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Category Archives: Naming Assistance

Boy’s Names are Giving Them a Headache! Can You Help This Couple Find a Pain-Free Boy’s Name?

23 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

British Baby Names, choosing baby names, classic names, middle names, nicknames, popular names, vintage names

 

hypnotherapy-for-headachesRachel and Nathan are expecting their first baby at the end of the year, and are having some difficulties deciding on a baby name. Rachel and Nathan like old-style and vintage names that aren’t too common, but not too strange or made up.

For a girl, they have pretty much decided on Lottie Grace. At first, Rachel was concerned with how it sounded with their surname, which is a long one ending in an -ee sound, such as DuHannitay. However, she feels happy with it now, and Nathan likes it as well. They chose Grace because it sounds nice with Lottie, but would be open to hearing other middle name suggestions.

Rachel’s first choice was Frankie, but Nathan didn’t like it, and then Rachel rather went off it as well. She also likes Audrey, Millie, Poppy, Elsie – but Lottie is definitely the front runner. Names that they like but can’t use for various reasons include Clara, Edie, Lucy, Hattie, and Maisie.

The real problem is boy’s names. Nathan doesn’t seem keen on many of Rachel’s suggestions, and Rachel is starting to feel that the harder she looks for names, the more confused she feels. These are the names they have discussed so far:

Albie: Rachel likes it, Nathan isn’t sure
Alfie: Nathan prefers this to Albie, but Rachel thinks it’s getting too popular, and dislikes the short form Alf
Arthur: Rachel likes it, but thinks it might be a bit much, and Nathan dislikes it; they don’t like short forms of the name such as Art or Artie
Clem: has been vetoed by Nathan
Jimmy: Nathan likes it, Rachel doesn’t mind it
Max: has been ruled out because it’s too common
Rex: it’s okay, but neither of them love it
George: Rachel has always really liked it, but feels it might be getting a bit too common

Names they like but can’t use include Charlie, Spencer, Louie, Lenny, and Vincent.

The middle name hasn’t been settled yet. They have a family name Bernie (Bernard) in mind, which could be used, but if it doesn’t fit with the name, would drop it for something else.

* * * * * * * * * *

I’m glad you’ve picked a girl’s name, and Lottie seems just your style. I think Grace is a nice middle name, and very fuss-free. The only other short name that occurred to me is Lou – just because Lottie Lou is so adorable. I also think Lottie Amelia and Lottie Matilda make nice combinations. Middle names I’ve seen for Lottie in real life are: Lottie Violet, Lottie Estelle, Lottie Alice, Lottie Scarlett, Lottie Elizabeth, Lottie Margaret, Lottie Harriet, Lottie Olive, and Lottie Lux.

For boy’s names, I can see why you’re having problems. First, you haven’t agreed on many names, and even the agreements have been a bit half-hearted. That might be a sign you have to compromise. Sometimes you get to pick a name that you both love, and sometimes just one of of you likes the name, and the other one can live with it. Or maybe both of you are just okay with the name, and that might work too – you can learn to love a name as your son grows into it.

There’s something I notice with people who say they “can’t think of any names”, or “don’t really like any names”. What they tend to have in common is a lot of rules restricting their choices, so that the pool of baby names to consider is more of a teaspoon.

I always give a little inward sigh when someone tells me that what they want is an unpretentious traditional name that isn’t weird or unusual, but not common at all. In fact, it can’t even become common in the future. In other words, they want a nice normal name that’s exactly like everyone else’s baby name, but they don’t want anyone else to have actually chosen the name for their child, or to do so at a later date.

That’s a tall order. And once they find the four or five names that might fit this paradoxical profile, what are the odds that they even like those names, let alone love them?

Looking at some of your comments on the boy’s names you’ve discussed, I see that Alfie, which is around the #200 mark, is already “too popular” for you, while classic and gently rising Arthur might be slightly over the top. The name that you really like, George, is too common, and Rex, which fits every single one of your requirements, just gets a “meh”.

I confess to being stumped, and I’m not surprised that you’re stumped as well. I  think something has to give – either you start liking names that are a bit more unusual, or you accept that the names you like are gaining in popularity. It’s very hard to force yourself to be attracted to names that aren’t your style, and it would be much easier to come to terms with name popularity, and maybe even discover it’s not such a spooky bogeyman after all.

Let’s have a look at those names which you might actually use, and see if some of their problems aren’t so bad.

Albie or Alfie
You both seem to like the similar sounds of these two names, with Rachel suggesting Albie, and Nathan preferring Alfie. I’m not sure either of you have convinced the other, although I really don’t think Alfie is too common – I wonder if the idea of someone nicknaming him Alf is the real problem?

Albie made me think of Paddy, Rory and Finley, while cheeky Alfie reminded me of a list Elea has at British Baby Names called Lively Lads. I wonder if any of these names might appeal, such as Freddie or Ollie?

Jimmy
This seems like a genuine possibility, with Nathan liking it and Rachel okay with it. It does seem like a boyish version of Lottie, as both are pet forms of very popular names (James and Charlotte). It fits all of your requirements, and is a real charmer of a name. Other names that seem similar are Johnny, Billy, Sonny, Gus, and Ted.

Rex
Poor old Rex – it’s everything you’ve asked for, yet neither of you are that keen on it. That suggests that your feelings for a name are much more important than how many boxes it ticks. Names that remind me of Rex are Roy, Stanley, Victor, Leon, Lawrence, and Theodore.

George
And then there’s George, which Rachel has always liked. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to give your son a name that you’ve always had warm feelings for? And if you’re worried about it becoming too common, here’s something to consider. It already is common. Which sounds like a bad thing, except that here’s something else to consider. It’s always been common. George has never been out of the Top 100, making it one of those sturdy, reliable classics where you don’t have to worry about them becoming popular, because there’s never been a time they weren’t popular. Doesn’t that give you a feeling of security? And it hasn’t been higher than #50 since the 1980s, so it’s popular, but not too popular. Isn’t that a comforting thought?

I think your worries about popularity have made it so hard to think of names that it’s worth starting from scratch, and this time don’t think about how popular a name is at all, or how much more frequently you’ve seen it lately.

I’d like to see the two of you each write down ten boys’ names you really like – names that you can imagine giving your son, names that fit well into your family, names that feel right. Then compare lists, and see if there are any names you’ve both chosen. If so, that’s a great starting point. If not, perhaps there are points of such similarity that you can reach a compromise together.

You’ve got a fair way to go before your due date, so you have time to write in for another blog consultation if you would like one. And take heart – you’ve already chosen a fantastic girl’s name that you both like, and which fits all your needs, so there’s no reason you can’t be just as successful choosing a boy’s name.

UPDATE: Unfortunately Rachel never got back to me, and when I tried to contact her, her email had been disabled.

POLL RESULT: The public’s choice for a boy’s name was George with 35% of the vote, and Alfie was not too far behind on 30%.

Can His Name Just Be Ted?

09 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

choosing baby names, honouring, middle names, nicknames, sibsets

20

This is the first time we have had “repeat customers” on the blog, because Kate and Steve were featured on Waltzing More Than Matilda almost exactly two years ago.

Kate wrote in because she and Steve couldn’t agree on a name for their second child, and were getting more and more frustrated with the situation. They were having particular problems reaching agreement on a girl’s name, with Kate preferring something traditional like Clara, and Steve fancying something more modern, like Zara.

In the end, they had a boy instead. Kate chose the name Lewis, and after some thought, Steve decided he liked it; it makes a nice match with their daughter Madeline.

Now Kate and Steve are expecting their third child in a few months. Having already named two children, they are much more relaxed about the whole thing this time, but are still interested in hearing other people’s opinions.

If the baby is a boy, the name chosen for him is Ted William. They don’t want a long form for his name, because while Kate loves the name Theodore, Steve hates it, and though Steve doesn’t mind Edward, Kate detests all Ed- names. However, both of them love the name Ted.

When Kate told her mother that their son’s name will be Ted, grandma’s opinion was that the baby needed a “proper” first name, in order him to give him “options” in the future. Kate wonders what people think of Ted as a stand-alone name – is it okay, or is her mum right?

Once again however, they are finding girls names a bit trickier. I thought that Kate and Steve would be sorted for girls’ names in the future, because if Lewis had been a girl, Kate wanted the name Annabeth, and at the time, Steve liked it. However, since then, Steve has decided that Annabeth sounds “made up”, so that’s off the table now.

Originally, Kate wanted to name the baby Nell after her grandmother, but Steve couldn’t get on board with the idea. Their daughter Madeline calls the baby “Rosie“, which is rather interesting, because Rose was Steve’s first choice for Madeline’s own name, until he decided he loved Madeline instead. This has reminded Kate that she loves the name Rose too, and Steve seems okay with the idea.

However, Kate can’t find a middle name to go with it. Madeline and Lewis both have family names in the middle, but Kate can’t think of any more female family members she would like to honour. She considered Nell, after grandma, but Rose Nell doesn’t sound right to her. She’s racked her brain to think of a middle name that has some significance to her, and she can’t think of anything. Kate wonders, what middle name would sound nice with Rose?

* * * * * * * * * *

We’ll start off with the Ted-as-the-whole-name issue. Yes, I think Ted is perfectly fine as a name all on its own. It’s becoming quite a fashionable choice as a baby name, and although it’s not a common name, it’s by no means unusual either. It’s even a celebrity baby name, as Livinia Nixon has a little boy named Ted. I think Ted is already a “proper’ name, and a very nice one.

Besides, what other choice is there? Steve hates Theodore, you hate Edward: you can’t give a child a name that one of his parents loathes. It almost sounds as if your mum is saying that even though one of you hates a certain name, the one who draws the short straw should just suck it up for the good of the child and put it on the birth certificate anyway. Or does she mean you should make up a name that could be used as a long form of Ted, like Tedric or Teddington? Because I’m not sure those are “options” most kids want …

Just ask yourself which you would rather tell your son:

  1. We chose Ted as your name because it was a name both Dad and I loved.
  2. We chose Theodore as your name, even though Dad hates it, but Grandma said we needed a proper name for you, but don’t worry, we’ll call you Ted anyway so it’s not a problem and I expect Dad will get over it eventually. And you can always go by Theodore any time you want to make Dad cross and unhappy, so it’s nice that you’ve got that option.

To re-cap. You love Ted, Steve loves Ted, I love Ted, many people love Ted, and I bet anything that your mum ends up loving Ted too, once she meets her adorable grandson. Ergo, Ted is perfectly fine to put on the birth certificate all by itself. And I think Ted William does have options, because he can always use his middle name if he chooses.

I must say I just love the name Rose for you, and it seems like a perfect match with Madeline and Lewis, as names which are English, but with French origins. The story of it being chosen by Madeline is really charming, and has that “meant to be” quality which is so satisfying in a name.

For middle names, I wondered how you felt about using a name which is related to Nell, as a little nod to your grandmother? I know it’s not the same as using her exact name, but it does provide a link of some kind. I was thinking of Rose Eleanor or Rose Helena, or Rose Elena if you wanted something more modern-sounding – I remember Steve was quite keen on Eleni at one point.

I also thought, if Steve originally liked Annabeth but then thought it was too contrived, what about similar names? Maybe Annabel/Annabelle, or Elizabeth/Elisabeth. Or what about a middle name similar to your own name, such as Rose Katherine or Rose Catherine – if there’s no one left to honour in the family, why not honour yourself?

You could also use Nell as a second middle name, if you weren’t keen on Rose Nell. For example, maybe Rose Katherine Nell or Rose Elisabeth Nell, as a way to break it up. Although I seem to recall that Steve hates the name Nell anyway, so perhaps he wouldn’t like it even as a middle name.

And if none of those ideas appeal to you and Steve, there’s nothing wrong with just picking a middle name that sounds nice with Rose, such as Rose Amelia, Rose Evangeline, Rose Lucinda, Rose Matilda, Rose Olivia, or Rose Victoria, for example. With a short name like Rose, a longer name would sound attractive, and make a nice rhythm with your two-syllable surname. Although Rose is so pretty I can’t imagine how you could mess it up – almost anything would sound nice as a middle name to Rose.

Good luck, Kate and Steve – I think once again you are going to come up with a lovely baby name, whether you have a second son or a second daughter.

UPDATE: The baby was a boy, and his name is Ted!

POLL RESULTS
Is Ted acceptable as a full name?
91% of people polled thought that Ted was acceptable as a full name. 42% said of course it was okay, as Ted was a great name, 29% admitted that they would prefer Ted to have a long form, but could see that wasn’t possible in this instance, while 20% thought Ted was just fine. That left 9% of people in grandma’s corner, and adamant that Ted could only be used as a nickname.

Best Middle Name for Rose
A name similar to Nell eg Eleanor or Helena 51%
Any name that sounds nice with Rose 22%
Rose Nell 11%
Rose ___ Nell 11%
A name similar to Kate, such as Catherine 3%
A name similar to Annabeth, such as Annabelle or Elizabeth 2%

(Picture shows the cover of Big Ted and Friends, starring Playschool‘s Big Ted)

Is the Name Duke Legal or Not?

02 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

aristocratic titles, birth registries, choosing baby names, famous namesakes, fictional namesakes, historical records, illegal names, middle names, Nameberry, names from movies, Queensland Births Deaths and Marriages, sibsets, surname names, Suzi Catchpole

channing-tatum-duke-gi-joe13-featured

Ashleigh and her husband Dylan are expecting a boy next month, but are having trouble picking names.

The first hurdle they hit is that Ash really likes the name Duke, but from reading this blog, she found that titles are not permitted as names in Australia. However, she also read that the name was cleared for use by Births, Deaths, and Marriages in New South Wales a few years ago, so now she’s confused as to whether it’s permitted in other states. Ash and Dylan are from Queensland, so the first thing Ash wants to know is: can be they use the name Duke if they want to?

They would like a baby name that isn’t too common and plain, but on the other hand, not too crazy either. Ash and Dylan both like the name Huxley, which they think is very cute for a little kid, but they are not sure if it’s a good name for an adult.

Top names on Ash and Dylan’s baby list
Madden
Presley
Jarvis
Reid
Lennon
Ezra
Nixon
Jensen

Ash likes the names Nelson, Walker, Samson, and Rome, but Dylan has vetoed these. Meanwhile, Dylan likes Hunter and Parker, but Ash has said no to them.

The baby’s middle name will be Corey, and Ash and Dylan already have a daughter named Imogen, so they would like something that sounds nice with that. They have a one-syllable surname that ends with an N.

* * * * * * * * * *

I have some good news for you. I wrote to Queensland Births, Deaths, Marriages and Divorces in regard to the name Duke, and they were kind enough to reply. They said the name Duke has been registered in Queensland before, and that most of the baby Dukes were named after a particular movie character. I wonder if this is Duke from the GI Joe movies, recently played by Channing Tatum?

I thought this might be a little hint that these babies were named after a person named Duke, not the title, and if you were queried, it might be helpful to say that baby Duke’s name was inspired by a particular person (real or fictional) called Duke that made you like the name.

You’re lucky to live in Queensland, which has a very relaxed attitude towards names, and it is rare for names to get rejected. So that puts Duke back on your name list.

I think Huxley is a great name, and I like the way it sounds with your surname. Huxley has that cool X sound in it, and the Huxley family gives it a bit of intellectual glamour. There’s even an Australian connection to the name because of the physicist Leonard Huxley, and T.H. Huxley did some valuable work here, too. I love Imogen and Huxley together, but Huxley Corey is perhaps not the greatest-sounding. It does remind me of another brainy name – Edison, and Edison Corey sounds quite nice.

Probably the only reason you have trouble picturing the name on an adult is because you don’t know any grown ups named Huxley. If you look through the Australian birth records, there were men named Huxley in the past, and most of them lived long lives, and worked and got married and had children, and did all the usual things. Once the babies named Huxley grow into adults, it will seem completely normal.

I love the name Jarvis, and I think this sounds nice with Imogen, and works with the middle name and surname as well. Australian writer Suzi Catchpole has an article up at Nameberry on names with “swagger and sass”, and Jarvis is on that. I wonder if any other of her hip baby names appeal to you?

Ezra really stands out to me on your list, because it’s the only one that isn’t originally a surname. If I had to pick the one name that sounds best with Imogen, it would be Ezra. Imogen and Ezra sound very cool, to my ears.

There’s only one name on your name list that I really don’t think works, and that’s Lennon. It just doesn’t sound right with your surname at all, and every time I try to say it, I end up saying “lemonade”. It also sounds a little bit like a Beatles song …. Another musical name that could work would be Hendrix.

So that’s basically my thoughts – yes you can use Duke, I love Huxley, I think Jarvis sounds best with your surname and chosen middle name, and I think Ezra is the best match with Imogen. All the other names sound fine to me, except Lennon, which unfortunately doesn’t go with your surname. That’s the only one that I would definitely cross off your list.

But how are you feeling about your name list, now that Duke is up for discussion? Could it be your top choice? Or maybe you can see yourselves using Huxley after all?

UPDATE: The baby’s name was Vincent!

POLL RESULTS: The public’s choice for the baby’s name was Ezra.

What Do You Think of These Names for Twin Girls?

21 Saturday Jun 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 43 Comments

Tags

choosing baby names, middle names, name combinations, sibsets, twin sets

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Constance is obsessed with names, and now she is living out many a name nerd’s fantasy – she and her partner Sean are expecting twin girls next month.However, she’s finding the reality is a lot more stressful than you might think!

Connie and Sean have different name preferences, which is proving tricky to co-ordinate with twin’ names. Sean’s favourite name for a girl is Martha, which Connie thinks is lovely, but has found that other people aren’t so welcoming towards it.

Her own favourite for a girl is Winter – nice and straightforward, yet being a name nerd, she can’t help dreaming up lists of other possible twin combinations. She feels that she has lost sight of which names she really loves, and which are just passing name crushes. (Any of this sounding familiar???)

What Constance and Sean would like in a name:

  • universally recognised, if possible
  • an established name which isn’t too common, or too faddish
  • easy to pronounce
  • has a positive meaning and name history
  • possess some character, such as being strong even though feminine

Connie and Sean already have a son named Christian, and they like that his name is well known, established, but not too common. However, they aren’t fussed if the twins’ names don’t “match” with Christian.

Some twin combinations Constance is considering:

  • Ursula and Wilhelmina (nn Ursi and Willa)
  • Alexandra and Raphaelle
  • Olivia and Winter
  • Olive and Winter
  • Posie and Martha
  • Isis and Olive
  • Frances and Sophia
  • Bridget and Anabel
  • Delphi and Sophia
  • Theodora and Aurora (nn Teddy and Rory)
  • Noa and Isa
  • Violet and Mabel

Connie finds middle names a lot easier, and she likes them to be a little more flamboyant than the first name eg Winter Raphaelle, Martha Primrose. The surname ends an EE sound eg Raleigh, so Connie doesn’t want a name that ends with that sound.

Connie feels as if she is going around in circles, while Sean has had enough of it all and has simply given up.

* * * * * * * * * *

I don’t blame you both for feeling overwhelmed – naming even one child is a challenge, and having to do two at once is exponentially harder. I wonder if being a name nerd is making you feel even more pressured than usual, as if you must come up with twin names that are perfect in every way. I think that’s how I might feel in your position, at least.

I admire both the name Sean likes best, and the one you like best, and there’s a part of me that would like to be able to say, Well why not have twin girls called Martha and Winter? They are both lovely names, and would be given with love. And yet …. that might be being too idealistic.

People have a horrible tendency to judge twins against each other, especially female twins. The tiniest differences will be remarked on, so that a twin 2 inches smaller than her sister can be called the “short twin”, or one preferring to read while her sister loves sports will be called the “nerdy twin”.

I’m labouring this point because I notice that in several of your twin pairings, one twin has a name which is noticeably more clunky, or less popular, or less feminine, or less “cute” than the other. Part of me isn’t bothered by it, and would like to live in a world where one twin having a clunkier name, or one twin being shorter or more freckled or thinner or sportier, just doesn’t matter. Both are equally good, both are equally precious and loved.

Then there’s the part of me of that worries how the world will judge things. I know it’s not possible to ensure your children’s’ names are equal in every way (and if they are too even, then they seem “matchy”), but I think it’s worth keeping in mind.

Ursula and Wilhelmina (nn Ursi and Willa)
I really love this – these names are both quite substantial, but also elegant and sophisticated. I just wish there was a better nickname for Ursula: Willa is quite fashionable as a name in its own right, while Ursi seems more obviously “just a nickname”.

Alexandra and Raphaelle
Very pretty combination, although Raphaelle is a bit more exotic than popular Alexandra. I wonder if giving if it a little twist, such as Alessandra or Alexandria, might even things up a bit?

Olivia and Winter
I think this is a real crowd-pleaser: I can imagine very few people disliking this set of twin names. Because Olivia is a name from Shakespeare, and The Winter’s Tale is one of his plays, it even seems quite literary. Olivia is a very popular name, which does break one of your “rules”, but perhaps that won’t seem as important as you thought.

Olive and Winter
I can see you’ve gone for a less popular form of Olivia, and I do like these as twin names, but somehow I keep thinking Olivia seems like a more natural fit.

Posie and Martha
This is absolutely charming, although Martha seems a much sturdier choice than pretty Posie, and Posie also seems more nicknamey. To me it works though; they seem to balance each other without being too much of a clash. Posie does end with an EE sound like your surname – would a formal name like Josephine help?

Isis and Olive
To me it seems unfair for one twin to be named after a goddess, and the other after a tree.

Frances and Sophia
I love the way these two names sound together, with one beginning and the other ending with a S. Sophia is obviously a lot more popular than Frances though.

Bridget and Annabel
These are both very attractive vaguely Celtic names, although Bridget probably does fall under the “clunkier name than the other twin” category. I’m not sure it matters though.

Delphi and Sophia
I love the shared PH sound in the middle and the Greek origin of these names: both very meaningful as well. There’s quite a difference in popularity of course.

Theodora and Aurora (nn Teddy and Rory)
Love the tomboy nicknames for these elaborate formal names, but Theodora and Aurora do actually rhyme with each other. Not that it’s as noticeable as Fay and May, or Sallie and Hallie.

Noa and Isa
These seem very different from the other names you’ve chosen, so neat and simple, and even unisex. However, to me Noa seems like a name, while Isa is “just a nickname”.

Violet and Mabel
I like this pairing of retro names very much, they seem perfectly matched without being matchy. And they are pretty without being fluffy – they’ve got some sass to them.

I can why you keep going round in circles, because you like a wide variety of names, from rare to the Top 5, from frilly and feminine to sturdy and clunky, from long and elaborate to short and snappy. It’s one of the perils of name nerdism.

I wonder if it would help if you focused on those names and styles you like best, and concentrated on those. You did say that Winter was your favourite name, so what about if you tried to find a match for it, rather than thinking of all the possible name combinations?

What about:

  • Winter and Annabel
  • Winter and Sophia
  • Winter and Elodie
  • Winter and Scarlett (both surnames, a white/red combo)
  • Winter and Clementine (clementines are a winter fruit)
  • Winter and Posie (an allusion to winter and spring)
  • Winter and Violet (another winter/spring combination)
  • Winter and Lark (another winter/spring combination)
  • Winter and Aurora (an allusion to darkness and dawn)
  • Winter and Eden (another beginning/end combo, both unisex names)

I know poor Sean has become exhausted by it all and retreated, but once he’s had a good rest I hope you can persuade him to start talking names again. It’s a big task to name two babies all on your own, and I think you need his input and feedback. He might find it less overwhelming to discuss something specific, like, What name sounds nicest with Winter?, rather than What possible combinations could we think up for the twins?

Both you and Sean have got fantastic taste in names, even if your tastes don’t always synchronise, and I know you are going to pick beautiful names for your girls.

Readers, what do you think would be good names for the twin girls?

UPDATE: The twins names are Martha Primrose “Posie” and Winter Raphaelle!

POLL RESULT: The public’s choice for the twins’ names was Mabel and Violet.

What Would You Name a Sister for Allegra?

14 Saturday Jun 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

celebrity baby names, choosing baby names, flower names, honouring, Italian names, middle names, rare names, sibsets, underused names

IRISES-SAINT-REMY-C-1889_03

Imogen and Charles are expecting their second child later this year, and while they have had no difficulty choosing a boy’s name, they are struggling with girls’ names.

The couple already have a daughter named Allegra, and her name was always such a stand out for them that nothing else ever had a chance. Now they wish they could find that perfect name again: one that is strong, but still feminine, and not in the Top 100. It also has to be something that isn’t overshadowed by Allegra. Allegra has two family names as her middle names, one of which is Claire.

Imogen and Charles’ Short List

  • Iris
  • Clara
  • Margot
  • Greta
  • Greer

Other names they like (as an idea of their tastes):

  • Celine
  • Viola
  • Virginie
  • Sloane
  • Inneka

Charles favours the name Margot, while Imogen prefers Clara, Greta, and Greer. However, they have recently come up with Iris together, and at the moment this is their front runner.

Claire is a middle name which all the women in Imogen’s family carry, and they will use it again, unless they choose Clara as the first name. Their surname begins with H and ends with an -ee sound eg Hillary, Hardesty.

Imogen would love to know what people think of their name list, and if they have suggestions for other names they might like.

* * * * * * * * * *

This is such a common problem with a second baby – the name you chose for your first child was so utterly perfect it didn’t need to be thought about, but the name for the second doesn’t come as easily. Of course you want your second daughter to have a name as equally beautiful, distinctive and loved as her elder sister, and it will happen, even if it takes a bit more work to get there.

Iris
I went for a walk this morning, and saw a garden where there were some winter-blooming blue irises; I thought what beautiful flowers irises are, and what a lovely name Iris makes. I know Iris is your front-runner at the moment , and it’s probably my favourite on your list too. It does seem both strong and feminine, and I don’t believe it’s overshadowed by Allegra – it has its own style, and a beauty all it own. I also like that it’s a name you both chose together.

Clara
This is one of my favourite names, but I’m not sure about it with Allegra. You probably know that Allegra was the daughter of the poet Lord Byron, and her name was actually Clara Allegra – she went by her middle name. To me the two names seem a bit too much as sisters, especially as poor little Clara Allegra didn’t have a long life.

Margot
This is interesting, because just a few weeks ago a couple wrote in to the blog considering the name Margot for their second daughter. Margot suddenly feels like a name of the moment! No wonder, as it’s such a beautiful, stylish choice, and a great favourite with the public too, if the poll attached to the earlier post is anything to go by. I do like the way Margot sounds with your surname, and Allegra and Margot are gorgeous together.

Greta
Greta is definitely a strong name, and isn’t overshadowed by Allegra. Somehow when I say the two names together, they sound rather alike to me … They both have a strong GR and short e sound in them, and end with an -a sound. Some people really like similar-sounding sibling names like this, but I must admit to preferring them to sound more distinctive.

Greer
You seem to really like the GR sound in names! In theory, Greer should be the best match with Allegra as neither of them have ever charted, but to me this has the same issue as Greta, but even more so. Allegra and Greer almost seem to run into each other, as if Greer is the final syllable in Allegra given a little twist.

Other names you might like

  • Beatrice or Beatrix
  • Celia or Cecilia
  • Cora (a little like Clara)
  • Cosima (another Italian name, like Allegra)
  • Dahlia (another flower name like Iris)
  • Genevieve
  • Ingrid or Sigrid (other GR names)
  • Isadora
  • Marguerite (as you seem to like “Margaret” names)
  • Miriam
  • Pearl (literal meaning of Margaret)
  • Saskia
  • Seraphina or Sapphira
  • Theodora or Thea
  • Vivian or Vivienne

To me, all these names are very feminine, but still have strength to them, and they don’t seem mis-matched as sisters to Allegra. None of them are any more popular than the 200s; most are lower than that, and many don’t chart at all or have never charted.

However, I wonder if you have already picked out the perfect name? Good luck with your name search, and do let us know what name you eventually choose.

Readers, what do you think of the names Imogen and Charles are considering, and do you have any suggestions of names they might like?

UPDATE
The baby was a boy, and his name is Fitzpatrick!

POLL RESULTS
People’s favourite choice for a girl’s name to go with Allegra was Iris, with 39% of the vote, and Margot was close behind at 35% of the vote.

(Painting shown is Irises by Vincent Van Gogh, 1889)

How Do You Resolve Baby Name Disagreements?

31 Saturday May 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

choosing baby names, compromising on baby names, middle names, sibsets

Couple arguing

Scarlett and Toby have a baby daughter, and it took them eight weeks after her birth to choose the name (they went a little over the deadline for registration). It was a very stressful process and they disagreed on basically everything. Part of the problem was that they waited until she was born to choose the name beause they were convinced they were having a boy, so they weren’t prepared with girls’ names. Then everybody else seemed to have an opinion on what name they should choose, and that made it harder to decide, rather than easier.

Eventually they managed to compromise on a name, but Scarlett was unhappy that her favourite girl’s name couldn’t be used. She feels that choosing a baby name is often portrayed as one that’s fair and equal, with the parents choosing a name together they both really love, but she knows from her own experience that this isn’t always the case.

Scarlett would like to know which parent should have the final say on the baby’s name in cases where there is clear disagreement. During the time that she and Toby were arguing over their daughter’s name, often in front of other people, she was told many times, by both men and women, that the mother should have the final choice.

After all, the mother has carried the baby for nine months and birthed it (no small task!), will probably be doing the majority of child care, and therefore using the name more frequently. Scarlett is aware this isn’t how everyone’s family situation works, but it’s the reality of her life, and of most women she knows.

Then again, Scarlett wonders how important this is when being a baby and child is such a small part of a person’s life, and their name should really be for their adulthood and old age, not their few years of childhood growing up with mum and dad.

Scarlett wonders what couples should do if they can’t reach an agreement. Does one choose the first name and the other the middle name, then reverse for the next child? Would it be a bad idea to pick the name out of a hat and let fate decide? In other words, is there a simple rule to be followed that can eliminate arguments?

* * * * * * * * * *

You’ve asked the $64 000 question there, Scarlett (or the $600 000 one, allowing for inflation and currency conversion). And the short answer is that no, there is no standard rule to be followed to decide who gets to make the final decision in naming disputes.

As you’ve discovered, many people subscribe to the idea that the mother should get to make the final choice, due to her unique role in pregnancy and childbirth, and historic tendency to be more involved with childcare. I’m not completely convinced by it, because it seems as if you could make a case to say that since the father is so left out of the pregnancy/birth/childcare, the least you could do is let him name the baby.

I know some men say that since they are the ones most likely to be making the greater economic contribution, and for a lot longer than nine months, the father should get more of a say (I’m not convinced by that argument either – apart from anything else, you shouldn’t get to buy your child’s name).

I’m uncomfortable with the whole idea of “mum chooses” or “dad chooses”, because it seems to be setting the parents up as antagonists, with one of them the victorious winner, and the other the despondent loser. As you’ve found, the stress of the baby naming process can bring on quite enough conflict as it is without creating a system that pits you against each other.

Ideally, you should work together to come up with a system that reduces the amount of conflict you have, and facilitates open communication. I think already you’ve learned a few things that you won’t do again that will make it easier in the future.

You know now to start the baby naming process well before you give birth, and to make sure you have a list for both boys and girls names, and not to let other people get involved in your baby name arguments. As you’ve found out, no matter how well meaning your friends and relatives are, they rarely prove helpful, and can often just confuse things further.

If you reach a point where you just flat out disagree on what the name should be, then there isn’t one single option which will suit everyone, and it’s up to the two of you to negotiate on an outcome which suits you best (or you dislike the least).

It might work out for one of you to choose the first name and the other the middle name, but there could also be problems with it too. What if mum wants the name Gemma and dad wants Emma – how happy would you be with Gemma Emma? Or if there’s a severe style mis-match, could you live with Doris Mikailyah? And if you swap the next time around, will your children’s names sound a bit odd together if you have a Harper and a Demetrius? And what if you end up having only one child?

Choosing a name out of a hat sounds like it might work better if you both agreed on several names, liked them all fairly equally, and just couldn’t pick between them. If you actually dislike each other’s name choices, I can imagine it might be quite a blow to have a name you really loathe forced on you by a hat. I think you’d have to come up with some rules, such as vetoeing in advance anything you really hated.

Compromising on the name, as you and Toby did, can work out well. They say the sign of a good compromise is that both people are unhappy with the result, but that’s not good enough for your child’s name – you both need to be happy with the name you choose. You might have a pang of disappointment that your favourite name didn’t make it, but the chosen name should be one that you both like and can imagine using for the rest of your lives.

The important thing is that you see yourselves as a team working towards the same goal: a great name for your child. But in the end, how you go about it is whatever works for you and Toby. Nobody can tell you how to choose a baby name – there’s no right or wrong way.

Readers, what do you think is the best way to resolve differences when it comes to baby names? And what methods have you used successfully?

POLL RESULT: A clear majority (69%) thought that if parents didn’t agree on the baby’s name, they should resolve their differences and reach a compromise together. However, a significant minority (18%) believed that in the case of a baby name deadlock, the mother’s choice should take precedence. In contrast, just 2% of people thought that the father’s choice should be used to break a deadlock. In fact, Dad getting to choose the name fared worse than blind chance, with 7% voting for a coin toss or the name being pulled from a hat. 4% were in favour of a trusted outsider, such as a grandparent, best friend, or family adviser (perhaps a minister of religion) being given the responsibility of choosing the name – quite eye-opening that this was twice as popular as the father getting to choose the name. Nobody thought that complete strangers should be entrusted with choosing the baby name, with online polls and radio phone-ins completely rejected as options.

Is Margot the Next Big Thing?

24 Saturday May 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

choosing baby names, famous namesakes, French names, Latin names, name popularity, name trends, nicknames, popular names, sibsets, UK name trends, underused names, US name trends

 

Margot-Robbie-Wallpapers-14-624x630Melissa and Luke have a little girl named Audrey, and are expecting their second child in a few months. Audrey doesn’t have a middle name, since they have a hyphenated surname, and this will be the case for the new baby as well, whether it’s a boy or a girl.

Mel and Luke have quite compatible naming styles, with both preferring traditional or slightly retro names. Mel likes the idea of older names which are familiar, but not overly common; however, a popular name isn’t an issue unless it seems “trendy”.

Mel and Luke’s Name List
Girls – Genevieve, Margot, Eliza (not in order)
Boys – Elliot is the front runner, but Mel can’t seem to let go of Theo, Sonny, and Remy. These last three names were possibilities for Audrey’s name if she had been a boy, and went on and off the list during the last pregnancy too. Mel thinks that the reason she feels uncertain about them is because they feel too “nicknamey”.

Luke’s preference for a girl’s name is Genevieve, but Mel worries it’s slightly too clunky, and doesn’t much like the nickname Jenny/Genny. Mel’s preference is for Margot, which she thinks is quite spunky, but every time Luke sees actress Margot Robbie in a magazine, he says that he’s concerned that Margot is going to be the next celebrity-inspired trendy name. Mel thinks that it’s celebrity baby names which are more likely to become trendy, not the names of celebrities themselves.

Mel wants to know whether a celebrity name like Margot might really become too trendy as a baby name, and would be especially interested to know what we think of their boys names? In particular, what about Sonny? Is it a “proper” name?

* * * * * * * * * *

I love all the girls names you are considering. I must say, I never thought of Genevieve as clunky before – it’s so elegant, but with real substance. Jenny was the usual nickname for Genevieve during the loooong period that Jennifer was popular, but these days I think Evie is the more obvious short form.

Margot is simply gorgeous, and so stylish. I think one thing Margot Robbie has done for the name is give it more oomph, because I didn’t really think of it as a “sexy” name before (in fact it seemed quite cool and intellectual to me).

That’s an interesting question about whether celebrities or their children are more likely to influence popular names. I had a look at the Top 50 girls names, and I noticed that a few names do seem to have been influenced by celebrities.

Mia first charted in the 1960s, at the same time as Mia Farrow became known from soap opera Peyton Place, but didn’t reach the Top 100 until the 1990s. Olivia first ranked after Olivia Newton-John’s career started, and appeared in the Top 100 in the late 1970s. Sienna has ranked since the 1990s, but suddenly took off in the 2000s when Sienna Miller began her career, and reached the Top 100 almost instantly. The name Isla only began charting in the 1990s, when Isla Fisher joined the cast of Home and Away, and it became a Top 100 name in the late 2000s.

So I can see where Luke’s concerns come from – he’s thinking, “Sienna Miller and Isla Fisher were pretty young women in the magazines a decade or so ago, and now there’s thousands of Siennas and Islas. What if the same thing happens with Margot?”

Well, for a start, there can be quite a wait before the name becomes popular – Mia took thirty years! And even if it happens relatively quickly, as with Olivia, Sienna and Isla, there might still be 10-15 years between the names beginning to be known, and becoming popular. To me it feels as if celebrity baby names have a more immediate effect on name popularity.

And there’s another thing to consider: Mia, Olivia, Sienna, and Isla were “new” names, in that they had never been in the charts before. Margot has already been in the charts – which in my view, saves it from being a “trendy name”. It charted from the 1930s to the 1970s, coinciding with the career of ballerina Margot Fonteyn, and it never became popular – the highest it got was #218.

At the moment there’s not really any sign of an imminent Margot revival, although in 2012 six babies were named Margot in Victoria (where Margot Robbie began her career); just enough to show up in official data. So, while anything is possible (and Margot is rising in both the UK and US), it still seems a safe choice, as far as trendiness goes.

I rather hope one of you will convince the other to choose either of these names, as they are both so lovely. Otherwise, there’s always Eliza, which both of you like, and which makes a wonderful match with Audrey.

Elliot is a great choice for a boy, and I think it’s brilliant as a brother to Audrey, although I suppose it does make having an Eliza later a bit less likely. However, there’s those three names you just can’t quit …. I’ve had that experience too, of those names you just can’t give up, even though you keep tossing them off the list, and I know family and friends who have been through the same thing.

In my experience, two things might cause this issue:

  • The name you keep being drawn to is the right name, and your head just keeps over-ruling your heart by coming up with excuses like, “Too nicknamey”.
  • The name is one that you genuinely love, but a more sensible part of you knows that no matter how desirable the name is, it’s not really right for you. (This is the part of your brain that stops you from buying a stunning evening gown that you know you will only wear once, or from going trekking in Nepal with five children under the age of six).

I can see that part of the reason you can’t really say Yes or No to the names is that you originally picked them for your first child. If you had had a boy first, you could have taken these names with you to the hospital, and one might have been a perfect fit and you would have called your son Sonny (or Remy, or Theo). Or you might have realised they weren’t for you after all, and your son would have been Elliot (or Leon or Hugh or something else). But instead you had Audrey, so you never got a chance to try them out for size in the real world.

I think you should stop throwing them off your list, and grant them amnesty. Wait until the baby is born, because you might be bringing Audrey home a sister rather than a brother anyway, and once again the names could end up in the Maybe One Day category of baby names.

But if you do have a son, this will be your chance to try the names out on a real live little boy. Maybe Remy (or Theo or Sonny) will be so completely his name that you will finally understand why your heart could never let that name go. Or maybe you’ll think they are lovely names, but not quite right after all.

They don’t really seem to be traditional or retro, which you said was your style, but then again, neither is Elliot, exactly. I wonder if your style is actually traditional or retro for girls, and something more modern for boys? I’ve noticed that we Australians often seem to like girls to have fairly conservative names, but will choose contemporary names for our boys. Theo, Remy and Sonny are cute and modern-sounding, although Remy is not a “nickname” name – it’s French for the Latin name Remigius. I think they’re all adorable, and very cool.

As to whether Sonny is a “proper” name: to me if you are allowed to put a name on the birth certificate, it’s a “proper” name. Yes, its origins are definitely nicknamey and affectionate, like Buddy and Buster, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a real name. It’s been in use since the 16th century, so it has a surprisingly long history, and it’s actually in the Top 100 and rising in the UK, while in the US it has charted consistently since the 1920s. So not only is it a “proper” name, it isn’t even very new or very uncommon.

What do you think, readers? Will Margot Robbie make the name Margot trendy? Is Sonny a proper name? And what do you think of the names Mel and Luke have chosen?

UPDATE: The baby was a girl, and her name is Margot!

POLL RESULTS: A majority of people felt that Margot was a safe choice, with 34% thinking it probably wasn’t coming to become trendy, and 22% saying that it couldn’t become trendy, as it was already an established name. However, there were still plenty of people who weren’t convinced of this, with 27% believing it probably would become trendy, and 8% absolutely sure it would become trendy. A cautious 9% weren’t sure what the future held for Margot.

A majority also thought that Sonny was a proper name, with 40% saying it wasn’t exactly a traditional name, but still acceptable, and 16% deciding that it definitely was a proper name. A tolerant 4% believed that all names were “proper names”. However 32% thought Sonny was more of a nickname, and 8% were adamant that Sonny wasn’t a real name at all.

Margot was the clear favourite for a girl’s name, with 50% of the vote going to Margot, 28% to Eliza, and 22% to Genevieve.

Elliot was the favourite for a boy’s name, with 39% of the vote going to Elliot, 33% to Theo, 18% to Remy, and 10% to Sonny.

(Photo is of Margot Robbie)

Will Lillia Get Lost in the Crowd?

10 Saturday May 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

choosing baby names, fictional namesakes, name popularity, name trends, nicknames, popular names

127509-11f2cc74-9c0c-11e3-8857-926a2cf5fac5

Emma and her husband Matt are expecting a baby later in the year. If they have a girl, Emma’s choice would be Rosamund – a name she has loved for many years. She loves the history of the name, the meaning, and the fact that it has ties to her favourite book, Picnic at Hanging Rock. Matt is willing to go along with it, but dislikes the -mund ending.

Recently, Emma discovered another name she likes – Lillia. She would be willing to give up her beloved Rosamund for Lillia, because Matt loves it. However, Emma is worried that Lillia is not distinctive enough. Not only is Lily very popular, but there are lots of other similar names in the Top 100, such as Lola, Layla, Lila, and Olivia.

Emma found it annoying to grow up with a very popular name, and swore she would never put her child through that. Now she wonders if a Lillia would experience the same issues she did, only with names that are highly similar instead.

* * * * * * * * * *

Lillia is what we name nerds describe as “not trendy, but on trend”. You almost never see it, but it has instant recognition as being similar to many other popular or rising names. Although L-L and LL names are a huge trend for girls, I wouldn’t worry so much about Lola, Lila, Ella, and Milla (etc etc) – it’s difficult to avoid zeitgeist.

Even though there are lots of popular girls names with a strong L sound in them at present, I don’t see how having several other girls around her with vaguely similar names would negatively impact a Lillia. Maybe once in a while there would be a Did you say Lillia? Oh, you wanted Olivia moment, but I don’t see how that would be a real problem.

The only thing to really think about in this regard is the highly popular Lily/Lilly, and the rapidly rising Lillian, especially if your daughter ended up with the nickname Lili or Lil. I can see that even though Lillia is a very uncommon name, it’s not impossible she’ll be one of a few Lilys/Lillys/Lilis.

Of course, the popularity of a popular name today is nothing compared to what it used to be. If you want some exact numbers, last year there were 1403 girls named either Lily or Lilly, and 176 named Lillian. That’s just over 1500 potential Lily/Lilly/Lili name twins, out of more than 150 000 baby girls born in the year – around 1%, even combining all the names together. Does that sound a bit less scary?

I think Lillia is a beautiful name, and I can quite understand why you are taken with it, and Matt loves it. It has a soft lilting sound without seeming weak or frilly, and clean, elegant lines. I think its similarity to other names gives it familiarity, so that it fits in with current trends, while still seeming different. To me, it doesn’t get lost in the crowd, and if you were worried about Lillia being another Lily, you could use Lia as the nickname instead.

Rosamund is a gorgeous name too, and also fits in with current name trends, because almost every week in the birth notices I see baby girls named Rose, Rosie, Rosa, Rosalie, Rosemary, or even Rosabella. What an enviable baby name dilemma you have – choosing between two such lovely names! Either way, you can’t go wrong.

UPDATE: The baby was a boy named Arthur!

POLL RESULTS
79% of people were in favour of using the name Lillia. 32% thought it blended in with the crowd, rather than getting lost in it, while 16% thought that its rareness automatically made it distinctive. 31% thought it was a bit too much like currently popular names, but was so nice it didn’t matter. 18% of people were against using the name Lillia, believing it sounded like too many girls names in the Top 100, while 3% were undecided.

It was a close contest choosing between Rosamund and Lillia, but Rosamund had the edge at 45% to 42%. 13% of people liked both names equally.

(Picture is of Melbourne’s White Night festival; photo from the Herald Sun)

Can You Help This Mum Find Some Baby Name Inspiration?

03 Saturday May 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

baby name websites, choosing baby names, classic names, honouring, Laura Wattenberg, middle names, name popularity, nicknames, Nymbler, sibsets, The Baby Name Wizard

images

Elizabeth and Thomas are expecting their second child later this month, but are yet to seriously discuss names. They already have a little boy named Xavier, but Elizabeth isn’t too fussed about “sibset flow” – she just wants the children to have names they like.

What they would like in a name

  • Not extremely popular
  • Not very uncommon
  • No unusual spellings
  • A name that can stand the test of time, and suit an adult as well as a child
  • Elizabeth would most like a classic or traditional name, combined with a more modern or contemporary middle, such as Zali or Eden

Names currently being considered
Girls: Grace or Kate, with Olive or Victoria as the middle name. Elizabeth loves the name Zara, but Thomas isn’t convinced.
Boys: Elizabeth really likes the name Jack, but believes it is too popular. She likes Ned, Ted, and Sam, but isn’t 100% sold on them. They earlier considered the name Lenny, but weren’t sure they could love it forever as much as they did initially. They may use the family name Geoffrey as the middle name.

Names that have been crossed off the list
Girls: Maggie
Boys: Elizabeth has crossed off Harry and Charlie, and Thomas has crossed off Ben, Benjamin, Clancy and Chas. Noah and Joe are also off the list.

The family surname begins with M and ends with R with an L sound in it eg Marler. Because of this, they have eliminated Amelia as a possibility, and any two-syllable name ending with -la, such as Ella or Layla. Elizabeth loves alliterative names, and would be happy with a name starting with M.

Elizabeth is feeling quite stuck in regard to name inspiration, and is hoping blog readers can help her out with some ideas. She wishes she could just have a list of names in front of her, so she could tick or cross off ones she likes or doesn’t.

* * * * * * * * * *

Elizabeth, when you said you would like a list of names that you could either say Yes or No to, that reminded me of the Nymbler website, run by Laura Wattenberg of the Baby Name Wizard.

To use it, you choose up to six names you like as your name inspirations, and then press Find Names – you can also select boy or girl names, or both. Once you receive your list of names, you can either save the names you like by pressing the heart symbol, or you can block the ones you dislike so you won’t see them again. I find the longer you go on from the same set of names, the more crazy and random the name suggestions get.

Another online tool that is a bit more focused is the Baby Name Expert on Behind the Name. You have to register to use the site (it’s free), and then you will find it under the Tools menu. You select a gender, and the country you are from (Australia is included), and then it starts suggesting names at random.

At this point, you can tell the BNE that you love the name, and save it to your list. Or you can tell it that the name is okay, and the reasons that you don’t mind it. Or you can give it the flick, and explain why this name is completely wrong for you.

Each time you either save, okay, or ditch a name, you will receive suggestions based on your preferences. Unlike Nymbler, the longer you use this app, the more focused and sensible the suggestions tend to get, and it’s very fast to move from one name to the next.

Anyway, that’s two methods of getting a long list of names that you can tick or cross off. It might be fun to do this with Thomas, so you can choose names together, and discuss your preferences. Or if he finds this kind of thing boring or stressful, it’s a way to immediately get a list of names you like that he can either agree to or nix in his own time.

I can’t give you hundreds of name ideas, but I did notice that all the names you chose were short and simple. You seem to like sensible, wholesome names for girls, like Grace and Kate, with maybe something more elaborate, trendy, retro, or modern in the middle. For boys, you seem to like cute, nicknamey names like Jack, Ned, Ted, Sam, or Lenny.

Girls names that reminded me a bit of Grace and Kate include

  • Alice
  • April
  • Audrey
  • Bonnie
  • Claire
  • Daisy
  • Hope
  • Ivy
  • Lucy
  • Maisie
  • Rose
  • Zoe

Possible middle names could be

  • Aria
  • Clementine
  • Eleanor
  • Eloise
  • June
  • Pearl
  • Penelope
  • Tess
  • Sadie
  • Scarlett
  • Susannah
  • Vivienne

Cute boys names could be names like

  • Alfie
  • Digby
  • Finn
  • Freddie
  • Gus
  • Jed
  • Jem
  • Kit
  • Mack
  • Nico
  • Rafe
  • Roy
  • Sid
  • Sonny
  • Toby
  • Vince

It seems as if you have already picked out nice names though – Grace and Kate are perfect, and Grace Victoria or Kate Victoria is quite regal.

There are several boy’s names you like, but you don’t seem ready to commit to any of them yet. I wonder whether you just need more time, or need to meet your baby first before you decide? Or maybe you’d prefer choosing a formal name for the birth certificate, with a nickname for everyday use, like Edward nn “Ned”, or Theodore nn “Ted”, or Lennox nn “Lenny”.

I know you are getting close to your due date, but don’t let that panic you. Take some time to get a list of names that you and Thomas like – names that you can imagine calling your child, and that fits in with your lifestyle. You don’t need to decide on one until after the baby is born, and if you still don’t have a name, you have weeks after the birth to choose one.

Good luck Elizabeth – for some reason I feel as if you are closer to finding a baby name than you think, even if you end up with something completely different than the names you are considering. Do let us know what name you choose for your baby once she or he arrives!

NAME UPDATE: The baby’s name is Patrick!

How Can She Choose a Modern Baby Name If He’s Still Living in the ’70s?

05 Saturday Apr 2014

Posted by A.O. in Naming Assistance

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Biblical names, birth notices, choosing baby names, classic names, middle names, name combinations, popular names, sibsets

047728-bcabc874-5cb4-11e3-8eb9-1c57f26bd260Fiona and Brent are expecting their fourth child next month. They had no problems choosing names for a baby girl, but have found it more difficult to agree on names for boys.

Fiona and Brent want many of the same things in a name: it must be easy to spell and pronounce, it must be recognisable as a name to everyone, it must have a long history of use, and it must have an established nickname. The trouble is, they don’t always see eye to eye on what those things mean.

Brent only likes names that he is familiar with from people of his own generation – the names of people he went to school with. His choice would be a name like Peter, Ian, Jason, or Nicholas.

Fiona doesn’t want a dated 1970s name for her son, although she would be happy with a classic name that has always been popular. She would like a religious association for the name, but could gain that from the middle name. Her choice would be a name like Owen, Dominic, Patrick, Luke, or Silas.

As a result, Fiona and Brent are left with a very short list of compromise names which are classics, and could belong to someone of any age. So far they have managed to agree on John, David, William, and Patrick.

Sometimes Fiona loves the idea of having a little Johnny, Davey, Billy or Paddy, and feels a compromise is absolutely fine. Other times she worries that these names will sound out of place on a baby born in 2014, and seem a bit old-fashioned next to the Lucases and Olivers who will be his schoolmates. These concerns are significant enough to keep her awake at night.

She wonders if there is any such thing as a classic name which is a safe and reliable choice, and yet still sounds fresh? Or have they picked out good names, and can stop looking for something else?

Fiona and Brent’s other three children have very nice classic names from the Bible. Fiona doesn’t care at all if the name doesn’t fit into a “sibset”, although the names they have already chosen do happen to sound good together.

The middle name will be John, unless they pick John for the first name, and the second middle name will be Francis.

The family surname is an unusual English one that is instantly recognisable as the name of an extremely famous fictional character eg Merlin, Batman. It tends to get good-natured teasing, and although it’s a nice surname with positive associations, they don’t want a first name which will draw further attention to it, or excite more comment.

* * * * * * * * * *

I was so interested to get your e-mail Fiona, because I quite often see women writing in to name forums saying that their partner only likes names from his own generation, and the advice often seems to be to wait until the next baby, because by then he’ll have realised that the popular names of today are Chloe and Mason, not Kylie and Jason. Clearly that doesn’t always work, since you are now up to Baby #4 and Brent hasn’t changed his mind.

If it makes things easier for you, it really isn’t that uncommon for couples to choose baby names from their own era. Many people like “normal” baby names, and for some, normal means the names they grew up with. I read birth notices every week, and you’d be surprised how many families I see where the children’s names could be people I went to school with: Emma, Natalie and Damien, or Penelope and Marcus, or Joshua, Sarah, Michael and Elizabeth.

I think you’ve come up with an excellent compromise in choosing classic names that feel familiar to Brent, yet remain common enough that they haven’t become dated. It probably suits your surname too, because if your surname is unusual yet highly recognisable from another context, a classic name gives it dignity, and even a bit of anonymity.

However, you did ask if there is a way to choose a classic name that feels fresh and modern, and to a certain extent, there is. Last year I wrote an article on classic names, which sorted them into categories, and the first category is Contemporary Classics, which are classics currently at their most popular, so that they feel traditional, yet also up-to-date. Boys names in this category which were reasonably common in the 1970s include:

  • Alexander (#69 in the 1970s)
  • Angus (#139 in the 1970s)
  • Lachlan (#137 in the 1970s)
  • Marcus (#109 in the 1970s)
  • Samuel (#83 in the 1970s)
  • William (#48 in the 1970s)

There are also the Up and Coming Classics, which are currently rising in popularity. Although a classic name can’t exactly sound original, Up and Coming Classics seem quite fresh and stylish. Boys names in this category which were reasonably common in the 1970s include:

  • Frank (#143 in the 1970s)
  • John (#14 in the 1970s)
  • Leon (#141 in the 1970s)
  • Patrick (#65 in the 1970s)

As you can see, three of the four classic names you are considering are actually quite fresh and modern, with William very popular, and John and Patrick rising. And David is still in the Top 100, and fairly stable, so it definitely isn’t dated. I don’t think these will stand out or seem strange in a future classroom.

I know you were a bit iffy about William, and whether it sounded odd with your surname, and I’m going to be the one who tells you: yes it does. Even though it’s a handsome classic, it does draw attention to your surname, in the same way Arthur Merlin or Robin Batman would seem a bit much (even if you called him Artie or Rob). I would cross William off your list.

I think John, Patrick, and David all sound really nice with the middle names you have chosen, and they all sound fine with your surname. Basically, I guess I’m saying you have already done a good job of choosing names for your potential future son, and there’s no need for you to keep looking.

I hope that you can now get a few good nights sleep in before the baby arrives!

Readers, which of the names on Fiona and Brent’s name list do you like best? And do you have any name suggestions for them?

(Photo shows 1970s bowler Jeff Thomson)

NAME UPDATE: The baby’s name is John Patrick Francis!

POLL RESULT: The public’s choice for the baby’s name was Patrick John Francis, with nearly half of respondents voting for this name combination.

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