Tag Archives: Births Deaths and Marriages

Changing a Baby’s Name Due to Name Regret

29 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in Naming Assistance

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Scarlett has written in to the blog before, as she and her partner Toby had a terrible time choosing a name for their daughter, who is just about to have her first birthday.

They were very close to choosing Eva, and Eve was also high on the list, but in the end they went with Evelyn. Scarlett can no longer remember why they picked Evelyn; the whole thing is a blur in her memory, and they hastily scribbled the name down on the registration form in a state of blind panic. Neither of them loved the name Evelyn, but neither of them hated it either, so it seemed a safe choice.

Ever since then, it has felt strange for Scarlett to call her daughter Evelyn, and every day she agonises over the choice, feeling she made the wrong decision. She hoped the name would grow on her, and that she would get used to it, but it hasn’t happened. The naming process itself was so stressful and even traumatic that it “tainted” the name Evelyn for her.

Friends and family members tend to call Evelyn “Evie” for short, and Scarlett is now considering changing her daughter’s name to Eve. She loves the fact that Eve is short and easy to spell, internationally well-recognised, and has a beautiful meaning – “life”. On the other hand, Evelyn doesn’t mean anything to her, and serves as a reminder of a deeply unhappy time.

Toby is considering agreeing to the change, but hasn’t made up his mind. Scarlett remains quite hopeful though, because Eve was originally on his own list of favourite names.

Some people have advised Scarlett to keep the name Evelyn, and just call her daughter Eve, but Scarlett doesn’t want to do that. She feels that Eve and Evelyn are completely different names, and don’t even sound alike.

Scarlett doesn’t think changing the name is a big deal as it’s just dropping three letters, and most people call her Evie anyway. She thinks others will quickly adjust with minimal fuss, and she’d rather change the name than spend the rest of her life fretting over it. Toby on the other hand worries that everyone will think they are crazy to go through a formal change rather than simply announcing that they will be calling their daughter Eve from now on, even though Evelyn is on the birth certificate.

Scarlett wonders how common it is to change a baby’s name, and would love to hear from anyone who has been through the process, or is an adult who had their name changed during infancy or childhood. Are there are any problems it could lead to, and will their daughter have to constantly refer back to her original name when seeking or showing identification?

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You seem to have a very clear-cut case of baby name regret – not just a few wistful thoughts about that favourite name that couldn’t be used, or the odd moment of wondering if you could have chosen something else, but deep unhappiness every day for almost a year. You know that you didn’t choose the name in the right mindset, or under ideal circumstances. A name change seems like a good idea, and as your daughter is nearly a year old, a decision that shouldn’t be delayed for much longer.

I agree with you that this seems like a very simple change, one that shouldn’t inconvenience people or cause mass confusion. In fact, most people have said they support such a change: they just don’t see why you should go to the bother of making it official. It’s even more straightforward, because Evelyn isn’t a name that Toby loves. It sounds as if Eve was a name you both liked, and perhaps should have chosen in the first place (and maybe would have, if you both weren’t feeling so pressured and miserable).

I can’t see any reason why the name change would be refused by Births, Deaths and Marriages, and in New South Wales you are permitted three name changes of a child as long as it hasn’t been twelve months since the last name change. It will cost you $174 to change the name, and a further $44 to have a new birth certificate issued, which I think is probably a good idea.

I’m putting a link to the form for change of name so you can see all the things you have to do. You need to provide plenty of identification, and to explain the reason for the name change in some detail.

The main thing is that both parents have to be on board with the name change, so you need Toby’s consent. It sounds as if he does agree to the change of name, he just fears the potential social embarrassment of making it official. However, I think people will get over it pretty easily, and there’s nothing “crazy” or abnormal about changing your baby’s name. To me it makes sense to have the change made official, as I think it will cause fewer administrative mix-ups in the future.

I know I would hate to have a name that my mother disliked or which made her unhappy, even if nobody called me that in everyday life, so try to see things from your daughter’s point of view when she is older. I don’t think she will need to refer to her change of name in future, since it would be done while she is just a baby, but check with the BDM staff just to be sure.

I can’t give you the numbers for how many people in Australia change their child’s name, but according to Baby Center, one in eight parents surveyed had experienced baby name regret, so it isn’t anything particularly unusual. Most people who change their child’s name are glad they did, and it’s a way of settling the name worries once and for all – you don’t want to still be thinking or talking about this a year from now.

NAME UPDATE: Scarlett and Toby changed their daughter’s name from Evelyn to Eve!

Name News Round-Up

16 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in Names in the News

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Banned Baby Names

It was reported in The Age last month that the state of Victoria is banning baby names under the Births, Deaths and Marriages Act. This isn’t actually news in the sense of new information – that’s been the situation everywhere in Australia since the mid-1990s, with all states following more or less the same guidelines. It is a reminder that Births Deaths and Marriages has the discretion to reject names that are deemed unsuitable – however, the newspaper report failed to mention that parents can appeal the decision, and appeals have been successful in the past. Names rejected in Victoria included Lord, Princess, Princess Di and Prince (titles), Fireman Sam (trademark), Tit (offensive), and also Glory Hallelujah, New Covernant, Wonderful Beautiful, Anarchy, and Honest Mary, which seem to be Victoria’s idea of unsuitable. Pepper, Jazz, Reef, and Texan Gamble all made the cut however.

The Sunshine Coast Daily reported that “quirky” names were being banned in Victoria. The article said rather smugly that parents were free to choose any name they want in Queensland, whether it be pop culture Khaleesi or traditional Francis Xavier. That seems idiotic, as Khaleesi is allowed in Victoria too – it’s a title, but a fictional one, and not in English – although it’s not as popular as in Queensland. Queensland has the same naming regulations as the rest of Australia, but while the article was smug and silly, there was a grain of truth behind it, because names seem to be very rarely disallowed in Queensland, and it does have a more relaxed naming culture. Moral of the story: if you yearn for a kookier baby name, you are better off moving to Queensland than Victoria.

Radio Audience Help Choose Baby Name

Melbourne’s first baby of 2014 was born at 12.34 am on January 1 at the Royal Women’s Hospital to professional dancers Bessie and George Awad. The Awads couldn’t decide between their three favourite names of Indiana, Marley, and Summer, so they threw it open to listeners of radio station 3AW and its Twitter followers. Indiana was by far the most popular choice of the public, and this was the name they went with. Indiana was also the choice of dad George, who chose it because he thought his baby daughter “looked like a little Pocahontas” (not the most politically correct name story!). Bessie says the name suits Indiana. By the way, don’t you love mum and dad’s names – Bessie and George, adorable.

Baby Name Trends of 2014

Practical Parenting magazine had a slideshow of baby name trends to watch for in 2014, including old fashioned names, boys names for girls, surnames-as-first-names, and literary names. They also gave their predictions of which names would rise this year, and with so many guesses that at least a few of them will be correct.

When Rafael Became Rafferty

Comedian Dave Hughes has been on the blog a couple of times because of his delightfully named children Rafferty, Sadie and Tess – Tess Clementine was even voted the public’s favourite celebrity baby name last year. In an interview this year [story expired] Dave revealed that the first choice for his son’s name was Rafael. Even though this isn’t uncommon in Australia, Dave felt that they weren’t Spanish enough to pull off having a Rafael, so went with Rafferty instead. It’s interesting to wonder what would have happened if they’d gone with Rafael – would they have had two girls named Sadie and Tess? My guess is no: it’s interesting to see how the choice of the first child’s name can influence your other children’s’ names.

An Australian Name in America

A rare set of identical triplets were born in California, named Abby, Laurel and Brindabella – who made their way into the Birth Announcements here. The triplets’ dad is originally from Canberra in the ACT, where the Brindabellas form a mountain range to the west. He spent a lot of time exploring the mountains, and discovering a love of nature – he and his wife were married in the mountains in 2007, when they wed on top of Mount Franklin. Brindabella was named after the mountains of her dad’s home town, and although it sounds unusual next to her sisters, Brin or Bella will excite little excitement. Brindabella either means “two kangaroo rats” in the local language or “water running over rocks” with a European -bella added to mean “beautiful”.

True Blue 

Business Insider reported on websites which allow people to connect for the purposes of co-parenting. They aren’t dating websites, but provide an opportunity for single people who want children to match up so they can start a family together. The story featured Australian man Fabian Blue, who has moved to Nebraska in the United States to be with his co-parent, Dawn Pieke, and they have a one-year-old daughter together named Indigo. While Indigo is a common name in Australia, Indigo Blue has a nice ring to it.

Name Inspired By Royal Visit

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have just arrived in Australia, and 60 years ago Queen Elizabeth made her own royal tour. Dorothy Williams remembers the day that the queen came to Bendigo in regional Victoria, because she was in hospital after having given birth to a baby girl. The hospital beds were placed close to the window so that patients could see the queen being driven through the hospital gates. Dorothy named her daughter Pamela after Pamela Mountbatten, the queen’s lady-in-waiting. Lady Pamela is a first cousin of Prince Philip, and was a bridesmaid at his wedding to Queen Elizabeth. In 1954, Pamela was the #12 girls name in Victoria, just one place behind Elizabeth. I wonder how many of the 426 Pamelas were named after Lady Pamela, and how many of the 429 Elizabeths were named for the queen?

They First Met in the Local Birth Notices

I read a lot of birth notices, including from the Port Lincoln Times, so was interested to see this story about Olivia Fairclough. She and her twin sister Belinda were born on October 8 1975, and while researching softball history in the local paper, Olivia happened to come across their original birth notice, published October 16 1975. To her amazement, she saw that her husband’s birth notice was published below it – Martin Sheridan was born on October 9 1975 in Western Australia, but his grandparents in Port Lincoln announced the birth in their home town. He later moved to Port Lincoln, and he and Olivia have been married for five years. Keep a copy of the birth notices for the day your baby’s birth is announced: their future spouse may be in it.

Should She Change the Spelling of Her Daughter’s Name?

26 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by in Naming Assistance

≈ 13 Comments

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U1264Laura has a five-month-old daughter named Lijsbeth, which is a traditional Dutch spelling of the name Lisbet, and is pronounced LEES-bet.

Few people have been able to pronounce Lijsbeth’s name, and even her Australian grandparents haven’t been able to learn to say it properly. Laura is getting heartily sick of having to correct people all the time, and feels bad for her daughter that nobody knows how to say her name – especially as Lijsbeth’s big sister has a very simple, straightforward name (for example, Katie). She has started telling people to just call Lijsbeth by the nickname Bessie, even though Laura doesn’t particularly care for this name.

Since her daughter was born, Laura has learned from a Dutch cousin that the spelling Lijsbeth is considered so old-fashioned in the Netherlands that even Dutch people would have trouble pronouncing it.

Laura is starting to think it might be a good idea to officially change the spelling of her daughter’s name, probably to Lisbet (said the same way as Lijsbeth), although she’s not completely sure. She still wants her baby girl to have a Dutch name with Dutch pronunciation, like Lisbet, but she’s worried it won’t be said properly.

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This is the first time someone has written in to the blog having already named their baby, but not completely satisfied with the results.

I think that if you want to change the spelling of your daughter’s name, then you’ve got good reasons for wanting to do so. In just five months you’ve already run into issues, and if you’re fed up with constantly correcting people after this brief period, you have to remember that Lijsbeth has a lifetime of it ahead of her.

Not only that, but you’ve also discovered that her Dutch name, chosen to honour her heritage, would be a curiosity and a stumbling block even in the Netherlands. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to use the modern Dutch spelling instead.

I think Lisbet is much simpler to spell than Lijsbeth, but I’m not sure it would solve the pronunciation issues, because they are said exactly the same way. I don’t actually think LEES-bet is that hard to say, once you’ve learned how, but explaining it to everyone is probably a pain.

Luckily, you only have to register the spelling of a baby’s name, not its pronunciation, so I would just concentrate on the spelling for now, and worry about pronunciation later. Changing the spelling might make it easier for people to understand; you may become more relaxed about people’s attempts to say the name correctly; it’s possible that in time you will decide to compromise on how the name is said. I would just put that issue to one side for now and see what happens.

I think your idea of using a nickname for everyday use is a brilliant one, but what a shame you don’t like your daughter’s nickname. Is there something else you could use instead? Lisa, Leesie, Libby, Libsy, Lili, Lilbet, Itsy, Issy, Betty, Betsy, Bitsy, Bibi, Biddie, Birdie …. ?

As your daughter gets older, she will probably develop her own ideas about how she’d like her name to be pronounced, and what nickname she would prefer. Our names do often evolve and change with us, and she may come home from kinder one day and announce that her nickname is Lissy, because that’s what all the other kids call her.

The good news is that it is relatively easy to officially change your child’s name (or its spelling) before it is 12 months old. My understanding is that in the first year, it’s not considered a legal name change, but simply an amendment to the birth certificate. That means that whatever the original name was, it will simply be wiped from the records as if it had never existed.

Each state and territory has different rules, but in some states it is free, and in others you will have to pay a nominal administrative fee. Just like registering the name for the first time, both parents must sign the certificate at Births, Deaths and Marriages, and once you have the new birth certificate, you’ll have to change her details with Medicare, Centrelink, the doctor’s office, and anywhere else that has her name in their database. A bit of paperwork to fill in, but that’s about it.

You may also want to send a mass e-mail to everyone you know, briefly explaining you’ve changed the spelling of your daughter’s name to something simpler, but that the pronunciation will stay the same. This could also be an opportunity to let them know that a nickname of your choice can be used instead.

It is important that you are absolutely sure that you want to do this, that you know exactly which spelling you want to use, and that both parents are completely on board with it. It’s really something you don’t want to delay either, so I would get on to it as soon as you know what you want to do.

Good luck Laura, I’m sure you will be able to come up with a solution that makes life easier for you, and ultimately for your little girl as well. Write in again if you still feel unsure about it, or run into further issues down the track.

NOTE: In the end, Laura decided her daughter’s name didn’t need to be changed.

POLL RESULTS: Just over half of respondents voted that the baby’s name be changed to Lisbet. Nearly 18% voted for the spelling to be unchanged.

(Image from Embroidery Library)