Category Archives: Naming Assistance

What Would You Call a Brother or Sister to Lucas in an H-Free Zone?

04 Saturday Jul 2015

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Tessa and Patrick are expecting their second child in a few weeks, a sibling for their son Lucas. They already have middle names picked out – Marguerite for a girl, and Philip for a boy. These are both family names, and Lucas has a family name for his middle name too.

Tessa loves lots of names which start with the letter H, but the family surname also begins an H eg Howitt. She thinks names such as Henry Howitt or Hannah Howitt sound very sing-songy and she doesn’t like them at all. This has made choosing baby names a bit more challenging for her.

So far their name lists look like this:

Girls
Gemma (front runner)
Jemima (Tessa loves this name but Patrick doesn’t)
Zoe
Imogen

Boys
Felix (front runner)
Milo
Toby
Charlie
Oscar

Tessa wants to know what people think of their name lists, and if they can suggest any other names they might like that sound nice with Lucas and don’t start with H.

* * * * * * * * * *

Bad luck with the surname issue, which can indeed change what names you decide upon (my husband outlawed anything ending in S or X). Luckily there are 25 other letters in the alphabet, leaving you with plenty of choice.

GIRLS

Gemma
Very pretty (Gemma Marguerite is lovely), and it sounds like a great match with Lucas. It also seems like an excellent compromise for a couple where one person loves the name Jemima and the other doesn’t.

Jemima
I also love this name (so stylish), and feel sad you’re not allowed to use it. I’ve noticed dads often can’t get into the name Jemima.

Zoe
I like Zoe Marguerite a lot, and Lucas and Zoe make for quite a modern-sounding sibset.

Imogen
Imogen and Lucas are wonderful together. Somehow this reminds me of both Gemma and Jemima, so it almost seems like another good compromise choice.

BOYS

Felix
I love this name, and like how it sounds with your surname, and with Lucas. However, if you don’t like alliteration, how do you feel about Felix Philip?

Milo
This actually sounds really good with Lucas, even though Milo is a bit more daring. To me Milo sounds like a very energetic young boy – maybe because you “go and go and go with Milo”, or because his initials would be MPH (miles per hour). Pretty cool.

Toby
You’ve picked another winner as a match with Lucas, because Lucas and Toby just sound brilliant together.

Charlie
Adore this with your surname – it just sounds so breezy, yet competent and trustworthy. Amazingly I couldn’t find any examples of people using it online, so even though it sounds completely normal, it doesn’t appear to be common.

Oscar
I like Oscar Philip as a name combination, and I like that it’s an Irish name, like Patrick’s.

Other Names You Might Like

Annika
Clara
Eloise
Isabel
Romy
Stella

Dexter
Jasper or Casper
Jonah (it means “dove” like Jemima)
Maxwell
Rafe
Rafferty (if Rafe seems too stuttery next to Philip)

These names all seem stylish, yet are simple and fuss-free, which I think might be what you and Patrick are looking for. Although I think you have a nice shortlist already, and with only a few weeks to go, adding more names to the list may not be what you really need at this point.

UPDATE: The baby was a girl, and her name is Gemma!

POLL RESULTS
The public’s clear choice for a girls’ name was Gemma, with 35% of the vote. The top choice for a boy was Toby with 26% of the vote, but Milo and Oscar were close behind, with 24% and 21% of the vote each.

Could Oscar and Scarlett Be Brother and Sister?

23 Saturday May 2015

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Aimee and her husband are expecting a baby girl in a few months; they already have a son named Oscar, so are looking for a name that will complement his.

Aimee really likes the name Eloise Josephine, but unfortunately her husband doesn’t like the name Eloise. The other two names that Aimee likes are Scarlett and Stella, however, she thinks they are a bit too similar to Oscar’s name. SCARlett has the same SCAR as oSCAR, while Stella is also two syllables and ends with an -uh sound. She wonders if other people agree that Scarlett and Stella are too much like Oscar to work as possible sister names.

Aimee thinks Charlotte would make a good alternative to Scarlett, as they end in the same sound, while in Charlotte the SCAR is softened to a SHAR. She really likes the way Oscar and Charlotte sound together, even though she always thought she would avoid a name in the Top Ten. However, so many of the popular names are really nice!

At the moment, her shortlist is:

Eloise
Scarlett
Estelle
Stella
Charlotte
Liliana

She wonders if anyone else thinks that Eloise works well with Oscar, and would be grateful for any feedback on her name list, or any suggestions of other names that she might like.

* * * * * * * * *

To answer your last question first, I think Eloise is a very pretty name, and works well as a sister to Oscar. I also like the name combination of Eloise Josephine. However, I’m not the baby’s parent, and I don’t get a say in it, so that’s probably not much help to you. Your husband doesn’t like the name Eloise, and unless he changes his mind, Eloise has to get crossed off the list. I know it must be disappointing, as your favourite name is a perfectly nice choice, but that’s how it goes.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you, and fathers have been known to change their minds when left alone, so don’t give up all hope.

To me Scarlett and Oscar are not too alike, because you don’t pronounce Oscar as o-SCAR – it’s Osk-uh. I often see brothers and sisters named Oscar and Scarlett in birth notices (it seems to be a rather popular combination for siblings), and even seeing it written down, I’ve never thought it seemed strange in any way. Now having had it pointed out, I rather like it: it seems like a nice little link between the names that isn’t too obvious.

I can see what you mean about Stella and Oscar – they’re both two syllables with the stress on the first syllable, and both end with an -uh sound. I guess that does make them a bit alike, although I certainly wouldn’t have thought anything of it without prompting. I don’t know if it’s a huge issue, unless it really bothers you – does it seem funny or hard to say when you call both names together, or do you just hate the idea of sibling names not being completely distinct from one another?

Charlotte does seem like an alternative to Scarlett, although you are right that it’s very popular. It’s sensible not to be too bothered by popularity for a name you really love, but I’m not sure the Top 2 is the first place to go when searching for an alternative to a name you love. I think I’d be more enthusiastic if Charlotte was your first choice, rather than your third or fourth, because it is a lovely name, and does sound nice with Oscar.

Estelle and Liliana are both very pretty – I can see that you prefer feminine names for girls, although Liliana is a bit frillier than your other choices.

Some other names you might like:

Elodie
This pretty French name is a bit similar to Eloise (EL-uh-dee), but hopefully not so similar that your husband dislikes this name as well. It’s losing popularity in France, but gliding elegantly up the charts in the UK. Could you get on board with Elodie Josephine?

Elise
Another French name similar to Eloise, not quite as popular.

Emmeline
Emma is the feminine equivalent of Oscar in popularity, and fashionable Emmeline gives you that French three syllables shared with Eloise, as well as the sensible feel of Charlotte.

Violet
Another popular colour name which ends in an -et sound, like Scarlet and Charlotte. For some reason, the combination of Oscar and Violet really appeals to me.

Hazel
A colour name like Scarlett, and a popular name rapidly climbing the charts. As with Violet, I find Oscar and Hazel a completely adorable sibset.

Juliet or Juliette
Another -et sound ender, and three syllables like Eloise, but less popular. The Juliette spelling might appeal to you as having more of a French look.

Sylvie
A sweet and pretty French name – Oscar and Sylvie strikes me as a delightful combination.

Clementine
A very fashionable French name, which might seem like a more daring alternative to Charlotte. I do like Oscar and Clementine together.

Vivienne
Another fashionable French choice, very much in line with popular choices like Olivia. I like the sound of Oscar and Vivienne.

Well there’s some other ideas to mull over, but since you’ve been forbidden to use your favourite name of Eloise, I’m rather hoping you will decide your second choice of Scarlett isn’t too similar to Oscar after all.

NAME UPDATE: The baby’s name was Scarlett!

POLL RESULTS
91% of respondents thought Oscar and Scarlett were not too alike for siblings’ names. 46% thought they were a good match, 29% thought they sounded just fine together, and 16% thought they were a little bit too alike, but not enough to worry about. Only 9% thought that the SCAR sound in both rendered them unusable as names for a brother and sister.

86% of respondents thought Oscar and Stella were not too alike for siblings’names. 35% thought they were a good match, 31% thought they sounded fine together, and 20% thought they were a little bit too alike, but not enough to worry about. 14% thought they were too similar to be usable for a brother and sister.

The public’s choice for the baby’s name was Scarlett, with 29% of the vote, and Eloise was the second choice, with 22% of the vote.

Is Grace Too Short, or Too Popular?

09 Saturday May 2015

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Kristel and David were told they couldn’t have children, but just as they gave up trying, they discovered they were expecting a baby girl, who will arrive in a few months. They are still a bit in shock, but naturally overjoyed.

There is only one name they have both agreed on – Grace. As soon as they found out the baby’s sex, Dave began calling her Gracie. As well as both of them liking the name Grace, it seems appropriate, since their daughter feels like something of a “miracle baby”.

However, Kristel is worried that the name Grace is too popular, and hates the thought that their daughter might have to share her name with four other girls named Grace in all her classes at school. She has suggested other names to Dave, such as Amelia, Elisa, and Stella, but he doesn’t care for them. Dave quite likes the name Estelle though.

Kristel believes this might very well be their only child, and she wants her daughter to have a suitable, traditional, classic, feminine name that she will hopefully like and feel proud of.

Another issue is that Kristel and Dave have a one syllable surname that sounds similar to a vocabulary word, such as Cooke, and people have told them that because of this, they need a longer first name to balance their short surname.

The middle name they have picked out is Audrey, a family name which the baby will share with three other generations. However, Kristel is open to suggestions.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kristel and David, congratulations on your wonderful and very unexpected news! After years of waiting, of course you want your baby to have the perfect name, and it’s natural to feel that this is your one chance to get it right.

My instinct is that you have got it right, because I immediately connected the name to your situation, with Grace implying a divine gift or blessing, related to the word grateful. The Greek goddesses known as the Graces were also connected with fertility, giving it another level of meaning.

Furthermore, Grace seems to tick all your boxes very neatly, because it’s a classic, traditional, and feminine name. Blog readers are in agreement that Grace is a beautiful timeless classic, simple yet sophisticated, suitable for all ages, and intelligent and professional, so it seems eminently suitable. I think Grace Audrey is a very attractive name combination as well, and love the idea of using a family name that has been passed down for several generations.

But what about its popularity? Grace is in the Top Ten if you look at names without combining spellings, and is #12 on the combined spellings list. That represents just a little over 1200 babies called Grace born in Australia during 2014 (about 0.8% of baby girls). There are around 7000 schools in Australia which accept primary school students, so statistically that isn’t even one Grace per Year 1 class. More good news is that Grace’s popularity has been stable for more than a decade, making it a safe, if popular, choice.

I can’t guarantee that your daughter will be the only Grace in her class, but I would be astounded if there were five girls called Grace. In the case of name-sharing in a classroom (or sports team etc), a nickname is often a help, so should it happen, Gracie could perhaps come to the rescue.

Is Grace too short? I haven’t been strongly persuaded by the argument that a short surname needs a longer name to balance it. Looking at famous women named Grace, singers Grace Jones, Grace Slick (born Grace Wing), and Grace Knight sound perfectly fine to me. In fact Grace Jones was born Beverly Jones, and she chose to use her “too short” middle name Grace instead.

Two short names together do sound quite strong and punchy, and I think there may be a touch of sexism involved, as people seem to be most keen that girls with a short surname be given a longer name. I wonder if you were having a boy instead, and were considering the name Miles, would you be given the same advice, or would Miles Cooke sound okay? If your daughter feels that Grace Cooke is too abrupt for her, she has the option to go by Gracie Cooke if she prefers – and I guess she could always go by her middle name if she wanted to.

In a case where they were worried about name length and popularity, some parents might choose to use Gracie as the name on the birth certificate, but is that the right choice for you? Because you say that you want a traditional classic name, that seems to point more towards Grace than cute Gracie. I get the feeling that you would prefer your daughter had a name like Grace, and kept Gracie as a nickname only.

Whether a name is too short or too popular is a matter of personal choice, and you and Dave are the only people who can answer these questions. But it feels as if you have really settled on Grace already. It’s the only name you agree on, and Dave seems to have begun getting emotionally attached to the name, already thinking of his daughter as little Gracie. I imagine it might be quite a wrench for him to think of her as anything else.

Although I can’t promise that your daughter will love her name, there is nothing wrong with the name Grace, and lots of things that are right. And I can’t imagine anyone not feeling proud to learn the special meaning of their name, and touched to know that their father was already calling them by their pet name before they were even born.

As you say, this is most likely your only child, and I would hate to see you compromise on another longer, less popular name together, such as Estella, and then regret it later. Deep in your hearts, do you already know that her name is Grace?

UPDATE: The baby’s name is Grace!

POLL RESULTS
96% of respondents didn’t think that Grace was too popular to use. 46% of people said not to even think about popularity once you’ve found the right name, 35% thought Grace was a little bit too popular, but still usable for someone who loved it, and 15% flat out said it wasn’t too popular. Only 4% of people thought Top 10 Grace was too popular to even consider.

93% of respondents didn’t think that Grace was too short matched with a one-syllable surname. 69% of people thought it sounded good, while 24% thought it seemed okay. 4% thought it did seem a bit odd, but not enough to worry about, while only 1% (one person) thought it sounded ridiculous. 2% of people weren’t sure.

What Would You Name a Brother for Alfie and Ned?

28 Saturday Feb 2015

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Kathleen and Michael are expecting their third child in a few months, and already have two sons named Alfie and Ned. If they have a girl, there are plenty of names that they could choose, but they are quite stuck if there is another boy on the way.

They have considered the name Otis, but are not sure if it fits with their other children’s’ names, and Michael has rejected the name Jock, which was also under discussion.

Kathleen and Michael like fairly traditional names which aren’t too common – Kathleen doesn’t want a Top 100 name, or a name which is rapidly rising into the Top 100.

They would prefer a nickname-style name to match Alfie and Ned, hopefully one which doesn’t start with A or N, and ideally would like a shortish name, as they have a reasonably long surname eg Bassingthwaite.

* * * * * * * * * *

Kathleen, I can sympathise with you having tons of girl’s names lined up, yet feeling stuck for boy’s names after having two sons. I have two daughters, and if we had another child, I would be brimming with ideas for boys’ names, but picking another girl’s’ name would be a bit stressful.

I feel confident that we would come up with an attractive girl’s name that sounded nice with our surname, fitted the middle names we have planned, and sounded okay with her siblings. But would I be able to pick a name that we absolutely loved, that thrilled us to the marrow, and that seemed to click into place absolutely perfectly? I’m not sure about that.

It’s possible that it will be hard for you to find a name that you instantly connect with and get excited over, and I think in that situation it’s only fair that you keep your expectations realistic, and your options open.

When you’re not feeling the love, then at least you can be business-like about it, and think about names that really work for you – that fit into your family, and that tick as many of your boxes as possible. You’re still a fair way off your due date, and you definitely have time to find a good name. Maybe even time to learn to love a good name!

First off, I wouldn’t dismiss Otis immediately if you like it. I think it’s a fantastic choice; it’s very hip and is nowhere near hitting the Top 100. And although it might not be an obvious match with Alfie and Ned, I don’t think it sounds bad with them either.

It’s a cute, spunky name, like Alfie and Ned, and being a surname form of Otto, you could see it as having a bit of a nickname vibe too (especially as Otto itself began life as a nickname). I think Alfie, Ned and Otis make a nice set, and Otis sounds great with your surname too.

However, if I haven’t managed to convince you, don’t worry, because there are so many fashionable and cute nickname names for boys that aren’t in the Top 100.

Two that are going like hot cakes at the moment are Lenny and Sonny, which have a similar popularity to Ned. However, if you are super nervous at the idea that your chosen name might go Top 100 one day, then these are a bit of a risk.

Three that are a similar level of popularity to Alfie are Gus, Jimmy, and Johnny. I must say, I think Gus sounds adorable as a brother to Alfie and Ned, and is another stand out choice with your surname.

Once we start getting into the less-common, but still familiar, nicknames, you might consider Jonty or Ollie. I’m seeing a lot of Vince and Joe lately, and Monty is one which seems like a perfect match with your sons’ names, and with your surname – it sounds quite posh.

Or you could go for something which is rarely used, such as Freddie, Jem, Kip or Kit. Freddie is ultra-cute like Alfie, and Kip has that same air of derring-do and adventure that Ned has.

However, I don’t think you should tie yourself down to thinking you must have another short form name, just because Alfie and Ned have one. There’s plenty of other names that will still blend in nicely with your family.

You could pick a name that isn’t a nickname, but has a cute, nicknamey feel, like Remy. Or a surname name that has a casual, nicknamey vibe, like Digby or Murphy. Or a nickname that doesn’t come from a name, like Banjo, Dusty, or Sunny. There’s also short simple names, such as Rex – that would sound really handsome alongside your boys, and very alpha male with your surname.

Out of the names I’ve mentioned, I think my favourites would be Otis, Gus, Monty, Freddie, Kip, Digby, and Rex, but if you are truly out of ideas, I think you should let your imagination go wild. Eliminate names you really hate, and names in the Top 100 if that bothers you, then let yourself consider any name that sounds attractive and fits with your family. The results might surprise you!

UPDATE: The baby was a girl, and her name was Pearl!

POLL RESULTS
People’s favourite choices for a brother for Alfie and Ned were Otis (32%) and Gus (29%). If Pearl had been a boy, her name would have been Otis.

Can Cousins Be Named Mai$ie and Macy?

07 Saturday Feb 2015

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Vanessa and her husband are expecting their fourth child next month. They already have a son named Darcy, and two daughters named Molly and Matilda, and would like a traditional name which fits in with this sibset.

They live in a rural area, and would like a “country” style name which would suit their farming background (by this they mean an Australian country name, not an American “cowboy” type name). If they have a boy, they are considering the name Digby, which is the name of a good friend.

If they have a girl, they have fallen in love with the name Mai$ie. However, Vanessa’s sister-in-law, who lives not too far away and who she is reasonably close to, is expecting a baby girl several weeks after her, and is planning to call her daughter Macy.

Vanessa thinks Mai$ie and Macy are two separate names that are pronounced in different ways. Unfortunately, her sister-in-law disagrees. She believes that Vanessa has “betrayed” her, and “stolen her thunder”, and has made every effort to cut Vanessa out of her life (as much as is possible when you are family members living nearby).

Vanessa is having trouble understanding what her sister-in-law’s issue is, and she wonders what people think of this problem.

* * * * * * * *

I’ll get straight to the sister-in-law issue, which I suspect is your main reason for writing in. This is an extension of the “name stealing” issue – some people not only want their child to be the only one (in their family or their town) with a particular name, but they don’t want anyone else to choose a name which even sounds alike. This is a problem, as there are so many names which sound similar to other names that obeying this request can seriously limit your pool of name choices.

That your sister-in-law feels “betrayed” suggests that she announced her name choice before you did, and is now angry that you picked a name that she sees as uncomfortably close to her favourite name, Macy. I wonder if this is her first baby, as that might increase feelings of wanting to feel “special”: in any case, she probably feels that announcing Macy’s name will have had a bit of shine taken off it.

Funnily enough, the last couple who wrote in to the blog considering the name Digby had a name-stealing issue too, as friends of theirs already had a son named Digby. After some deep soul-searching, and considering other names they could use instead, they decided to use Digby anyway, as it was the only name they really loved. Their friends were quite upset over their choice, and after that things became quite cool between them.

The trouble is, it’s a bit harder to just press on regardless when it’s a family member who is upset with your decision. This is your sister-in-law, who lives an hour’s drive away and who you felt quite close to. You’ve already had a taste of being cold-shouldered for just thinking about using the name Mai$ie, and I’m sure it’s made things quite awkward and unpleasant for you, and possibly for the extended family as well.

As you previously got on fairly well, I hope you will be able to get your relationship with your sister-in-law back on track. If you are are able to talk to her, it might be an idea to find out what exactly she is so upset about. Does she hate the idea of the cousins having similar names that might be confused, as they will be very close in age? Or does she just hate the idea of you being the first?

As both of you are aware you are due to give birth before her, and are therefore in the stronger position, and the default “winner” in this situation. I wonder what she would do if the positions were reversed – would she kindly step aside and choose a different name for her daughter so that you could have Mai$ie? Something tells me that she would stick with Macy, even though it meant risking having two cousins with similar names.

The basic etiquette in this situation is “first in, best dressed”. As the “loser” with less power in this situation, it is her role to accept this as gracefully as she can, and to realise that she has the choice of either picking a different name (if she can’t bear the thought of cousins named Mai$ie and Macy), or of learning to live with the situation if she can’t bear the thought of giving up the name Macy.

As the “winner”, it is your role to be as gracious, understanding, and sympathetic to her plight as possible. It’s perfectly okay to be sorry that she’s unhappy without feeling responsible for it, or changing your behaviour to suit her. You can let her know that you didn’t have any intention to hurt her, and that if you have a daughter named Mai$ie, it won’t in any way make her little Macy any less special, or loved, or welcomed into the family.

I don’t think it would be helpful to your relationship with your sister-in-law for you to choose another name, unless you genuinely feel that this whole episode has spoiled the name Mai$ie for you, or you fall in love with another name.

If you name your daughter Mai$ie as you always intended, then most likely she will eventually get over it, especially if she finds that the names aren’t any huge problem, and that the whole family easily copes with having a Mai$ie and a Macy. Be brave, and be prepared to continue being gracious and compassionate to your sister-in-law until everyone gets used to it.

And most of all, don’t make too big a deal about any of this until the baby is born, as you don’t even know at this point whether you are having a girl at all. It would be silly to have a big fight or a huge drama over something that might never happen. It might be a good idea to gently remind your sister-in-law that for all you know, it is a boy on the way for you.

In some ways, it would be rather convenient if you did have a boy – I’m sure your sister-in-law thinks so, anyway! If you did, Digby would be a great choice. It’s a handsome name, has a nice country feel to it while also being quite hip, and is a lovely way to honour your friend.

Readers, what do you think about Vanessa’s “name-stealing” dilemma, and what advice do you have for her?

Changing a Baby’s Name Due to Name Regret

29 Saturday Nov 2014

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Scarlett has written in to the blog before, as she and her partner Toby had a terrible time choosing a name for their daughter, who is just about to have her first birthday.

They were very close to choosing Eva, and Eve was also high on the list, but in the end they went with Evelyn. Scarlett can no longer remember why they picked Evelyn; the whole thing is a blur in her memory, and they hastily scribbled the name down on the registration form in a state of blind panic. Neither of them loved the name Evelyn, but neither of them hated it either, so it seemed a safe choice.

Ever since then, it has felt strange for Scarlett to call her daughter Evelyn, and every day she agonises over the choice, feeling she made the wrong decision. She hoped the name would grow on her, and that she would get used to it, but it hasn’t happened. The naming process itself was so stressful and even traumatic that it “tainted” the name Evelyn for her.

Friends and family members tend to call Evelyn “Evie” for short, and Scarlett is now considering changing her daughter’s name to Eve. She loves the fact that Eve is short and easy to spell, internationally well-recognised, and has a beautiful meaning – “life”. On the other hand, Evelyn doesn’t mean anything to her, and serves as a reminder of a deeply unhappy time.

Toby is considering agreeing to the change, but hasn’t made up his mind. Scarlett remains quite hopeful though, because Eve was originally on his own list of favourite names.

Some people have advised Scarlett to keep the name Evelyn, and just call her daughter Eve, but Scarlett doesn’t want to do that. She feels that Eve and Evelyn are completely different names, and don’t even sound alike.

Scarlett doesn’t think changing the name is a big deal as it’s just dropping three letters, and most people call her Evie anyway. She thinks others will quickly adjust with minimal fuss, and she’d rather change the name than spend the rest of her life fretting over it. Toby on the other hand worries that everyone will think they are crazy to go through a formal change rather than simply announcing that they will be calling their daughter Eve from now on, even though Evelyn is on the birth certificate.

Scarlett wonders how common it is to change a baby’s name, and would love to hear from anyone who has been through the process, or is an adult who had their name changed during infancy or childhood. Are there are any problems it could lead to, and will their daughter have to constantly refer back to her original name when seeking or showing identification?

* * * * * * * * * *

You seem to have a very clear-cut case of baby name regret – not just a few wistful thoughts about that favourite name that couldn’t be used, or the odd moment of wondering if you could have chosen something else, but deep unhappiness every day for almost a year. You know that you didn’t choose the name in the right mindset, or under ideal circumstances. A name change seems like a good idea, and as your daughter is nearly a year old, a decision that shouldn’t be delayed for much longer.

I agree with you that this seems like a very simple change, one that shouldn’t inconvenience people or cause mass confusion. In fact, most people have said they support such a change: they just don’t see why you should go to the bother of making it official. It’s even more straightforward, because Evelyn isn’t a name that Toby loves. It sounds as if Eve was a name you both liked, and perhaps should have chosen in the first place (and maybe would have, if you both weren’t feeling so pressured and miserable).

I can’t see any reason why the name change would be refused by Births, Deaths and Marriages, and in New South Wales you are permitted three name changes of a child as long as it hasn’t been twelve months since the last name change. It will cost you $174 to change the name, and a further $44 to have a new birth certificate issued, which I think is probably a good idea.

I’m putting a link to the form for change of name so you can see all the things you have to do. You need to provide plenty of identification, and to explain the reason for the name change in some detail.

The main thing is that both parents have to be on board with the name change, so you need Toby’s consent. It sounds as if he does agree to the change of name, he just fears the potential social embarrassment of making it official. However, I think people will get over it pretty easily, and there’s nothing “crazy” or abnormal about changing your baby’s name. To me it makes sense to have the change made official, as I think it will cause fewer administrative mix-ups in the future.

I know I would hate to have a name that my mother disliked or which made her unhappy, even if nobody called me that in everyday life, so try to see things from your daughter’s point of view when she is older. I don’t think she will need to refer to her change of name in future, since it would be done while she is just a baby, but check with the BDM staff just to be sure.

I can’t give you the numbers for how many people in Australia change their child’s name, but according to Baby Center, one in eight parents surveyed had experienced baby name regret, so it isn’t anything particularly unusual. Most people who change their child’s name are glad they did, and it’s a way of settling the name worries once and for all – you don’t want to still be thinking or talking about this a year from now.

NAME UPDATE: Scarlett and Toby changed their daughter’s name from Evelyn to Eve!

What Would You Call Archer and Cleo’s Baby Sister?

15 Saturday Nov 2014

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BROTHER AND SISTER

Lydia and Oliver have a son named Archer, and a daughter named Cleo – Lydia found the blog quite helpful when they were choosing Cleo’s name. They didn’t plan to have more children, but are expecting another girl next month. Now they feel at something of a loss when it comes to names.

The two front runners at the moment are Edie and Quinn. Lydia has been thinking about Edie and loving it ever since she found she was pregnant, while Quinn is a recent name love which seems cute and sassy, like Cleo. Lydia wonders if Quinn is feminine enough for a girl, although she has been tracking it in birth announcements on the blog, and believes that its use skews more towards the pink end of the spectrum.

Other names that have been considered are Amelie nn Millie (she worries that it would constantly get turned into Emily, just as Cleo is often mistakenly called Chloe), Milla nn Millie, and Lexie. Lydia loves the name Holly, but their one-syllable surname ends with an OW sound (eg Bough), and Oliver says Holly Bough sounds too much like “Holy Cow”. Lydia wonders whether it does really?

Oliver likes the names Alice, Zoe, Molly, and Elle/Ellie, but Lydia has vetoed all of them. She thinks that Cleo and Elle sound odd as sisters, as they are both titles of women’s magazines. Lydia likes the name Eve, but a friend has a daughter of this name, and she’d feel bad about forcing her to name-share, although that wouldn’t stop her if it was the clear favourite.

The middle name will probably be a family name, maybe Joy or Hannah, although they’re not sure yet. Lydia feels that once they have selected the name, the middle name will slot into place pretty naturally.

Lydia would ideally like a name that’s ahead of the curve that won’t be confused with other names, loves names that either start or end with a vowel, names that can be shortened to an -ee sound nickname (eg Quinnie), likes the letter X, and fancies a name starting with E, so the children’s initials would spell ACE, but these are just nice-to-haves rather than must-haves.

Lydia wonders what people think of Edie and Quinn, and if there are any other names that would suit a sister for Archer and Cleo?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I think Edie is a great choice which seems to tick pretty much all of your boxes. It’s fashionable and spunky like Cleo, and has a relaxed casual feel like Archer. It also seems a bit like Oliver’s choice of Ellie, and would sound great with the middle name Joy, if you end up using it.

The only drawback that occurs to me is that a mum who wrote in to the blog last year said that she had a daughter named Edie, and people often misread it or mispronounced it as Eddie – maybe they thought it was short for Edwina? I’m only mentioning that because you said you would prefer a name that didn’t get mistaken for other names, although it seems as if many shortish girls’ names get muddled (as an Anna who gets called Hannah or Emma, I think most get used to it).

Quinn is also a great choice – it’s sleek and modern, and in a similar style to Archer and Cleo. I think make sure that you feel comfortable saying and calling Cleo and Quinn together on a regular basis, because although they look very different, they start with the same sound.

The only data I have for the name Quinn is the 2012 complete data from Victoria, and that shows Quinn to be fairly evenly unisex – 24 girls named Quinn, and 30 boys. That tallies with my own observations, because I quite often see a girl named Quinn and a boy named Quinn in the same week of birth notices. (Girl Quinns have been selected for the Birth Announcements on the blog more often than boys, as they tend to have more stylish or interesting middle names). I think it seems suitable for either sex.

Holly -ow did not particularly sound like Holy Cow to me – it reminded me more of Holly Bough, which is why I selected Bough as your fill-in surname. The trouble is, no matter what anyone else says, if Oliver hears it as Holy Cow, he’s probably always going to hear it as Holy Cow, so I think it has to be crossed off as a possibility.

Here are some other names which might appeal:

Eden
I thought this might work with Edie as the nickname. It’s clean and modern like Quinn, unisex but more obviously feminine in usage, associated with Eve, and sounds nice with Joy as the middle name. It’s popular, but still at the bottom of the Top 100, and is on the upswing without rising rapidly. Is this too religious or too gardeny for you?

Millie
You seem really keen on Millie, but can’t quite find the right name to get there, while Oliver has Molly as one of his favourites. Millie is so spunky and stylish, and I think Archer, Cleo and Millie sound wonderful together. If you are considering Edie as a stand-alone name, why not Millie?

Minnie
Millie + Quinnie = Minnie? This is an extremely cute name that’s super sassy – it’s so ready for a comeback, and is already doing well in the UK.

Romy/Romie
This is such a hip little name, and I think it makes a great match with Cleo. It has the same syllable sounds as Zoe, which Oliver likes.

Roxy/Roxie
If you like Lexie, how do you feel about Roxie? To me it has that same sassy feel as Cleo.

Hallie
This short form of Harriet is in line with Holly, Molly, Ellie, and Millie, and like Cleo, is a vintage choice which seems fresh and contemporary. I’m wondering if Hallie -ow still sounds like another phrase to Oliver, though.

Heidi
Reminds me of both Holly and Hannah. I hope Oliver doesn’t hear it as sounding too much like “hide a cow”, or “cowhide”.

Hazel
Somehow this pretty name reminds me of both Holly and Zoe, and if you used Zellie as the nickname, might seem like Ellie without being too run of the mill. It seems like an interesting and unexpected match with Archer and Cleo, although like Quinn it doesn’t follow the pattern of beginning or ending with a vowel.

Winnie
You love the sound of Quinnie, so how about Winnie? It’s ahead of the curve and just adorable.

Xanthe
It’s got an X, but it doesn’t have an X sound – is that a problem? I think it sounds lovely with Cleo.

It sounds as if you really love both Edie and Quinn, and either one of those names could very well be your perfect choice. Even if a name seems to have a few little niggles, it’s best to follow your heart rather than look for something which looks perfect on paper, but doesn’t feel right.

Readers, what do you think of Edie or Quinn as a sister to Archer and Cleo? And what other names could be suitable?

UPDATE: The baby’s name was Edie!

POLL RESULT: Edie was the public’s top choice for the baby’s name, receiving 16% of the vote, and Eden, with the nickname Edie, was only just behind. Quinn received half as many votes, with 8%.

(Painting by Pino Daeni)

What Do You Think of Arrow as a Baby Name?

01 Saturday Nov 2014

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Arrow-Flying-Through-Air

Courtney and Joel are expecting a baby next month, and although they have agreed on a girl’s name together, are having more difficulty deciding on a name for a boy.

Courtney thinks of her name as “typically 1980s”, and has often had to share her name with someone in her classroom or workplace, so she likes the idea of her child having something a bit more unusual so they can have their name to themselves. However, Joel thinks that unusual names can be a burden for a child, and would prefer something reasonably common.

Meaning is extremely important to Courtney, and she wants the name to be relevant to their lives: they already have a son named Israel, which has a strong meaning, and reflects their faith.

Should they have another boy, Courtney’s choice for their son’s name is Arrow. She likes that it’s a unique name, and has connotations of strength; there are several Bible verses she likes about arrows, so that it would seem to be another name with a religious meaning. Joel worries that Arrow is just too different.

Courtney wants to know if Arrow is too unusual, and whether people think Israel and Arrow would work as a brotherly sibset?

* * * * * * * * * *

It’s the age old debate on baby names – should our children’s names make them stand out, or fit in? Most of us want something in the middle, and agonise over finding a name that manages to both stand out and fit in simultaneously.

And of course everyone has their own opinion on what makes a baby name “too unusual”. Some people think even Top 100 names are a little out there, while others think almost any name they’ve ever seen on a real person is “too common”.

Although you say that you and Joel are at odds when it comes to unusual names, it seems to me Joel must be fairly open-minded. You have a son named Israel, and that is not a common name in Australia – although it’s not unheard of, and famous people like Israel Folau give it plenty of publicity, I estimate there would be less than six Israels born in any state per year. That’s quite a low amount.

Perhaps Joel liked Israel because it’s a name from the Bible, with a history of many thousands of years, so that everyone has heard of Israel, even if they don’t know anyone with the name. Maybe it hit a sweet spot, so that Israel was neither too common for you, nor too strange for Joel.

Arrow is even less common than Israel, but it’s not unheard of as a baby name. I have seen a few children named Arrow, and it’s getting some use as a middle name – including Bobby Arrow, the son of radio host Tim Ross. The name does have some history, being used since the 18th century, and can be found in Australian historical records from the 19th century, although mostly as a middle name – there are only a couple of people with the first name Arrow.

To me, a name that is very rare is not necessarily a “weird” name. A couple of weeks ago, a blog reader named Michelle asked about two rare girls’ names her partner was keen on, Maida and Maeva. I have seen even less children with these names than those called Arrow (in fact, I’ve seen exactly zero babies named Maida or Maeva), but they fit in really well with current trends in girls names, and would not seem strange amongst classmates named Maeve, Mia, Maya, and Mae.

That’s a good way to get a baby name that’s both uncommon but not too strange – find one that is in rare use, but fits in with contemporary name trends. It may get attention for being out of the ordinary, but hopefully most people will find it refreshing rather than confronting. Could Arrow be one of those rare-yet-on-trend names?

I think Arrow fits in with the trends rather well. From the bounding popularity of Archer, and solid performance of Fletcher (maybe even Beau, which sounds like Bow), it would seem that names connected with archery are on the rise. Furthermore names connected with weaponry in general are doing extremely well, because I regularly see boys (and occasionally girls) with names like Hunter, Gunner, Colt, Blade, Gauge, Bowie, Sabre, and Steele.

I’m a bit skittish about the trend for “weapons as baby names”, but Arrow seems much more than just a weapon. It’s connected to tales of derring-do, like Robin Hood and William Tell, and romance, because of Cupid’s arrows of love. It’s also a superhero name because of the Green Arrow – another hot baby name trend, and in the public consciousness because of the television series, Arrow.

And you are drawn to Arrow for reasons of faith, because arrows are mentioned in the Bible, where it describes “the Lord’s arrow of victory”, which “will flash like lightning”. In the Bible, arrows often symbolise the judgement of God. Arrows also symbolise having a clear direction to follow, swiftness and protection, and also mental alertness and toughness.

The name Arrow is on trend because of its sound too – names starting with Ar- are very fashionable, as witnessed by Archer, Ari, Ariel, Aria, Ariana, Aryan, Arthur, and Arlo. Names ending with an O sound are fashionable too, like Hugo, Indigo, Django, Marlowe, and Arlo again. Arrow doesn’t sound that much different to Arlo, when you think about it.

One of the reasons that makes simple English vocabulary names easy to bear is that everyone knows how to spell and pronounce them; unless you fiddle around with the spelling, there’s no headache involved. People might be surprised by the name Arrow, but there’s no cumbersome explanations necessary.

I think Israel and Arrow work really well as brothers. They’re both unusual names that are still very familiar, at least as a nation and a noun. They’re strong and meaningful, and Arrow really takes Israel is an interesting direction, while Israel possibly makes it clearer that Arrow has been chosen for biblical reasons.

So to me Arrow is not too strange as a name, and I briefly mentioned it on the blog as a name which seemed as if it had a lot of potential. But what about Joel – could Arrow ever hit his sweet spot the way that Israel did?

UPDATE: The baby’s name was Gabriel!

POLL RESULTS
84% of people polled believed that Arrow wasn’t too unusual a name to use on a baby. 34% thought it was a bit unusual, but people would soon get used to it, while 19% admitted the name was too unusual for them to use, but that they would find it interesting on someone else’s child. 10% thought it was a very unusual name, but they considered that positive, as it made the name cool and different, and another 10% didn’t think it was really that unusual, as it fitted in so well with current name trends. 11% didn’t think Arrow was unusual in the least. 10% thought that Arrow probably was too unusual, as they couldn’t imagine it on a real person, while 6% thought it was a really weird name.

81% of people polled were in favour of Israel and Arrow as a sibset. 37% thought it was okay, 26% thought it was a good choice that worked well, while 18% saw it as a perfect match. 14% thought it wasn’t so good, and might need a rethink, while 5% considered it a complete mismatch.

Urgent Name Help Needed: They’re Completely Stressed About Their Big Baby Name Mess!

20 Saturday Sep 2014

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The Situation
Charlotte and Jake have been blessed with a beautiful daughter, and they couldn’t be happier – except that she was born seven weeks ago and they still haven’t decided on a name for her. Charlotte was relieved to read on the blog that no terrible fate awaits parents who don’t make the 60 day registration deadline, but they still need to choose a name as soon as possible.

During the pregnancy they considered the names Myrtle, Elsie, Rosie, Mabel, Maeve, Mae, Agnes, Florence, Iris, Ida, Fern, and Pearl. Jake’s #1 choice for the name is Rosie, which Charlotte isn’t that keen on, while he completely vetoed Pearl. During the name process, Jake went off Iris and Ida.

Just before the birth, their short list of front runners was:
* Myrtle
* Agnes
* Elsie
* Mabel
* Rosie

How the Problem Started
As Charlotte was wheeled off to recover after giving birth, she and Jake were in complete agreement: the baby’s name was Elsie. Charlotte was sure she was an Elsie, and told the doctor that was her daughter’s name. Meanwhile, Jake was telling all the nurses they had chosen the name Elsie.

Unfortunately, Charlotte couldn’t bring herself to commit to Elsie because of a family issue. Elsie is the name of a family member, no longer in the land of the living, that Charlotte didn’t know or have contact with. However, other family members who did know Elsie didn’t get along with her, and weren’t pleased at the prospect of another Elsie in the family.

The baby came home without a name, and Jake was annoyed, believing they should have just stuck with the name Elsie.

Everyone Has an Opinion!
Jake and Charlotte have an older daughter called Olive, and Olive instantly recognised the baby as Myrtle, and called her such. However, Jake and Charlotte had already decided she definitely wasn’t a Myrtle.

Mostly Jake and Charlotte have been calling their daughter Mabel since she was born, and Charlotte is getting a strong emotional attachment to it. However, Charlotte also reasons that if Mabel was such a good name, wouldn’t they have committed to it by now?

Furthermore, they have shared the name Mabel with others, and received extremely negative reactions to it. They’ve been told it’s an awful name, a cow’s name, a scullery maid’s name, and an elderly relative said they could call the baby anything they wanted – but not Mabel.

Charlotte loves the name Fern, but this has resulted in people “pulling faces” when the idea is floated past them. She also worries that Olive and Fern are too botanical together, and wonders if Fern really has vintage charm, or is it actually a hippie name? She also wonders if Maeve really has that vintage feel as well.

Everyone loves the name Rosie, but Charlotte thinks of it as a “dog name”, and a bit too common.

What Charlotte and Jake Want
* Ideally, a vintage-style name
* A soft, beautiful name to suit their gentle, placid daughter
* A name that isn’t a “burden”
* Jake likes names that have a nickname

Current Name List

* Elsie (Charlotte is still concerned about the family issue, and isn’t sure about the -ie ending)
* Mabel
* Maeve
* Fern
* Martha
* Maggie
* Alice
* Nora
* Edith or Edie (Charlotte not keen)
* Mae (too short, but maybe a nickname for Mabel or Maeve?)
* Agnes, Ida, and Rosie are still in the mix and seem usable, although Jake has gone off Agnes

Middle names they are considering are Birdie, Josephine, and Rose. Charlotte quite fancies Birdie as a short form of Brigid (and it could be her name for everyday use), Jake really loves the thought of an Elsie Josephine, and the Rose is a sop to Jake, so that he can still have the option of calling his daughter Rosie as a nickname.

Where They Are Now
Going around and around in circles and getting stressed and anxious. Charlotte can’t let go of any of the names, and has been through the complete register of all births from 1880 to 1920 to find fresh name inspiration. The 60 day deadline expires next week ….

* * * * * * * * * *

Goodness, you two have got yourself in a real pickle, haven’t you?

This is the fourth time on the blog I have heard of a couple having trouble choosing a baby name after the birth – three of you have written in, and one was a news story. What you all have in common is that other people have become involved in the baby naming process, and in each case, this wasn’t the slightest bit of help, and turned the whole thing into a huge drama that went on for weeks.

You both chose the name Elsie, which I think is a beautiful name which sounds lovely with Olive, and with your surname, and pretty much ticked all your boxes, being vintage, and soft-sounding, and nicknamey. It sounds as if you would have happily come home with a baby called Elsie if not for the opinions of family members.

I tend to agree with Jake – I think you should have just named her Elsie, and announced that as her name. Despite the family disagreement, I don’t think it would have taken them more than a few minutes (a few weeks for anyone of exceptional stubborness) to realise that the Elsie they didn’t care for is gone forever and will never bother them again, while little baby Elsie is a completely separate person and utterly sweet and delightful in every way.

That’s another problem with choosing a baby name several weeks after the birth. Your heart is bursting with love for your daughter, and every minute you fall more and more in love with her. And each day she’s getting cuter and cuter, developing winning little ways and adorable baby quirks. No name is going to seem good enough for her, and a great enough expression of your love, and if you wait until she’s giggling and cooing, you’ll be toast.

You look down at her and think, “Oh she’s such a beautiful baby, so soft and gentle and placid and cuddly and happy. We need an extra specially soft and beautiful and cuddly and happy name for her”. But what name is ever going embody that unique combination of beauty and softness and gentleness and placidity and happiness to your perfect satisfaction?

And she’s so tiny and perfect and fragile and defenceless that you can’t bear the thought of anyone poking fun of her name, and every name you consider seems to have a hidden trap in it. Of course you don’t want her to grow up in a family where people say, “The last Elsie in the family wasn’t very nice”, or amongst friends who say, “Mabel sounds like a cow”, or pull a face when they hear her name. The more time you think about it, the more every name will seem as if it has tease potential.

Also the longer you wait, the more you feel under pressure to come up with something amazing. It will seem ridiculous that it took you three months to pick the name Elsie Josephine or Mabel Rose or Fern Maeve. You have to drop the idea that there’s a perfect name out there that will match your daughter’s personality with exqusisite taste, silence all criticism, be utterly tease-immune, and make everyone think, “Oh well no wonder it took them all this time to find a name that good”.

I have two main pieces of advice for you, and even if you ignore everything else, please please please PLEASE follow these two things in the headline.

1. Nobody Else Gets to Name Your Baby Girl
It’s time the committee meetings on what to call the baby come to a complete halt. Other people haven’t helped, and have made you second guess all the names you’re considering. I feel absolutely furious that people have been so rude about the names you like, and I agree it’s absolutely none of their business. On the other hand – why did you ask?

You worry that their opinions show what your daughter will have to face in the future, yet, being extremely blunt, some of these people will have passed on by the time your daughter reaches adulthood, and your colleagues aren’t going to be part of her life (they won’t even be part of your life forever).

In any case, asking a ton of people for their opinions is a waste of time. The kind of names that  won’t be criticised are ones like Amelia Mae, Chloe Elizabeth or Olivia Grace – “safe” names. And besides, if you were going to pick a name based on what other people approve of, Charlotte would have agreed to Rosie – Jake’s favourite name, which everyone else likes, including me. But none of that matters, because Charlotte doesn’t really like it.

Baby name discussions should only be held between the two of you, in private. Don’t ask other people for their opinions, and if they offer them, just say something like, “Thank you, we’ll have to think that one over”. Don’t let people see that the process is getting you stressed, because that’s an opportunity for them to “help” you. If they ask how the baby name choosing is going, smile brightly and say, “Oh we’re nearly there – we’ll be announcing the name soon”.

If they make a comment about how long it’s taking, say something like, “I know the time we’re taking must seem a little silly to an outsider”, then change the subject at once. That lets them know that it’s no big deal, and puts them firmly on the outside – and the bigger fuss they make, the more of an outsider they become. It’s a polite way of letting them know it’s none of their concern.

2. Your Name List Should Be Getting Shorter, Not Longer!
I’m bewildered as to how you had five names on your name list before going to hospital, and now you have around fifteen. I know you said that you were having trouble letting go of the names, but you’re still adding to your name list, which means you’ll never pick a name at this rate. You’ve even put names that have been vetoed back on the list!

You’ve got to stop thinking up more names, and just stick to what you’ve got. That means no getting out of the shower with a great name you thought up while shampooing your hair, no wondering if a name you vetoed is really that bad and could still be considered, and definitely no going through four decades of birth registers!

Let’s see what names could be trimmed:

Elsie – I think this name has been ruined for Charlotte by her family’s interference, and she’s gone off it because it’s too much like Rosie.
Rosie – Charlotte thinks it’s a dog name, and too common. I disagree, but to heck with me, it’s not my baby.
Maggie – I’m getting the feeling Charlotte isn’t mad about two syllable names ending with -ie. And Maggie is actually a common name for dogs, so if Rosie is out for those reasons, then Maggie should be triply out.
Edith and Edie – Charlotte doesn’t like them.
Mae – you both agreed it’s too short.
Agnes – Jake has gone off it.
Ida – Jake has gone off it.
Iris – Jake has gone off it
Florence – neither has vetoed it, but you never mentioned it again either, so you can’t be that keen

And what’s left:

Maeve, possibly nn Mae
I think it’s a beautiful name, but you did wonder if it sounded vintage, and I don’t think it really sounds vintage at all – it’s only come into common use in Australia quite recently.

Fern
I love the name Fern too, and although some people might see it as hippie, it was quite popular in the late 19th century, mostly in the middle. It does sound botanical with Olive, if that’s an issue. Blog contributor Madelyn suggested Fern as a nickname for Frances – could something like that work?

Martha
This is a very dignified name, and I think it does have that gentle image you were after – although it also seems strong. Very much in line with British name trends too.

Alice
I think this is bang on for beautiful, soft and sweet, and a nice match with Olive, but if you wanted to get technical, it’s a classic rather than a vintage choice. It seems like a great replacement for Elsie – it’s got a vaguely similar sound, without being so alike that it brings back memories of Elsie (as Elsa would, for example).

Nora
Very hip choice, excellent match with Olive, well ahead of the trends. I wonder if it might be too nicknamey for Charlotte’s taste though. If so, what about Eleanor, nn Nora?

Mabel
This just leaves Mabel, which seems like the obvious choice. It’s beautiful, soft and sweet but still spunky; it literally means “lovable”; it’s vintage-style; it makes an awesome match with Olive; it sounds adorable with your surname, and it’s the name you are already calling her, and have taught Olive to call her.

You’ve said that you’re getting emotionally attached to Mabel, which makes me think that you may have already chosen it without quite admitting it to yourselves. You say that the fact that you haven’t committed to it yet shows it can’t really be that great, but you haven’t given yourselves a chance to.

I know other people have been critical about Mabel, but there’s a good reason for that – you’re slightly ahead of the trends, because Mabel only came back on the charts in the 2000s, and it’s not zooming up in a bothersomely trendy way, but remaining fairly stable. People just aren’t used to it yet because it’s so fresh. And your friend who thinks it’s a scullery maid name? Hasn’t she been watching Downton Abbey – doesn’t she know that “scullery maid names” are hot right now?

I love both the middle names you have picked out, and I think Mabel Birdie Rose is utterly, utterly lovely. It gives you the option of calling her either Mae, Birdie, or Rosie for everyday, and luckily you don’t have to register nicknames so you can take as long as you want to decide which one (or use all three if you want – there’s no law on nicknames!)

If it was up to me, I’d say Mabel Birdie Rose. But it’s not up to me – it’s your privilege to name your daughter, and no one else’s. So what will it be?

NAME UPDATE: The baby’s name was Mabel!

POLL RESULT: The overwhelming choice of the public was Mabel, which received more than 50% of the vote.

Should They Pick Eva or Ivy? And What Do You Think About Lulu?

30 Saturday Aug 2014

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Anne and Kenneth are expecting a baby girl in a few weeks, and as Anne has had some pregnancy complications, there is a possibility the baby could come early. Apart from her other concerns, she’s worried that they are running out of time to choose a baby name. Anne and Ken already have a son named Will.

After lengthy discussions, the only names Anne and Ken have agreed on are Eva and Ivy. Anne likes pretty, feminine names that have a cute nickname attached. That’s why Eva seems like a good option, because both Anne and Ken like the short form Evie, but want a formal name for it. Anne loves Ivy, but doesn’t like that it has no nickname – just as Will’s name doesn’t. It’s not a deal-breaker, but it does mean that she’s still considering other options.

Ken has always liked Lily, but it’s too similar to Will in sound to consider using. However, they like the idea of using it as a middle name for Eva – Eva Lily.

Other names Anne likes that have been vetoed by Ken:

Everly
Luella
Audrey
Layla
Sybella

Names that Ken likes which have been vetoed by Anne:

Aerin (because the spelling will need constant explanation)
Georgina (the name of a friend’s daughter)
Lily (clashes with Will)
Harper (Anne worries it’s a short-term name trend)

Both Anne and Ken like the name Lulu, but don’t think they could use it as a formal name as it seems so youthful. That’s why Anne suggested Luella, but Ken doesn’t care for it.

Will has a family name for his middle name, and ideally Anne would like their daughter to have a family name in the middle as well. The problem is that there aren’t too many family names that really work with the names they are considering. Her mother’s nickname is Cally, which might work, while her sister’s middle name, Elizabeth, seems like a possibility. Another family name under consideration is Amy. Anne hates her own name, both first and middle, and definitely doesn’t want it used.

However, Anne’s willing to give up on the idea of a family name if it doesn’t work out. She also wonders what people think about using two middle names?

Some name combinations she likes with Ivy are:

Ivy Lulu
Ivy Harper
Ivy Luella
Ivy Elizabeth

Neither Anne or Ken are happy with their own names, which is why they are so anxious to get their daughter’s name right. Their surname begins with C and ends with L eg Caldwell.

* * * * * * * * * *

Anne, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had pregnancy complications, but try not to add running out of time to your list of worries. We get a really generous amount of time (60 days) to register a baby’s name in Australia after the birth, so nobody should need to feel panicked about finding a baby name.

And it sounds as if you and Ken are making great progress – you’ve agreed on Eva and Ivy, and you’ve both agreed that you like Lulu as a nickname, but would need a formal name for it. That gives you two definite front-runners, and the possibility of having a “Lulu-providing” name.

Eva Lily seems absolutely perfect for you, as it has a nickname, Evie, that you both like, and you can also use Ken’s choice of Lily in the middle, while Ivy Lily is problematic. Eva sounds lovely with your surname, and seems like a natural sister to Will. Eva was featured on the blog earlier this year, and was judged by voters as a stylish classic, feminine but not frilly, beautiful or pretty, and easy to spell and pronounce. That’s a big thumbs up from the public, and a thumbs up from me as well.

Although Ivy doesn’t have a nickname, I notice that you write that you LOVE the name Ivy, while you say that you LIKE Eva. Now maybe you didn’t want to keep using the same word to describe your feelings for each name, but that was enough to make me pause.

I wonder whether you prefer Ivy to Eva, and it’s the lack of a nickname that is stopping you from committing to it? Because if you’re a naturally nicknamey person, it seems as if almost child can have a nickname, no matter what it has on the birth certificate. I know a little girl named Mary-Ann, and she goes by … Sunny! Because has such a sunny smile. Nicknames don’t have to come from the name, they can be bestowed for any number of reasons.

Apologies if I’m reading too much into this, but Ivy is also a lovely name that sounds nice with your surname, and seems like it could easily be Will’s sister. And if Eva ends up being Evie most of the time, there really isn’t a lot of difference between Evie and Ivy.

I like the middle names you are considering for Ivy. Ivy Elizabeth is a nice way to honour your sister, and Elizabeth has tons of nickname options if you wanted a nickname – including Lily, and at a small stretch, Lulu. There was a celebrity baby named Ivy Elizabeth this year, which got a “perfect” rating from more than 60% of the public. Ivy Lillian also occurs to me. Ivy Harper is fresh and modern, but doesn’t sound quite right to me – maybe because it makes me picture someone trying to play the harp on a clump of ivy …

Ivy Luella seems like a good compromise with Ken (in the same way Eva Lily is a compromise on his name choice), and naturally gives you a Lulu nickname. Ivy Lulu is even more straightforward, if you can both agree on it as a middle name. I’m sure you’ve already thought of these, but names such as Lucinda, Louisa, Luna, and Eloise could also give the nickname Lulu, either at the front or in the middle.

I think Lulu is one of those cute nicknames that can be given simply as a mark of affection, like Mimi or Coco or Bunny. If you’re both really keen on Lulu, but can’t agree on a name which leads to Lulu, why not use it anyway? Ivy, nickname “Lulu”? Short for “Love u little ‘un” or anything you like, really!

As far as using two middle names, I’m totally in favour if it makes everything easier for you. For example, suppose you weren’t 100% happy with Ivy Elizabeth, or with Ivy Harper, but Ivy Elizabeth Harper just sounded perfect to you. Or you felt that Eva Lily was too short, but Eva Lily Amabel was a lovely balance, and also honoured Amy, or Ivy Luella Amabel gave you the option of Lulu Belle as a nickname, which idea pleased you. Then two middle names make perfect sense.

But if trying to co-ordinate two middle names and choose a first name as well stresses you out and makes you more anxious about everything, then forget about it. Keep it simple – and sometimes two middle names does actually simplify things.

Basically this what you have to do now:

– Choose between Eva nn “Evie” and Ivy. Focus on which one you love more, rather than which one seems most convenient.
– Possibly decide how committed you are to using Lulu, and think of ways you could get there, such as by middle name, or just using it because you want to. Don’t be afraid to be creative.
– Choose a middle name, or two middle names, to go with the name of your choice. If slotting a family name in causes you too much of a headache, then by all means don’t worry about it. I guarantee that in later life Will won’t be taunting his younger sister with, “I’ve got a family name as my middle name, and you’ve only got a middle name mum and dad really liked that co-ordinates well with your first name, so nyah, nyah nyah!”

That’s pretty much it. And there’s no real reason why you have to lock in all these decisions before your daughter is born. If you have a pretty good idea of the two or three names you will probably end up choosing between, the final decision can be made at the hospital, or even after taking her home and getting to know her for a bit. There’s a chance you’ll look at her and immediately know she’s an Eva and not an Ivy, or an Ivy and not an Evie, and if that doesn’t happen, then you’re still pretty much on track.

I know you don’t want your daughter to dislike her name, and although I can’t promise anything in that regard, you’re not making any obvious errors that I can see. Both names you are considering are pretty and stylish, and I don’t think her life is going to be any different whether you choose Eva or Ivy. In fact, they are so equally good, you could probably toss a coin over this.

I have no doubt at all that if you went into labour right this second, you would have very little drama in choosing a baby name once she was born. And if the worst happens, and you take her home and still can’t choose, write in to the blog again and we’ll have an emergency baby naming brainstorm!

UPDATE: The baby’s name was Ivy!

POLL RESULTS: The public were evenly divided between Ivy and Eva, with 50% of the vote going to both. Their choice for a middle name with Ivy was Ivy Elizabeth, which gained 60% of the vote – more than twice as much as the next name combination.

As far as the nickname Lulu went, 52% of people thought you needed a name such as Lucinda or Louisa to be nicknamed Lulu, 23% thought that it could be a nickname which had no relation to the name on the birth certificate, 19% thought that Lulu could be a nickname which came from the middle name, and 7% thought that the first name needed to be only vaguely alike, such as Elizabeth or Lillian, in order to receive the nickname Lulu.

(Picture is a poster for the Little Lulu TV show)