventually grow up and have their own homes and careers (perhaps live in different cities or even different countries), and their names will barely be an issue. Besides, either one of them might decide they don’t want to be called by a nickname, or prefer a different nickname, such as Amy or Tilda.
I tend to trust your instinct that this time it’s Sam’s turn to have his favourite name, especially as it’s a name which you like as well and makes a nice match with Amelia. It may not be a completely issue-free choice, but I don’t think there are enough problems with it for it to be vetoed.
If I met someone with daughters named Millie and Tilly, I might be slightly amused, but I would think it was very cute. However, I do have to say no to having a son named William later and calling him Billy! You can have too much of a good thing.
Readers, what do you think of Amelia and Matilda as sisters? And are the nicknames Millie and Tilly something to worry about?
(Picture shows a scene from the Disney film Cinderella II: Dreams Come True)
19 Monday Oct 2015
Posted in Name Updates
Natalie and James were expecting their first child, and wrote in to the blog because they weren’t sure what they were going to call their son.
By the time Nat and Jamie got to the hospital, the name Jasper was their front-runner, even though Jamie had originally vetoed it. However, once their little boy was born, Jasper didn’t seem to suit him after all, and so they named him
FREDERIC FONG SHUN “FREDDIE“.
Frederic was another name that Nat had really liked, but Jamie had initially not been so keen on – luckily he decided Frederic was great after all. This is the second set of parents who had seriously considered the name Jasper until their son was actually born, and it’s also the second dad who vetoed a name, but then changed his mind – encouraging news!
Congratulations to Natalie and James on choosing the handsome, manly name with a handy nickname they had always wanted, and thank you to Natalie’s parents for choosing lovely Chinese middle names.
(Freddie wall hanging from The Spirited Puddle Jumper)
25 Friday Sep 2015
Posted in Naming Assistance
Blog readers have already welcomed their second child, but haven’t yet settled on a name for her. They would love to know what other people think of the names they are considering.
The baby girl’s middle name has already been decided on: it’s Clementine. The surname begins with W and ends with N eg Welborn. The baby’s older brother is named Hugo.
Bearing all these factors in mind, which of these names would you suggest to them? You can pick up to three favourites.
19 Saturday Sep 2015
Posted in Naming Assistance
Emma and Dane are expecting a baby boy at the end of the year, and have reached a stalemate in their baby name discussions. They are both extremely busy, and it has been easier to just avoid talking about it.
The first issue is that Dane doesn’t want the baby to have a middle name. He thinks it seems like a hassle, as just another thing that will need to be filled out on forms. Emma thinks it would be nice for their son to have a middle name, and notes that both she and Dane have one.
Emma is also fairly sure what she would like in the middle: one of their grandfather’s names, or a name derived from a grandfather’s name. That gives them a choice of either Michael, Solomon, Felix, or Jack (or a name which is related to one of these names in some way).
Out of these, Emma’s preference is for Michael, which is the name of Dane’s grandfather. Dane was the eldest grandson, and was close to his grandfather. And as Grandpa Michael lived until Dane was in his late twenties, they got to spend a lot of time together. To Emma, it makes sense that they choose the name of the grandfather who was best known and loved.
Apart from thinking middle names might very well be a nuisance, Dane is concerned that a middle name which honours someone could end up being a burden. It will be the name of someone their son doesn’t know, so may not feel any connection to. Dane also worries that choosing one grandfather over the three others risks causing family friction, especially as Emma’s mother is pushing them to use her father’s name, Jack.
They haven’t reached any agreement on a first name either. Dane’s preference is for Spencer or Cy, while Emma leans towards Quentin or Jarvis. Other names they have considered are Jared, Ike, Jarrah, Hank, Miles, Carl, and Carson. Emma and Dane’s surname starts with F eg Firman.
Emma would be grateful for any feedback or ideas as to how to get past their stalemate.
* * * * * * * * * *
I’ll deal with the middle name issue first, since I get the feeling this is really holding up the baby name discussions.
I think Dane is wrong about middle names being an administrative hassle – it’s actually not having a middle name which is a hassle. People who work in places like banks and passport offices expect you to have a middle name, so if you leave it blank they often query it, thinking you have forgotten to write it down, or are possibly trying to pull some sort of scam (they don’t tend to be the most trusting lot).
One of my cousins doesn’t have a middle name, and it was a real pain for her, as there was no way to tell her apart from someone else with the same name eg Jennifer (no middle name) Brown. She had trouble graduating from university as there was another Jennifer (no middle name) Brown, and eventually had to agree to have Jenny Brown on her degree instead of Jennifer. Her bank mixed her up with another customer from the same street who was also called Jennifer (no middle name) Brown, and they routinely received each other’s bank statements and so on. This isn’t just a hassle – it left both of them open to identity theft and fraud.
She married reasonably early to someone with an unusual surname, like Casamiagiento, and as she’s now the only Mrs Jennifer Casamiagiento in Australia, her identity woes are at an end. (Spelling her name is now the big problem). However, she still resents not having a middle name, and feels that her parents ripped her off by not giving her one.
I’m going to go out on a limb, and suggest that the reason Dane is resisting the idea of a middle name might be because he wants to avoid the stress of dealing with “honouring grandpa”. (That’s actually how Cousin Jennifer lost out on a middle name – due to family honouring issues, it went into the too hard basket).
I think it would be a bad idea to coerce Dane into honouring his grandfather with his son’s name, and that it should be his choice whether he honours Grandpa Michael. It might seem obvious that as Dane had the closest relationship with Grandpa Michael, Michael needs to be your son’s middle name. It would make perfect sense – as long as Dane wanted it.
It’s a sensitive subject, as people might have all sorts of reasons for not wanting to choose the name of a beloved family member who has passed away. They might still be grieving their loss, so don’t want to give their child a name connected with sadness. They might feel that the name still “belongs” to their family member, and it would feel disrespectful to give it to someone else.
It seems as if Dane doesn’t relish the idea of choosing sides by picking the name Michael. As your mum is very keen on the name Jack, he may not want to hurt or offend his mother-in-law, and may not want to connect Grandpa Michael’s name with potential conflict and injured feelings.
I think you need to talk to Dane, and ask him to identify where the real problem lies. Does he not want to use the name Michael to honour his grandfather, or would he prefer not to use family names in the middle at all? If you said, “Forget about Michael as it’s too much of a problem – we’ll just go with my grandfather Jack’s name”, would he welcome that decision or feel that now his grandfather was being slighted?
I feel as if you have quite a few options.
-Use Michael
– Use one of the other grandfather”s names, such as Felix, Solomon, or Jack
– Use a similar name to Michael, such as Mitchell, Micah, Moses, Miller, or Miles, so that you get a little reminder of Grandpa Michael without actually using his name
– Honour Grandpa Michael in some other way, such as using a family surname, or something connected to him
– Choose a middle name that doesn’t have anything to do with your family if it’s going to do nothing but cause arguments and stress: there’s no rule that you have to honour your family using your child’s name, and not choosing a family name doesn’t mean that you don’t love or respect your family
It’s really completely up to you and Dane what you decide to do (and it’s ultimately Dane’s decision in regard to using Michael). If possible, try to leave pressure from other people out of your discussions, as it seems like a distraction.
I wouldn’t worry one bit about your son never having met his great-grandfather: apart from having a blood connection, you can talk to him about his great-grandfather, show him photos and mementos, share special memories, and explain what a wonderful person he was. These are the ways we keep a beloved person alive in our hearts, long after they’ve gone.
I can’t help feeling that once you’ve sorted out the middle name, the first name will come a lot easier. I notice you’ve both chosen surnames like Spencer and Jarvis as possible names, so that seems to be something you’ve got in common. You might like Beckett, Jacoby, or Miller. And you’ve thought of a few unusual, American-style nicknames too, like Cy, Ike and Hank, that seem quite hip.
I like Cyrus, but unfortunately Cy reminds me of Cy Walsh, who recently murdered his famous father, the AFL coach: it’s bad timing, because I received your e-mail around the time he had his court hearing. How do you feel about Silas? Actually you’ve got a few names ending in S – what about Darius, Amos, Tobias, Rufus, Otis, Magnus, or Linus? Or Gus?
You’ve also considered three names starting with Jar-. I like the idea of Jarrah, because not only is it an Australian tree, but it’s very much like the Hebrew male name Jarah, meaning “honeycomb, honeysuckle”. Very sweet! Jarvey is a nickname for Jarvis which reminds me a lot of popular Harvey. It seems jaunty.
I really hope you can find time for a good talk about this very soon – those few months until your son is due will disappear like magic. I think it’s time to move past your stalemate, and start making some choices that work for both of you.
NAME UPDATE: The baby’s name was Spencer Moses!
Waltzing More Than Matilda 