Tag Archives: changing a baby’s name

Update: The Dawn of a New Eve

19 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by in Name Updates

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Scarlett wrote in to the blog as she was suffering from a severe case of baby name regret. She and her partner Toby had been through a very stressful time when naming their daughter about a year ago, and selected the name Evelyn in a muddled and miserable state.

Ever since, Scarlett has felt that the name Evelyn was ruined for her by the very process of choosing the name, and it never felt right to her. She wanted to change her daughter’s name to Eve – a small change that would be easy for others to adjust to. However, while Toby wasn’t against the idea, he worried that making the name change official could be embarrassing for them.

Since writing in to the blog, Scarlett and Toby have started calling their daughter Eve, and have sent away their application for a legal change of name to the birth registry. It has been an easy and natural transition, and for the first time, Scarlett is proud to introduce her daughter, instead of feeling shy and diffident when saying her name.

Scarlett has written in to say thank you for the support she received, and how wonderful that the situation has been resolved so easily. Naming mistakes can often be fixed, so if your baby’s name is making you desperately unhappy, there is something you can do about it.

Changing a Baby’s Name Due to Name Regret

29 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in Naming Assistance

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Scarlett has written in to the blog before, as she and her partner Toby had a terrible time choosing a name for their daughter, who is just about to have her first birthday.

They were very close to choosing Eva, and Eve was also high on the list, but in the end they went with Evelyn. Scarlett can no longer remember why they picked Evelyn; the whole thing is a blur in her memory, and they hastily scribbled the name down on the registration form in a state of blind panic. Neither of them loved the name Evelyn, but neither of them hated it either, so it seemed a safe choice.

Ever since then, it has felt strange for Scarlett to call her daughter Evelyn, and every day she agonises over the choice, feeling she made the wrong decision. She hoped the name would grow on her, and that she would get used to it, but it hasn’t happened. The naming process itself was so stressful and even traumatic that it “tainted” the name Evelyn for her.

Friends and family members tend to call Evelyn “Evie” for short, and Scarlett is now considering changing her daughter’s name to Eve. She loves the fact that Eve is short and easy to spell, internationally well-recognised, and has a beautiful meaning – “life”. On the other hand, Evelyn doesn’t mean anything to her, and serves as a reminder of a deeply unhappy time.

Toby is considering agreeing to the change, but hasn’t made up his mind. Scarlett remains quite hopeful though, because Eve was originally on his own list of favourite names.

Some people have advised Scarlett to keep the name Evelyn, and just call her daughter Eve, but Scarlett doesn’t want to do that. She feels that Eve and Evelyn are completely different names, and don’t even sound alike.

Scarlett doesn’t think changing the name is a big deal as it’s just dropping three letters, and most people call her Evie anyway. She thinks others will quickly adjust with minimal fuss, and she’d rather change the name than spend the rest of her life fretting over it. Toby on the other hand worries that everyone will think they are crazy to go through a formal change rather than simply announcing that they will be calling their daughter Eve from now on, even though Evelyn is on the birth certificate.

Scarlett wonders how common it is to change a baby’s name, and would love to hear from anyone who has been through the process, or is an adult who had their name changed during infancy or childhood. Are there are any problems it could lead to, and will their daughter have to constantly refer back to her original name when seeking or showing identification?

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You seem to have a very clear-cut case of baby name regret – not just a few wistful thoughts about that favourite name that couldn’t be used, or the odd moment of wondering if you could have chosen something else, but deep unhappiness every day for almost a year. You know that you didn’t choose the name in the right mindset, or under ideal circumstances. A name change seems like a good idea, and as your daughter is nearly a year old, a decision that shouldn’t be delayed for much longer.

I agree with you that this seems like a very simple change, one that shouldn’t inconvenience people or cause mass confusion. In fact, most people have said they support such a change: they just don’t see why you should go to the bother of making it official. It’s even more straightforward, because Evelyn isn’t a name that Toby loves. It sounds as if Eve was a name you both liked, and perhaps should have chosen in the first place (and maybe would have, if you both weren’t feeling so pressured and miserable).

I can’t see any reason why the name change would be refused by Births, Deaths and Marriages, and in New South Wales you are permitted three name changes of a child as long as it hasn’t been twelve months since the last name change. It will cost you $174 to change the name, and a further $44 to have a new birth certificate issued, which I think is probably a good idea.

I’m putting a link to the form for change of name so you can see all the things you have to do. You need to provide plenty of identification, and to explain the reason for the name change in some detail.

The main thing is that both parents have to be on board with the name change, so you need Toby’s consent. It sounds as if he does agree to the change of name, he just fears the potential social embarrassment of making it official. However, I think people will get over it pretty easily, and there’s nothing “crazy” or abnormal about changing your baby’s name. To me it makes sense to have the change made official, as I think it will cause fewer administrative mix-ups in the future.

I know I would hate to have a name that my mother disliked or which made her unhappy, even if nobody called me that in everyday life, so try to see things from your daughter’s point of view when she is older. I don’t think she will need to refer to her change of name in future, since it would be done while she is just a baby, but check with the BDM staff just to be sure.

I can’t give you the numbers for how many people in Australia change their child’s name, but according to Baby Center, one in eight parents surveyed had experienced baby name regret, so it isn’t anything particularly unusual. Most people who change their child’s name are glad they did, and it’s a way of settling the name worries once and for all – you don’t want to still be thinking or talking about this a year from now.

NAME UPDATE: Scarlett and Toby changed their daughter’s name from Evelyn to Eve!

Names Spotted at Home and Abroad, Spring 2013

14 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by in Names Spotted at Home and Abroad

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Rachel

I apologise for the extreme lateness of this entry – apart from being bulldozed by Christmas preparations, I have long been unsure about where to begin and end each season. However, I’ve made a decision, so hopefully will be better organised now.

A commercial site for weight loss after having a baby featured a client named Delight from the Northern Territory who had lost 22 kg on the program. Delight is one of the most interesting of virtue names, and one I have only seen before in old books. I think it’s pretty, but admit it does remind me of Turkish delight a little bit (not that that’s bad). Delight’s youngest daughter is named Halle.

South Grafton High School in New South Wales ran a Maybe Baby program for Community and Family Studies, where students took care of a simulated baby for three days and nights to show what’s involved in caring for an infant. One of the students, Selina, named her baby Wilfred – a top baby name of the future, perhaps? Other high schoolers were Briana, Lertisha, Cheyenne and Brielle. I would have loved to know what names they all chose.

Changing Names

The radio and television presenter Andrew Günsberg (best known from hosting Australian Idol), once nicknamed Spidey, and known by the stage name Andrew G, has changed his name to Osher Günsberg. He was advised by an Israeli shaman that he could change his life energy and life path by changing his name. The name he chose was that of the coolest dude he’d ever met, an Israeli cameraman. Since becoming Osher, he tells us that his life has changed completely, and he now believes that at last he has a name that feels right, and that he owns completely. Osher’s parents have both changed their first names too.

Blogger and editor Alana House relates that one of her Facebook pals had just realised she’d made a terrible mistake with her daughter’s name, and wonders if age two is too old to change her name. The friend’s surname is Nutter, and her daughter’s name is Mia. Uh oh. Alana points out that her own name is the tease-worthy A. House, and she’s grown to like it, so predicts that Mia Nutter will also cope. However, do say the full name out loud at least a few times before whacking it down on the registration form.

Stories on Honouring Names

A story from Ballarat on its fertility rate showed a woman named Vicky who had had a baby during Ballarat’s baby boom year of 2009 [pictured]. Her daughter is named Rachel Scarlett, and she is named after a doll that Vicky had as a little girl. The middle name, Scarlett, is from Gone with the Wind – which hypothetically could be her favourite book as a teen. If I named a daughter after my favourite doll and book character from childhood, her name would be Bridget Cassandra. What would yours be called?

A fun run to raise money for spinal muscular atrophy was held in Tasmania, with one of the participants baby Tylan, named in honour of his sister Taylin, who passed away from the disease several years ago. It’s a lovely way to connect him to the sister he will never meet.

A businessman described as a “traffic king” with the imposing name of Ron Conquest was named after his grandfather, and when his first son arrived this spring, he was also named Ron. Been seeing a lot of babies named Ron or Ronnie lately – but no Ronalds. Is Ron Burgundy making Ron cool? Mrs Conquest’s name is Rana, by the way.

Luke Douglas is a rugby league footballer for the Gold Coast Titans. His dad is named Archibald, and that is Luke’s middle name – I guess in the 1980s, Archibald was a no-go for a baby’s first name. However, I’m interested to see that Luke plans to name a future son Archibald to carry on the family tradition – Archibald is acceptable, now that it can shortened to popular Archie. A good reason to leave “unusable” family names in the middle, because they might be perfect for the next generation to carry on.

And a story from real life. I met a lady with a little girl named Poppy, who told me that her daughter was named after her grandfather. Slightly confused, I asked what grand-dad’s name had been, and she told me, “John. But we always called him Poppy” … I don’t think she knew what made me laugh, but she was perfectly good natured about it.

More Baby Names From Real Life

Kitana: A sexy princess video game character from Mortal Kombat. Could be shortened to Kit or Kitty.

Bly (for a boy): a surname meaning “blithe”; could be seen as a specifically masculine form of Blythe.

Brothers named Aurelius and Evander. Very grand.

A friend who still has small children tells me that at her local daycare centre, there are two boys named Odin, and a Loki. No Thors though. However, the big name for her area is Taylor, with three girls and two boys at daycare with the name. There’s also a Tyler (boy), and Tyla (girl).

Name Update: No Need for Change

21 Tuesday May 2013

Posted by in Name Updates

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560439_301491526625203_581050121_nA few months ago, Laura wrote in to the blog asking if she should change the spelling of her baby daughter’s name, which is Lijsbeth, pronounced LEES-bet. People had trouble pronouncing it, and Laura was getting so tired of correcting everyone that she wondered if changing the spelling might help.

After giving the matter a lot of thought, Laura decided not to change the spelling after all. They live in an area where there are many children with unusual names, and she didn’t think Lijsbeth’s name would really stand out in their neighbourhood.

Laura also talked to family and friends about the issue, and most of them said they liked Lijsbeth’s name, and didn’t want the spelling changed. Since then, they are making more effort to pronounce Lijsbeth’s name correctly.

Laura would be happy to change the name or the spelling if Lijsbeth herself has problems with it in the future, but she is going to leave that decision up to her daughter.

I think Laura has made a very wise decision, and also did the right thing to communicate with others that it was bothering her. It’s a good reminder to us to always try a bit harder if a child we know has a difficult-to-pronounce name, because as you can see, it can really stress parents out when we keep getting it wrong.

Should She Change the Spelling of Her Daughter’s Name?

26 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by in Naming Assistance

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U1264Laura has a five-month-old daughter named Lijsbeth, which is a traditional Dutch spelling of the name Lisbet, and is pronounced LEES-bet.

Few people have been able to pronounce Lijsbeth’s name, and even her Australian grandparents haven’t been able to learn to say it properly. Laura is getting heartily sick of having to correct people all the time, and feels bad for her daughter that nobody knows how to say her name – especially as Lijsbeth’s big sister has a very simple, straightforward name (for example, Katie). She has started telling people to just call Lijsbeth by the nickname Bessie, even though Laura doesn’t particularly care for this name.

Since her daughter was born, Laura has learned from a Dutch cousin that the spelling Lijsbeth is considered so old-fashioned in the Netherlands that even Dutch people would have trouble pronouncing it.

Laura is starting to think it might be a good idea to officially change the spelling of her daughter’s name, probably to Lisbet (said the same way as Lijsbeth), although she’s not completely sure. She still wants her baby girl to have a Dutch name with Dutch pronunciation, like Lisbet, but she’s worried it won’t be said properly.

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This is the first time someone has written in to the blog having already named their baby, but not completely satisfied with the results.

I think that if you want to change the spelling of your daughter’s name, then you’ve got good reasons for wanting to do so. In just five months you’ve already run into issues, and if you’re fed up with constantly correcting people after this brief period, you have to remember that Lijsbeth has a lifetime of it ahead of her.

Not only that, but you’ve also discovered that her Dutch name, chosen to honour her heritage, would be a curiosity and a stumbling block even in the Netherlands. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to use the modern Dutch spelling instead.

I think Lisbet is much simpler to spell than Lijsbeth, but I’m not sure it would solve the pronunciation issues, because they are said exactly the same way. I don’t actually think LEES-bet is that hard to say, once you’ve learned how, but explaining it to everyone is probably a pain.

Luckily, you only have to register the spelling of a baby’s name, not its pronunciation, so I would just concentrate on the spelling for now, and worry about pronunciation later. Changing the spelling might make it easier for people to understand; you may become more relaxed about people’s attempts to say the name correctly; it’s possible that in time you will decide to compromise on how the name is said. I would just put that issue to one side for now and see what happens.

I think your idea of using a nickname for everyday use is a brilliant one, but what a shame you don’t like your daughter’s nickname. Is there something else you could use instead? Lisa, Leesie, Libby, Libsy, Lili, Lilbet, Itsy, Issy, Betty, Betsy, Bitsy, Bibi, Biddie, Birdie …. ?

As your daughter gets older, she will probably develop her own ideas about how she’d like her name to be pronounced, and what nickname she would prefer. Our names do often evolve and change with us, and she may come home from kinder one day and announce that her nickname is Lissy, because that’s what all the other kids call her.

The good news is that it is relatively easy to officially change your child’s name (or its spelling) before it is 12 months old. My understanding is that in the first year, it’s not considered a legal name change, but simply an amendment to the birth certificate. That means that whatever the original name was, it will simply be wiped from the records as if it had never existed.

Each state and territory has different rules, but in some states it is free, and in others you will have to pay a nominal administrative fee. Just like registering the name for the first time, both parents must sign the certificate at Births, Deaths and Marriages, and once you have the new birth certificate, you’ll have to change her details with Medicare, Centrelink, the doctor’s office, and anywhere else that has her name in their database. A bit of paperwork to fill in, but that’s about it.

You may also want to send a mass e-mail to everyone you know, briefly explaining you’ve changed the spelling of your daughter’s name to something simpler, but that the pronunciation will stay the same. This could also be an opportunity to let them know that a nickname of your choice can be used instead.

It is important that you are absolutely sure that you want to do this, that you know exactly which spelling you want to use, and that both parents are completely on board with it. It’s really something you don’t want to delay either, so I would get on to it as soon as you know what you want to do.

Good luck Laura, I’m sure you will be able to come up with a solution that makes life easier for you, and ultimately for your little girl as well. Write in again if you still feel unsure about it, or run into further issues down the track.

NOTE: In the end, Laura decided her daughter’s name didn’t need to be changed.

POLL RESULTS: Just over half of respondents voted that the baby’s name be changed to Lisbet. Nearly 18% voted for the spelling to be unchanged.

(Image from Embroidery Library)

Name News Round-Up

13 Saturday Oct 2012

Posted by in Names in the News

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I’ve read quite a few odd little snippets abut names in the news, and the holidays seems like a good opportunity to share them.

The same names popular across New South Wales

Data from the NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages shows that most areas followed the same name trends last year, despite cultural and ethnic differences. One of the major exceptions to the rule was the name Aaliyah, which is #77 across the state, but a Top Ten name in Blacktown, in Sydney’s western suburbs. At the public hospitals of Royal North Shore and Royal Prince Alfred, Oliver and Chloe were the most popular names; Olivia was the favourite name at Westmead, St George and Nepean hospitals, while Isabella topped the girl’s list at Randwick, Blacktown and Liverpool hospitals. Ethan was #1 in Liverpool, while the Central Coast was the only region to appreciate Cooper in significant numbers. Amelia proved an across-the-board favourite in almost every region, only failing to make the Top Ten in Newcastle, St Leonards, Central Coast and Blacktown.

Lismore bucks the trend

Despite this uniformity, up in Lismore in the state’s far north, they pride themselves on doing things a little differently, including baby names. In the Northern Rivers region, the most popular baby names are Riley and Mia (#20 and #5 in the state respectively). Cooper is the #2 boy’s name in Lismore, adding weight to the idea that it is coastal areas which tend to go for this name. Grace is #4 in Lismore, although #14 in the state.

Baby name regret, 1909 style

This is a story sent in by a reader to one of those columns where people send in their odd little stories.

The Unthank family of Somerville welcomed their baby daughter Hazel Ethel in 1909. Today Somerville is a suburb of Melbourne, but back then it was a rural orchard town. In order to register his daughter’s birth, Mr Unthank had to drive 10 km (6 miles) by horse and carriage to Hastings, a bustling seaside town (now another suburb).

On his way to the registry office, he dropped into the local pub to visit his wife’s family, who owned the pub, and share the good news. They all had a few drinks, and decided Hazel Ethel wasn’t suitable after all. They picked a new name, wrote it down on a piece of paper, and Mr Unthank continued his journey.

When Mr Unthank got home, he casually told his wife that he and her sisters had changed the baby’s name, but unfortunately he couldn’t remember what it was, as he had handed the slip of paper to the registrar and thought no more about it.

It was six weeks before they could find the time to visit their relatives again, and in the meantime, they had no idea what their daughter’s name was. They just called her Bubby. Eventually, they discovered her name was Zalie Vivienne Unthank, but for the rest of her life, Zalie was known by her family as Bub.

Perhaps not so strangely, both Hazel and Zalie now sound perfectly suitable as contemporary baby names. Do you think her dad and aunties made the right choice for 1909? And which one sounds better today?

(You can see the birth record for Zalie here, where her name is given as Zalie Vyvian).

Baby name superstitions

In a newspaper article from Tasmania dated 1936, it is claimed that in times gone by, it was considered lucky to choose a baby’s name before it was born. The name had to be chosen in the first nine days after birth, or it would be an unlucky child. The article unfortunately doesn’t say how long ago these superstitions were in effect.

The town that got its name back

This isn’t about baby names, but I checked my blog’s title, and it says it is about Australian names, not just baby or even people names.

The town of Mutchilba in far north Queensland is on the small side, but famed for its mangoes. In 1999, the town was quietly downgraded and removed from the map. The population of Mutchilba was (statistically speaking) moved to swell the ranks of nearby Dimbulah, which has the same postcode.

It’s said that life moves at a slower pace in the tropical heat, and perhaps that explains why the good people of Mutchilba failed to notice the change in status to their little town until July of this year. Perhaps nobody bought any new maps in the interim. Certainly nobody bothered telling them.

However, when the local paper published an article informing them of what had occurred, they were hopping mad, and launched a campaign to get their town back.

I’m happy to say they were successful, and as of October 12 this year, Mutchilba is now officially a town once more. Queensland Natural Resources and Mines Minister Andrew Cripps says the State Government fast-tracked the process, and that he took personal interest in the case, being from the far north himself.

The mayor of Mutchilba is now hoping to re-launch the Mutchilba Mango Mardi Gras, the annual festival celebrating the mango harvest, as a means of highlighting the town’s unique identity.

Mutchilba has a lovely meaning in the local language – “place of many birds”.