Tag Archives: choosing baby names

Celebrity Baby Names: Poppy Montgomery and Shawn Sanford

14 Friday Nov 2014

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Hollywood actress Poppy Montgomery, and her husband, Microsoft executive Shawn Sanford, welcomed their son Gus Monroe Deveraux on November 11 – quite aptly, on Remembrance Day, sometimes known as Poppy Day! Gus Sanford joins big sister Violet, aged 19 months, whose birth was featured on the blog, and big brother Jackson, aged 6, who is Poppy’s son from a previous relationship to Adam Kaufman, as well as siblings Hayley and Brandon from Shawn’s previous marriage.

During her pregnancy, Poppy wrote a blog post on choosing the perfect baby name, something which she feels very strongly about. Her own name has caused her a few unhappy moments, and she believes a badly-matched first name and surname can be a terrible mistake (she still shudders at how close she came to calling her first son Jack Kaufman). There’s information on why she chose Violet Grace for her daughter, and some sensible advice on choosing baby names. She’s certainly done a great job on Gus Monroe.

Famous Name: Gough

12 Wednesday Nov 2014

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November 11 is Remembrance Day, but it’s important in Australian history for another reason: the constitutional crisis of 1975, when Labor Prime Minister Gough Whitlam was dismissed from office by Governor-General Sir John Kerr. The Opposition had used its control of the Senate to block supply bills which had been passed by the lower house – a move which was within the letter of the law, but went against parliamentary tradition. Without supply, the government was unable to finance itself, and effectively stymied.

The Governor-General took the highly unusual step of breaking the deadlock by dismissing Gough Whitlam without any warning, and installing Opposition Leader Malcolm Fraser as caretaker prime minister until an election could be held. Known as “The Dismissal”, Tuesday November 11 1975 was a day of high drama, with the proclamation read from the steps of Parliament House to a crowd of angry ALP supporters, all booing furiously, until it finished with the traditional sign-off, “God save the queen”.

Gough Whitlam then made his famous speech, which began, Well may we say “God save the queen”, because nothing will save the Governor-General, went on to call Malcolm Fraser Kerr’s cur, and ended by urging his followers to maintain the rage until polling day. These statements became Labor catch phrases, even battle cries, although as it transpired, not enough people maintained sufficient rage, as the Coalition won the pre-Christmas election in a record victory. By some accounts, the Coalition senators would have eventually caved in, rendering The Dismissal unnecessary.

Edward Gough Whitlam, always known by his middle name, was the 21st Prime Minister of Australia, and an enduring icon of the Labor Party. Tall, cultured, articulate, and witty, he modernised the ALP, and after it had spent 23 years in the political wilderness, was able to turn the party from one of protest into a viable alternative government.

Elected in 1972 under the simple but effective slogan It’s Time, Gough Whitlam was a whirlwind of change in the nation, enacting a record number of bills during his three years in office. Troops were withdrawn from the Vietnam War, and draft-dodgers released from prison; a universal health care system was brought in, now called Medicare.

The Family Court was created, Legal Aid established, the death penalty abolished, and no-fault divorce brought in. The Department of Aboriginal Affairs was established, the Racial Discrimination Act enacted, the Aboriginal Land Rights Act passed, and the prime minister handed back traditional lands in the Northern Territory to their original owners. Whitlam was the first prime minister to visit communist China, granted independence to Papua New Guinea, changed Australia’s stance on South Africa’s apartheid policy, and fought against nuclear testing in the Pacific.

His list of achievements roll on and on like the credits of an epic movie. He supported women’s rights, appointing a women’s advisor to the Prime Minister, pushing for equal pay, bringing in welfare for mothers, and increased access to contraception. He supported young people, ending conscription, lowering the voting age to 18, introducing youth radio 2JJ, and abolishing university fees. He supported the arts and the environment, gave us our own national anthem, dumped the out-dated system of knights and dames, got rid of radio and TV licenses, and connected homes to sewerage. Gough brought Australia into the modern age.

After they had both left parliament, former prime ministers Gough Whitlam and Malcolm Fraser made friends and even worked together on political causes, but Whitlam never spoke to Kerr again. Gough Whitlam became an elder statesman in the ALP, and was the first person to be given life membership of the party. The oldest Australian former prime minister thus far, he passed away this year on October 21 aged 98, and his state memorial service was held on November 5, attended by the current, and six former living prime ministers.

Gough is a Welsh surname meaning “red”; the name would have been given to someone with a ruddy complexion or red hair. The surname may pre-date the Norman Conquest, and originates from the Powys region. It is pronounced to rhyme with cough.

Gough has been used as a personal name since the 17th century, mostly for males. It isn’t uncommon in Australian historical records, although far more frequently found as a middle name than a first (just as with Gough Whitlam). Although it isn’t particularly strange, it is very closely associated with the former prime minister, and some Australians may think of it as a “one person name”.

I am sure that at this point I would have warned parents of the obvious pitfalls of using the name Gough on a baby – except that I know someone, have known them very well for a long time in fact, named Gough. He was born during Gough Whitlam’s term of office, and his parents named him in honour of the prime minister, for whom they had an enormous respect.

As it turned out (and this is something else I would have warned about), their son did not share their ideals when he grew up, and his politics are much further to the right than theirs. It sounds as if Gough’s parents did everything wrong, making a foolish and perhaps even selfish decision to saddle their son with a name which might cause him embarrassment in the future.

But the truth is that Gough loves his name, and although he has a perfectly serviceable middle name that he could have used instead, nothing would induce him to be called anything but Gough. Like many people with unusual names, he finds it a wonderful ice-breaker, and nobody ever forgets his name. And because it’s such a famous name, everyone knows how to spell and pronounce it too, which isn’t always the case with unusual names.

That he more or less views Gough Whitlam as a blot on the politico-historical landscape is a source of great amusement to him, and he says people no more expect him to be left-wing than they would expect someone named Elvis to be a great singer. He doesn’t feel that he is under any pressure to emulate Gough Whitlam in any way, but I suppose some might wonder if he has unconsciously fought against his name by taking a very different path (although he has a strong ethic of service to his community, like the former PM).

So I can’t in all conscience warn you that you are making a mistake in choosing the name Gough for your baby. It might have more advantages than you’d initially imagine, and there is no evidence that it will ruin your child’s life or cause name bullying. Perhaps now that Gough Whitlam has passed away after a long and honourable lifetime of public service, it seems even more usable than it did in the early 1970s.

However, I am still fairly sure that even if you insist that your son is named for your great-grandfather Frank Gough who married his cousin Annie Gough and called his first child Gough Gough, everyone will assume that he is really named after Gough Whitlam and that you have outed yourself as a “true believer”. Not that there’s any dishonour in that.

POLL RESULTS
Gough received an approval rating of 46%. 36% of people thought it sounded too much like cough or off, but 15% saw it as strong and unforgettable. 4% of people were put off the name by Gough Whitlam.

(Photo of Gough Whitlam from the Sydney Morning Herald)

Famous Name: Edward

05 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by in Famous Names

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This year is the centenary of World War I, and just a few days ago there were commemorative celebrations for the first Australian troops to leave for the battlefields of Gallipoli. Because of this, I have chosen the name of one of our war heroes.

Edward Picton was a shearer and drover from country New South Wales when war broke out in 1914, and by the end of that year he had embarked with the 7th Light Horse Regiment. He saw active service in Gallipoli, and distinguished himself in the campaigns of Sinai and Palestine. Twice he was decorated for capturing prisoners under heavy shelling, and his commanding officer praised him as reliable, full of dash and pluck, and cool under fire.

In early 1918, he received a severe wound which left him with a permanent limp, and was taken prisoner himself; reported as missing in action, he was taken to Turkey to endure many months as a POW, and returned to Australia after the Armistice. Despite his age and disabilities, he also signed up during World War II and served in Egypt and Syria. Although one of the the most decorated soldiers of the Australian Light Horse’s famous 1917-18 campaign, he remained modest, and lived a quiet life with his family.

The name Edward is derived from the Old English ead “wealthy” (or poetically, “blessed, happy”) and weard “guardian, watchman” (the origin of our English word warden), and is usually translated as something like “rich guardian”.

The name was a traditional one amongst Anglo-Saxon royalty and nobility, as were other Ed- names, which emphasised their inherited wealth and power. An early example is the Anglo-Saxon king Edward the Elder, the son of Alfred the Great; he was a successful ruler who is said to have been extremely handsome and intelligent.

Two other pre-Conquest English kings named Edward became saints: Edward the Martyr, whose short reign ended with his murder, and Saint Edward the Confessor, who was one of the patron saints of England until he was replaced by Saint George.

It was because of Saint Edward the Confessor that the name Edward also became traditional amongst the Norman kings, because Henry III named his eldest son Edward in honour of the country’s patron saint, and he became Edward I. Thus Edward became one of those rare Anglo-Saxon names which continued to flourish after the Conquest.

There have been eight English kings named Edward since 1066, with the last one being Edward VIII, who famously abdicated in 1936, the first year of his reign, to marry the American socialite Wallis Simpson.

The name, although perhaps not auspicious for a king any more, is still in use by the British royal family, with a notable example being Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex, the youngest child of Queen Elizabeth, who is currently visiting Australia. The queen has a cousin named Edward – Prince Edward, Duke of Kent. The Duke of Kent was born a year before Edward VIII’s abdication, and I wonder if he would have been given a different name if born a year after the abdication?

If you are a fan of the Anne of Green Gables books, you will know they are mostly set on Prince Edward Island, Canada’s smallest province. They are named after Prince Edward, Duke of Kent and Strathearn, who was Queen Victoria’s father.

Edward is a name which has been something of a favourite in romantic fiction, including the dutiful Edward Ferrars in Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, and the Byronic Edward Rochester in Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre. Mr Rochester was one of the models for another romantic love interest, the vampire Edward Cullen from the Twilight series. There’s also Prince Edward from the movie Enchanted, and from a very different fairy tale, the strangely gifted Edward Scissorhands.

Edward is a classic which has never been off the charts, and barely been out of the Top 100 in Australia. It was at its height in the 1900s at #10, and hit its lowest point in the late 2000s at #103 (it did rise after Twilight). Currently it is #59 nationally, #53 in New South Wales, #39 in Victoria, #83 in Queensland, #30 in Tasmania, and #32 in the Australian Capital Territory, where it was one of the fastest-rising names of 2013.

I must admit to having great affection for the name Edward, because it was the first name I ever bestowed on a human, at the age of three. It is my brother’s name, and my parents allowed me to choose his name, in the hope that this would prove a great bonding experience, as I’d been very jealous and grizzly about the whole “new baby brother” deal.

I chose the name Edward after my favourite literary character, Winnie-the-Pooh – well I was only three! As Pooh fans will know, Winnie-the-Pooh, who was named after a real bear named Winnipeg and a swan named Pooh, is identified in the poetry book When We Were Very Young as having Edward Bear as his official name.

The budding name nerd in me was thrilled at learning someone’s real name, and excited that there were such things as real names. My mum explained that Edward was the “proper name” for Teddy, so the name meant “teddy bear”. That discovery about nicknames coming from names blew my mind. No wonder I couldn’t get enough of Winnie-the-Pooh.

I may have also been drawn to the name because one of the “big boys” in our community (about eleven) was called Edward, and he had apparently impressed me as being very kind and gentle. Perhaps I saw Edward as a “nice guy” name – the kind of person I would want as a brother. If so, my wish came true, as my brother Edward is gentle and kind too, and has devoted his life to helping others. He’s definitely one of the good guys.

Of course I didn’t get things all my own way. My idea was that my brother’s whole name would be Edward Bear, like Winnie-the-Pooh, and that his nickname would be Teddy. My parents said Bear wasn’t a proper name, and the middle name was James, after my dad. Teddy was vetoed, as to my parents’ generation, it was a synonym for thug, and his nickname eventually became, without any particular forethought that I noticed, Eddie. It was an early lesson in name compromise, and that once you’ve named someone, you lose creative control of the project.

My parents’ master plan did not work, and despite naming him, I was a complete brat towards my baby brother, locked in sibling rivalry hell. However, it didn’t last long, as my mother got pregnant again almost immediately, and in an astonishingly short time, there was another baby. Either the shock of having two baby brothers pulled me up, or I had turned four and was now a lot more mature. My parents chose their youngest child’s name themselves (I didn’t get a second gig), and ironically his nickname became Bear, which had nothing to do with his name at all. Talk about name theft!

(I don’t have clear memories of being three, and have drawn on the recollections of my parents and sister for this, but I do remember Winnie-the-Pooh, and the moment of actually announcing Edward’s name. I don’t remember being a massive fangirl of older-boy-Edward, but my family assures me that I was a great admirer; I don’t remember him from the age of three, but obviously I grew up around him and have many later memories. I only recall throwing one jealous tantrum over Eddie, but I’ve been told I was a right little monster).

So there you have it – a handsome classic which is a solid, reliable choice, yet still has some dashing romance to it, as well as teddy bear huggability. Even as a toddler I could tell it was a great name, and it has served my brother well for many years. Highly recommended!

POLL RESULTS
Edward received an excellent approval rating of 83%, making it one of the highest-rated names of 2014. People saw the name Edward as a handsome and elegant classic (31%), noble and gentlemanly (18%), dashing and romantic (13%), and having great nickname options (13%). However, 7% of people thought it was too stuffy and old-fashioned. Nobody thought the name Edward seemed stuck-up or snobbish.

(Portrait of Corporal Edward Picton from the Australian War Memorial)

What Do You Think of Arrow as a Baby Name?

01 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in Naming Assistance

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Courtney and Joel are expecting a baby next month, and although they have agreed on a girl’s name together, are having more difficulty deciding on a name for a boy.

Courtney thinks of her name as “typically 1980s”, and has often had to share her name with someone in her classroom or workplace, so she likes the idea of her child having something a bit more unusual so they can have their name to themselves. However, Joel thinks that unusual names can be a burden for a child, and would prefer something reasonably common.

Meaning is extremely important to Courtney, and she wants the name to be relevant to their lives: they already have a son named Israel, which has a strong meaning, and reflects their faith.

Should they have another boy, Courtney’s choice for their son’s name is Arrow. She likes that it’s a unique name, and has connotations of strength; there are several Bible verses she likes about arrows, so that it would seem to be another name with a religious meaning. Joel worries that Arrow is just too different.

Courtney wants to know if Arrow is too unusual, and whether people think Israel and Arrow would work as a brotherly sibset?

* * * * * * * * * *

It’s the age old debate on baby names – should our children’s names make them stand out, or fit in? Most of us want something in the middle, and agonise over finding a name that manages to both stand out and fit in simultaneously.

And of course everyone has their own opinion on what makes a baby name “too unusual”. Some people think even Top 100 names are a little out there, while others think almost any name they’ve ever seen on a real person is “too common”.

Although you say that you and Joel are at odds when it comes to unusual names, it seems to me Joel must be fairly open-minded. You have a son named Israel, and that is not a common name in Australia – although it’s not unheard of, and famous people like Israel Folau give it plenty of publicity, I estimate there would be less than six Israels born in any state per year. That’s quite a low amount.

Perhaps Joel liked Israel because it’s a name from the Bible, with a history of many thousands of years, so that everyone has heard of Israel, even if they don’t know anyone with the name. Maybe it hit a sweet spot, so that Israel was neither too common for you, nor too strange for Joel.

Arrow is even less common than Israel, but it’s not unheard of as a baby name. I have seen a few children named Arrow, and it’s getting some use as a middle name – including Bobby Arrow, the son of radio host Tim Ross. The name does have some history, being used since the 18th century, and can be found in Australian historical records from the 19th century, although mostly as a middle name – there are only a couple of people with the first name Arrow.

To me, a name that is very rare is not necessarily a “weird” name. A couple of weeks ago, a blog reader named Michelle asked about two rare girls’ names her partner was keen on, Maida and Maeva. I have seen even less children with these names than those called Arrow (in fact, I’ve seen exactly zero babies named Maida or Maeva), but they fit in really well with current trends in girls names, and would not seem strange amongst classmates named Maeve, Mia, Maya, and Mae.

That’s a good way to get a baby name that’s both uncommon but not too strange – find one that is in rare use, but fits in with contemporary name trends. It may get attention for being out of the ordinary, but hopefully most people will find it refreshing rather than confronting. Could Arrow be one of those rare-yet-on-trend names?

I think Arrow fits in with the trends rather well. From the bounding popularity of Archer, and solid performance of Fletcher (maybe even Beau, which sounds like Bow), it would seem that names connected with archery are on the rise. Furthermore names connected with weaponry in general are doing extremely well, because I regularly see boys (and occasionally girls) with names like Hunter, Gunner, Colt, Blade, Gauge, Bowie, Sabre, and Steele.

I’m a bit skittish about the trend for “weapons as baby names”, but Arrow seems much more than just a weapon. It’s connected to tales of derring-do, like Robin Hood and William Tell, and romance, because of Cupid’s arrows of love. It’s also a superhero name because of the Green Arrow – another hot baby name trend, and in the public consciousness because of the television series, Arrow.

And you are drawn to Arrow for reasons of faith, because arrows are mentioned in the Bible, where it describes “the Lord’s arrow of victory”, which “will flash like lightning”. In the Bible, arrows often symbolise the judgement of God. Arrows also symbolise having a clear direction to follow, swiftness and protection, and also mental alertness and toughness.

The name Arrow is on trend because of its sound too – names starting with Ar- are very fashionable, as witnessed by Archer, Ari, Ariel, Aria, Ariana, Aryan, Arthur, and Arlo. Names ending with an O sound are fashionable too, like Hugo, Indigo, Django, Marlowe, and Arlo again. Arrow doesn’t sound that much different to Arlo, when you think about it.

One of the reasons that makes simple English vocabulary names easy to bear is that everyone knows how to spell and pronounce them; unless you fiddle around with the spelling, there’s no headache involved. People might be surprised by the name Arrow, but there’s no cumbersome explanations necessary.

I think Israel and Arrow work really well as brothers. They’re both unusual names that are still very familiar, at least as a nation and a noun. They’re strong and meaningful, and Arrow really takes Israel is an interesting direction, while Israel possibly makes it clearer that Arrow has been chosen for biblical reasons.

So to me Arrow is not too strange as a name, and I briefly mentioned it on the blog as a name which seemed as if it had a lot of potential. But what about Joel – could Arrow ever hit his sweet spot the way that Israel did?

UPDATE: The baby’s name was Gabriel!

POLL RESULTS
84% of people polled believed that Arrow wasn’t too unusual a name to use on a baby. 34% thought it was a bit unusual, but people would soon get used to it, while 19% admitted the name was too unusual for them to use, but that they would find it interesting on someone else’s child. 10% thought it was a very unusual name, but they considered that positive, as it made the name cool and different, and another 10% didn’t think it was really that unusual, as it fitted in so well with current name trends. 11% didn’t think Arrow was unusual in the least. 10% thought that Arrow probably was too unusual, as they couldn’t imagine it on a real person, while 6% thought it was a really weird name.

81% of people polled were in favour of Israel and Arrow as a sibset. 37% thought it was okay, 26% thought it was a good choice that worked well, while 18% saw it as a perfect match. 14% thought it wasn’t so good, and might need a rethink, while 5% considered it a complete mismatch.

Names Spotted at Home and Abroad: Name Story Special (Spring 2014)

08 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by in Names Spotted at Home and Abroad

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When I looked through my name files, I saw I had quite a collection of stories explaining how babies had received their names. I thought it would be worthwhile to see how other parents go about choosing baby names, as some of their solutions have been quite creative. (You may remember some of these names from the weekly Birth Announcements).

Footy Fever
Baby Aish Barker of Adelaide was named after a famous footballing family where three generations have played for Norwood Football Club. Dad is a massive Norwood fan, and always knew that this child would be called Aish, a name chosen in advance of the birth, regardless of the baby’s gender. Aish is a girl, and her big sister is Teegan. The Aish family feel honoured to have a baby named after them.

Reality Check
Amity McIntosh was born last Easter in Toowoomba, a sister to Dylan. She is named after Amity Dry, who got her big break after appearing on renovation reality show, The Block, in 2003; she and her husband were the winners that year. Through exposure gained on the show, Amity Dry got a recording contract, and has released two albums, as well as writing a musical play. You might remember that the name Amity has just reached the Top 100 in Queensland, so even though Ms Dry is from Adelaide, her name seems to have been a big hit north of the border.

His Name is History
Ethan Forbes Thomas was born in Sydney last autumn, the great-great-great grandson of William Thomas, the first Lord Mayor of Forbes, in country New South Wales. His parents were originally going to use the name William to honour the family connection, but there were already a lot of Williams in their family. They still wanted a name connected to their revered great-great, so chose the name of the town instead. The Thomas family have a strong connection to their family heritage in Forbes, and planned to have Ethan baptised in Forbes in September. Forbes is a very interesting town historically, as it was a gold-rush town in the 19th century. The bushranger Ben Hall was shot near there, and Ned Kelly‘s sister Kate lived in Forbes: she drowned saving an Aboriginal child during a flood, and is buried in the town’s cemetery.

Gender Swap Baby
Sebastian Carvajal was born on Mother’s Day in Melbourne, and was a “surprise baby”, because his parents were told at their ultrasound scan that their baby was a girl. They had therefore painted the nursery pink, bought girl baby clothes, and picked out the name Olivia, not to mention planning trips to the nail salon and dance classes. I remember reading that parents who opt to find out the sex of their baby in advance tend to have very set ideas about gender roles, and this seems like a good example – pink and dance classes for girls, blue and hobby cars for boys! I was interested that they had Olivia chosen for a girl and Sebastian for a boy, because Olivia and Sebastian are a couple in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.

Named After Mum’s Cheeks
Rosie Lyn Killalea was born in June in Sydney, and she is named that because her mum’s childhood nickname was Rosie, as she had rosy-red cheeks. Her middle name Lyn is after her great-grandmother, who passed away a year before Rosie was born. Rosie has inherited her mum’s pink cheeks.

Two Grandmothers in One Name
Lana Rosanna Krause was born in Rockhampton in July. Her middle name was chosen because her mother’s mum is named Annette and her father’s mum is named Rose.

Greek Mystery
Aeson Carter Small was born in August in Gladstone, just as his parents returned from holiday. When his parents first decided to start trying for a baby, they discovered that his mother was pregnant just two days later. They picked the name Aeson, because they believed that it was a translation from the Greek for “meant to be”, but I think they must have got it from some dodgy name book, because the meaning of Aeson isn’t known. In Greek myth, Aeson was the father of Jason, and he came to an unfortunate end.

He’s Cruz, Not Acacia
Cruz Zion Petterson, of Sutherland Shire, was born in the car on the way to the hospital. The car was parked on Fauna Place, just off Acacia Road in Sutherland, and some people thought he should have been named Acacia; however the Pettersons didn’t think either Acacia or Fauna were viable options for their son. I wonder if Cruz would have been called Acacia if he was a girl? Cruz wasn’t born in a Holden Cruze, but in a Mitsubishi 380. Cruz has a big sister named Starr and a big brother named Phoenix.

Names From The Best Gift of Life

The Best Gift of Life is a blog that Sarah from For Real Baby Names put me onto. It has interviews with mums, many of whom have interests in fashion, photography, and interior design, about their lives and their babies. One of the interview questions is about how they chose their baby’s name, so I thought I’d share some from Australian families.

Bambi – parents Vanessa and Sean liked the name, and knew she would be the cutest little girl.

Johnny Jay – named after mum Shaunyl’s grandfather, John James. Johnny honours Johnny Cash, one of Shaunyl’s favourite singers.

Kawa Leaf – parents are Dee and Desmond. Kawa means “river” in Japanese. Dee lived in Japan in her early twenties, and the name resonated with her; she is of Chinese heritage, and in Chinese Kawa translates as “family” + “fine painting”. The middle name Leaf was chosen because at the time of Kawa’s conception and during the pregnancy, the family were living in a garden nursery called New Leaf.

Peaches Wilde – parents Tess and Caleb had the name picked out even while they were dating. Peachy was mum’s nickname, so dad thought Peaches was perfect. The middle name Wilde was chosen because dad is a “wild hearted” stuntman, so the name honours both parents.

Ravi and Nova – two brothers born a year apart to Camille and Dean. Ravi‘s name was chosen at the 14 week mark of pregnancy, but Nova‘s took longer as most of their favourite names got “swiped”. Both parents like unusual names, and Camille comes from a family which includes Afrika, Harmony, India, Nimue and Joaquin, so different names blend in better.

Seb – named after the Spanish city of San Sebastian which his parents Karrie-Anne and Brent fell in love with on holiday. They were never going to call him Sebastian, so used the short form, Seb.

(Picture is of Peaches Wilde with her mother Tess; photo from The Best Gift of Life)

Name Update: They Did a Complete Revamp

25 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by in Name Updates

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Ashleigh and Dylan were interested to know if it would be legal to name their baby Duke, and also had several other names on their baby name short list.

However, Ash writes that they spent so long looking over their name list that in the end, none of them seemed right at all. A week before their son was born, they scrapped the list entirely, and started from scratch.

There was a name that Ash had liked for a boy as soon as she found out she was pregnant, but Dylan wasn’t keen. However, when they started their search anew, it was the first name he suggested, as in the intervening time, Dylan started to like the sound of it.

So when their son arrived a couple of weeks ago, his name was

VINCENT COREY “VINNIE“,

little brother to IMOGEN.

I’m so glad Ash and Dylan had the courage to scrap their list and start again – there’s no point sticking with names you no longer like, and much better to change your mind before than have baby name regret after. And isn’t it great that Dylan had a change of heart? It shows that just because your partner says no to a name, it doesn’t always mean that’s their final answer.

Congratulations Ash and Dylan! I think Vincent is really handsome, and makes a great brother for Imogen.

 

Urgent Name Help Needed: They’re Completely Stressed About Their Big Baby Name Mess!

20 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by in Naming Assistance

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The Situation
Charlotte and Jake have been blessed with a beautiful daughter, and they couldn’t be happier – except that she was born seven weeks ago and they still haven’t decided on a name for her. Charlotte was relieved to read on the blog that no terrible fate awaits parents who don’t make the 60 day registration deadline, but they still need to choose a name as soon as possible.

During the pregnancy they considered the names Myrtle, Elsie, Rosie, Mabel, Maeve, Mae, Agnes, Florence, Iris, Ida, Fern, and Pearl. Jake’s #1 choice for the name is Rosie, which Charlotte isn’t that keen on, while he completely vetoed Pearl. During the name process, Jake went off Iris and Ida.

Just before the birth, their short list of front runners was:
* Myrtle
* Agnes
* Elsie
* Mabel
* Rosie

How the Problem Started
As Charlotte was wheeled off to recover after giving birth, she and Jake were in complete agreement: the baby’s name was Elsie. Charlotte was sure she was an Elsie, and told the doctor that was her daughter’s name. Meanwhile, Jake was telling all the nurses they had chosen the name Elsie.

Unfortunately, Charlotte couldn’t bring herself to commit to Elsie because of a family issue. Elsie is the name of a family member, no longer in the land of the living, that Charlotte didn’t know or have contact with. However, other family members who did know Elsie didn’t get along with her, and weren’t pleased at the prospect of another Elsie in the family.

The baby came home without a name, and Jake was annoyed, believing they should have just stuck with the name Elsie.

Everyone Has an Opinion!
Jake and Charlotte have an older daughter called Olive, and Olive instantly recognised the baby as Myrtle, and called her such. However, Jake and Charlotte had already decided she definitely wasn’t a Myrtle.

Mostly Jake and Charlotte have been calling their daughter Mabel since she was born, and Charlotte is getting a strong emotional attachment to it. However, Charlotte also reasons that if Mabel was such a good name, wouldn’t they have committed to it by now?

Furthermore, they have shared the name Mabel with others, and received extremely negative reactions to it. They’ve been told it’s an awful name, a cow’s name, a scullery maid’s name, and an elderly relative said they could call the baby anything they wanted – but not Mabel.

Charlotte loves the name Fern, but this has resulted in people “pulling faces” when the idea is floated past them. She also worries that Olive and Fern are too botanical together, and wonders if Fern really has vintage charm, or is it actually a hippie name? She also wonders if Maeve really has that vintage feel as well.

Everyone loves the name Rosie, but Charlotte thinks of it as a “dog name”, and a bit too common.

What Charlotte and Jake Want
* Ideally, a vintage-style name
* A soft, beautiful name to suit their gentle, placid daughter
* A name that isn’t a “burden”
* Jake likes names that have a nickname

Current Name List

* Elsie (Charlotte is still concerned about the family issue, and isn’t sure about the -ie ending)
* Mabel
* Maeve
* Fern
* Martha
* Maggie
* Alice
* Nora
* Edith or Edie (Charlotte not keen)
* Mae (too short, but maybe a nickname for Mabel or Maeve?)
* Agnes, Ida, and Rosie are still in the mix and seem usable, although Jake has gone off Agnes

Middle names they are considering are Birdie, Josephine, and Rose. Charlotte quite fancies Birdie as a short form of Brigid (and it could be her name for everyday use), Jake really loves the thought of an Elsie Josephine, and the Rose is a sop to Jake, so that he can still have the option of calling his daughter Rosie as a nickname.

Where They Are Now
Going around and around in circles and getting stressed and anxious. Charlotte can’t let go of any of the names, and has been through the complete register of all births from 1880 to 1920 to find fresh name inspiration. The 60 day deadline expires next week ….

* * * * * * * * * *

Goodness, you two have got yourself in a real pickle, haven’t you?

This is the fourth time on the blog I have heard of a couple having trouble choosing a baby name after the birth – three of you have written in, and one was a news story. What you all have in common is that other people have become involved in the baby naming process, and in each case, this wasn’t the slightest bit of help, and turned the whole thing into a huge drama that went on for weeks.

You both chose the name Elsie, which I think is a beautiful name which sounds lovely with Olive, and with your surname, and pretty much ticked all your boxes, being vintage, and soft-sounding, and nicknamey. It sounds as if you would have happily come home with a baby called Elsie if not for the opinions of family members.

I tend to agree with Jake – I think you should have just named her Elsie, and announced that as her name. Despite the family disagreement, I don’t think it would have taken them more than a few minutes (a few weeks for anyone of exceptional stubborness) to realise that the Elsie they didn’t care for is gone forever and will never bother them again, while little baby Elsie is a completely separate person and utterly sweet and delightful in every way.

That’s another problem with choosing a baby name several weeks after the birth. Your heart is bursting with love for your daughter, and every minute you fall more and more in love with her. And each day she’s getting cuter and cuter, developing winning little ways and adorable baby quirks. No name is going to seem good enough for her, and a great enough expression of your love, and if you wait until she’s giggling and cooing, you’ll be toast.

You look down at her and think, “Oh she’s such a beautiful baby, so soft and gentle and placid and cuddly and happy. We need an extra specially soft and beautiful and cuddly and happy name for her”. But what name is ever going embody that unique combination of beauty and softness and gentleness and placidity and happiness to your perfect satisfaction?

And she’s so tiny and perfect and fragile and defenceless that you can’t bear the thought of anyone poking fun of her name, and every name you consider seems to have a hidden trap in it. Of course you don’t want her to grow up in a family where people say, “The last Elsie in the family wasn’t very nice”, or amongst friends who say, “Mabel sounds like a cow”, or pull a face when they hear her name. The more time you think about it, the more every name will seem as if it has tease potential.

Also the longer you wait, the more you feel under pressure to come up with something amazing. It will seem ridiculous that it took you three months to pick the name Elsie Josephine or Mabel Rose or Fern Maeve. You have to drop the idea that there’s a perfect name out there that will match your daughter’s personality with exqusisite taste, silence all criticism, be utterly tease-immune, and make everyone think, “Oh well no wonder it took them all this time to find a name that good”.

I have two main pieces of advice for you, and even if you ignore everything else, please please please PLEASE follow these two things in the headline.

1. Nobody Else Gets to Name Your Baby Girl
It’s time the committee meetings on what to call the baby come to a complete halt. Other people haven’t helped, and have made you second guess all the names you’re considering. I feel absolutely furious that people have been so rude about the names you like, and I agree it’s absolutely none of their business. On the other hand – why did you ask?

You worry that their opinions show what your daughter will have to face in the future, yet, being extremely blunt, some of these people will have passed on by the time your daughter reaches adulthood, and your colleagues aren’t going to be part of her life (they won’t even be part of your life forever).

In any case, asking a ton of people for their opinions is a waste of time. The kind of names that  won’t be criticised are ones like Amelia Mae, Chloe Elizabeth or Olivia Grace – “safe” names. And besides, if you were going to pick a name based on what other people approve of, Charlotte would have agreed to Rosie – Jake’s favourite name, which everyone else likes, including me. But none of that matters, because Charlotte doesn’t really like it.

Baby name discussions should only be held between the two of you, in private. Don’t ask other people for their opinions, and if they offer them, just say something like, “Thank you, we’ll have to think that one over”. Don’t let people see that the process is getting you stressed, because that’s an opportunity for them to “help” you. If they ask how the baby name choosing is going, smile brightly and say, “Oh we’re nearly there – we’ll be announcing the name soon”.

If they make a comment about how long it’s taking, say something like, “I know the time we’re taking must seem a little silly to an outsider”, then change the subject at once. That lets them know that it’s no big deal, and puts them firmly on the outside – and the bigger fuss they make, the more of an outsider they become. It’s a polite way of letting them know it’s none of their concern.

2. Your Name List Should Be Getting Shorter, Not Longer!
I’m bewildered as to how you had five names on your name list before going to hospital, and now you have around fifteen. I know you said that you were having trouble letting go of the names, but you’re still adding to your name list, which means you’ll never pick a name at this rate. You’ve even put names that have been vetoed back on the list!

You’ve got to stop thinking up more names, and just stick to what you’ve got. That means no getting out of the shower with a great name you thought up while shampooing your hair, no wondering if a name you vetoed is really that bad and could still be considered, and definitely no going through four decades of birth registers!

Let’s see what names could be trimmed:

Elsie – I think this name has been ruined for Charlotte by her family’s interference, and she’s gone off it because it’s too much like Rosie.
Rosie – Charlotte thinks it’s a dog name, and too common. I disagree, but to heck with me, it’s not my baby.
Maggie – I’m getting the feeling Charlotte isn’t mad about two syllable names ending with -ie. And Maggie is actually a common name for dogs, so if Rosie is out for those reasons, then Maggie should be triply out.
Edith and Edie – Charlotte doesn’t like them.
Mae – you both agreed it’s too short.
Agnes – Jake has gone off it.
Ida – Jake has gone off it.
Iris – Jake has gone off it
Florence – neither has vetoed it, but you never mentioned it again either, so you can’t be that keen

And what’s left:

Maeve, possibly nn Mae
I think it’s a beautiful name, but you did wonder if it sounded vintage, and I don’t think it really sounds vintage at all – it’s only come into common use in Australia quite recently.

Fern
I love the name Fern too, and although some people might see it as hippie, it was quite popular in the late 19th century, mostly in the middle. It does sound botanical with Olive, if that’s an issue. Blog contributor Madelyn suggested Fern as a nickname for Frances – could something like that work?

Martha
This is a very dignified name, and I think it does have that gentle image you were after – although it also seems strong. Very much in line with British name trends too.

Alice
I think this is bang on for beautiful, soft and sweet, and a nice match with Olive, but if you wanted to get technical, it’s a classic rather than a vintage choice. It seems like a great replacement for Elsie – it’s got a vaguely similar sound, without being so alike that it brings back memories of Elsie (as Elsa would, for example).

Nora
Very hip choice, excellent match with Olive, well ahead of the trends. I wonder if it might be too nicknamey for Charlotte’s taste though. If so, what about Eleanor, nn Nora?

Mabel
This just leaves Mabel, which seems like the obvious choice. It’s beautiful, soft and sweet but still spunky; it literally means “lovable”; it’s vintage-style; it makes an awesome match with Olive; it sounds adorable with your surname, and it’s the name you are already calling her, and have taught Olive to call her.

You’ve said that you’re getting emotionally attached to Mabel, which makes me think that you may have already chosen it without quite admitting it to yourselves. You say that the fact that you haven’t committed to it yet shows it can’t really be that great, but you haven’t given yourselves a chance to.

I know other people have been critical about Mabel, but there’s a good reason for that – you’re slightly ahead of the trends, because Mabel only came back on the charts in the 2000s, and it’s not zooming up in a bothersomely trendy way, but remaining fairly stable. People just aren’t used to it yet because it’s so fresh. And your friend who thinks it’s a scullery maid name? Hasn’t she been watching Downton Abbey – doesn’t she know that “scullery maid names” are hot right now?

I love both the middle names you have picked out, and I think Mabel Birdie Rose is utterly, utterly lovely. It gives you the option of calling her either Mae, Birdie, or Rosie for everyday, and luckily you don’t have to register nicknames so you can take as long as you want to decide which one (or use all three if you want – there’s no law on nicknames!)

If it was up to me, I’d say Mabel Birdie Rose. But it’s not up to me – it’s your privilege to name your daughter, and no one else’s. So what will it be?

NAME UPDATE: The baby’s name was Mabel!

POLL RESULT: The overwhelming choice of the public was Mabel, which received more than 50% of the vote.

Should They Pick Eva or Ivy? And What Do You Think About Lulu?

30 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by in Naming Assistance

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Anne and Kenneth are expecting a baby girl in a few weeks, and as Anne has had some pregnancy complications, there is a possibility the baby could come early. Apart from her other concerns, she’s worried that they are running out of time to choose a baby name. Anne and Ken already have a son named Will.

After lengthy discussions, the only names Anne and Ken have agreed on are Eva and Ivy. Anne likes pretty, feminine names that have a cute nickname attached. That’s why Eva seems like a good option, because both Anne and Ken like the short form Evie, but want a formal name for it. Anne loves Ivy, but doesn’t like that it has no nickname – just as Will’s name doesn’t. It’s not a deal-breaker, but it does mean that she’s still considering other options.

Ken has always liked Lily, but it’s too similar to Will in sound to consider using. However, they like the idea of using it as a middle name for Eva – Eva Lily.

Other names Anne likes that have been vetoed by Ken:

Everly
Luella
Audrey
Layla
Sybella

Names that Ken likes which have been vetoed by Anne:

Aerin (because the spelling will need constant explanation)
Georgina (the name of a friend’s daughter)
Lily (clashes with Will)
Harper (Anne worries it’s a short-term name trend)

Both Anne and Ken like the name Lulu, but don’t think they could use it as a formal name as it seems so youthful. That’s why Anne suggested Luella, but Ken doesn’t care for it.

Will has a family name for his middle name, and ideally Anne would like their daughter to have a family name in the middle as well. The problem is that there aren’t too many family names that really work with the names they are considering. Her mother’s nickname is Cally, which might work, while her sister’s middle name, Elizabeth, seems like a possibility. Another family name under consideration is Amy. Anne hates her own name, both first and middle, and definitely doesn’t want it used.

However, Anne’s willing to give up on the idea of a family name if it doesn’t work out. She also wonders what people think about using two middle names?

Some name combinations she likes with Ivy are:

Ivy Lulu
Ivy Harper
Ivy Luella
Ivy Elizabeth

Neither Anne or Ken are happy with their own names, which is why they are so anxious to get their daughter’s name right. Their surname begins with C and ends with L eg Caldwell.

* * * * * * * * * *

Anne, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had pregnancy complications, but try not to add running out of time to your list of worries. We get a really generous amount of time (60 days) to register a baby’s name in Australia after the birth, so nobody should need to feel panicked about finding a baby name.

And it sounds as if you and Ken are making great progress – you’ve agreed on Eva and Ivy, and you’ve both agreed that you like Lulu as a nickname, but would need a formal name for it. That gives you two definite front-runners, and the possibility of having a “Lulu-providing” name.

Eva Lily seems absolutely perfect for you, as it has a nickname, Evie, that you both like, and you can also use Ken’s choice of Lily in the middle, while Ivy Lily is problematic. Eva sounds lovely with your surname, and seems like a natural sister to Will. Eva was featured on the blog earlier this year, and was judged by voters as a stylish classic, feminine but not frilly, beautiful or pretty, and easy to spell and pronounce. That’s a big thumbs up from the public, and a thumbs up from me as well.

Although Ivy doesn’t have a nickname, I notice that you write that you LOVE the name Ivy, while you say that you LIKE Eva. Now maybe you didn’t want to keep using the same word to describe your feelings for each name, but that was enough to make me pause.

I wonder whether you prefer Ivy to Eva, and it’s the lack of a nickname that is stopping you from committing to it? Because if you’re a naturally nicknamey person, it seems as if almost child can have a nickname, no matter what it has on the birth certificate. I know a little girl named Mary-Ann, and she goes by … Sunny! Because has such a sunny smile. Nicknames don’t have to come from the name, they can be bestowed for any number of reasons.

Apologies if I’m reading too much into this, but Ivy is also a lovely name that sounds nice with your surname, and seems like it could easily be Will’s sister. And if Eva ends up being Evie most of the time, there really isn’t a lot of difference between Evie and Ivy.

I like the middle names you are considering for Ivy. Ivy Elizabeth is a nice way to honour your sister, and Elizabeth has tons of nickname options if you wanted a nickname – including Lily, and at a small stretch, Lulu. There was a celebrity baby named Ivy Elizabeth this year, which got a “perfect” rating from more than 60% of the public. Ivy Lillian also occurs to me. Ivy Harper is fresh and modern, but doesn’t sound quite right to me – maybe because it makes me picture someone trying to play the harp on a clump of ivy …

Ivy Luella seems like a good compromise with Ken (in the same way Eva Lily is a compromise on his name choice), and naturally gives you a Lulu nickname. Ivy Lulu is even more straightforward, if you can both agree on it as a middle name. I’m sure you’ve already thought of these, but names such as Lucinda, Louisa, Luna, and Eloise could also give the nickname Lulu, either at the front or in the middle.

I think Lulu is one of those cute nicknames that can be given simply as a mark of affection, like Mimi or Coco or Bunny. If you’re both really keen on Lulu, but can’t agree on a name which leads to Lulu, why not use it anyway? Ivy, nickname “Lulu”? Short for “Love u little ‘un” or anything you like, really!

As far as using two middle names, I’m totally in favour if it makes everything easier for you. For example, suppose you weren’t 100% happy with Ivy Elizabeth, or with Ivy Harper, but Ivy Elizabeth Harper just sounded perfect to you. Or you felt that Eva Lily was too short, but Eva Lily Amabel was a lovely balance, and also honoured Amy, or Ivy Luella Amabel gave you the option of Lulu Belle as a nickname, which idea pleased you. Then two middle names make perfect sense.

But if trying to co-ordinate two middle names and choose a first name as well stresses you out and makes you more anxious about everything, then forget about it. Keep it simple – and sometimes two middle names does actually simplify things.

Basically this what you have to do now:

– Choose between Eva nn “Evie” and Ivy. Focus on which one you love more, rather than which one seems most convenient.
– Possibly decide how committed you are to using Lulu, and think of ways you could get there, such as by middle name, or just using it because you want to. Don’t be afraid to be creative.
– Choose a middle name, or two middle names, to go with the name of your choice. If slotting a family name in causes you too much of a headache, then by all means don’t worry about it. I guarantee that in later life Will won’t be taunting his younger sister with, “I’ve got a family name as my middle name, and you’ve only got a middle name mum and dad really liked that co-ordinates well with your first name, so nyah, nyah nyah!”

That’s pretty much it. And there’s no real reason why you have to lock in all these decisions before your daughter is born. If you have a pretty good idea of the two or three names you will probably end up choosing between, the final decision can be made at the hospital, or even after taking her home and getting to know her for a bit. There’s a chance you’ll look at her and immediately know she’s an Eva and not an Ivy, or an Ivy and not an Evie, and if that doesn’t happen, then you’re still pretty much on track.

I know you don’t want your daughter to dislike her name, and although I can’t promise anything in that regard, you’re not making any obvious errors that I can see. Both names you are considering are pretty and stylish, and I don’t think her life is going to be any different whether you choose Eva or Ivy. In fact, they are so equally good, you could probably toss a coin over this.

I have no doubt at all that if you went into labour right this second, you would have very little drama in choosing a baby name once she was born. And if the worst happens, and you take her home and still can’t choose, write in to the blog again and we’ll have an emergency baby naming brainstorm!

UPDATE: The baby’s name was Ivy!

POLL RESULTS: The public were evenly divided between Ivy and Eva, with 50% of the vote going to both. Their choice for a middle name with Ivy was Ivy Elizabeth, which gained 60% of the vote – more than twice as much as the next name combination.

As far as the nickname Lulu went, 52% of people thought you needed a name such as Lucinda or Louisa to be nicknamed Lulu, 23% thought that it could be a nickname which had no relation to the name on the birth certificate, 19% thought that Lulu could be a nickname which came from the middle name, and 7% thought that the first name needed to be only vaguely alike, such as Elizabeth or Lillian, in order to receive the nickname Lulu.

(Picture is a poster for the Little Lulu TV show)

Boy’s Names are Giving Them a Headache! Can You Help This Couple Find a Pain-Free Boy’s Name?

23 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by in Naming Assistance

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hypnotherapy-for-headachesRachel and Nathan are expecting their first baby at the end of the year, and are having some difficulties deciding on a baby name. Rachel and Nathan like old-style and vintage names that aren’t too common, but not too strange or made up.

For a girl, they have pretty much decided on Lottie Grace. At first, Rachel was concerned with how it sounded with their surname, which is a long one ending in an -ee sound, such as DuHannitay. However, she feels happy with it now, and Nathan likes it as well. They chose Grace because it sounds nice with Lottie, but would be open to hearing other middle name suggestions.

Rachel’s first choice was Frankie, but Nathan didn’t like it, and then Rachel rather went off it as well. She also likes Audrey, Millie, Poppy, Elsie – but Lottie is definitely the front runner. Names that they like but can’t use for various reasons include Clara, Edie, Lucy, Hattie, and Maisie.

The real problem is boy’s names. Nathan doesn’t seem keen on many of Rachel’s suggestions, and Rachel is starting to feel that the harder she looks for names, the more confused she feels. These are the names they have discussed so far:

Albie: Rachel likes it, Nathan isn’t sure
Alfie: Nathan prefers this to Albie, but Rachel thinks it’s getting too popular, and dislikes the short form Alf
Arthur: Rachel likes it, but thinks it might be a bit much, and Nathan dislikes it; they don’t like short forms of the name such as Art or Artie
Clem: has been vetoed by Nathan
Jimmy: Nathan likes it, Rachel doesn’t mind it
Max: has been ruled out because it’s too common
Rex: it’s okay, but neither of them love it
George: Rachel has always really liked it, but feels it might be getting a bit too common

Names they like but can’t use include Charlie, Spencer, Louie, Lenny, and Vincent.

The middle name hasn’t been settled yet. They have a family name Bernie (Bernard) in mind, which could be used, but if it doesn’t fit with the name, would drop it for something else.

* * * * * * * * * *

I’m glad you’ve picked a girl’s name, and Lottie seems just your style. I think Grace is a nice middle name, and very fuss-free. The only other short name that occurred to me is Lou – just because Lottie Lou is so adorable. I also think Lottie Amelia and Lottie Matilda make nice combinations. Middle names I’ve seen for Lottie in real life are: Lottie Violet, Lottie Estelle, Lottie Alice, Lottie Scarlett, Lottie Elizabeth, Lottie Margaret, Lottie Harriet, Lottie Olive, and Lottie Lux.

For boy’s names, I can see why you’re having problems. First, you haven’t agreed on many names, and even the agreements have been a bit half-hearted. That might be a sign you have to compromise. Sometimes you get to pick a name that you both love, and sometimes just one of of you likes the name, and the other one can live with it. Or maybe both of you are just okay with the name, and that might work too – you can learn to love a name as your son grows into it.

There’s something I notice with people who say they “can’t think of any names”, or “don’t really like any names”. What they tend to have in common is a lot of rules restricting their choices, so that the pool of baby names to consider is more of a teaspoon.

I always give a little inward sigh when someone tells me that what they want is an unpretentious traditional name that isn’t weird or unusual, but not common at all. In fact, it can’t even become common in the future. In other words, they want a nice normal name that’s exactly like everyone else’s baby name, but they don’t want anyone else to have actually chosen the name for their child, or to do so at a later date.

That’s a tall order. And once they find the four or five names that might fit this paradoxical profile, what are the odds that they even like those names, let alone love them?

Looking at some of your comments on the boy’s names you’ve discussed, I see that Alfie, which is around the #200 mark, is already “too popular” for you, while classic and gently rising Arthur might be slightly over the top. The name that you really like, George, is too common, and Rex, which fits every single one of your requirements, just gets a “meh”.

I confess to being stumped, and I’m not surprised that you’re stumped as well. I  think something has to give – either you start liking names that are a bit more unusual, or you accept that the names you like are gaining in popularity. It’s very hard to force yourself to be attracted to names that aren’t your style, and it would be much easier to come to terms with name popularity, and maybe even discover it’s not such a spooky bogeyman after all.

Let’s have a look at those names which you might actually use, and see if some of their problems aren’t so bad.

Albie or Alfie
You both seem to like the similar sounds of these two names, with Rachel suggesting Albie, and Nathan preferring Alfie. I’m not sure either of you have convinced the other, although I really don’t think Alfie is too common – I wonder if the idea of someone nicknaming him Alf is the real problem?

Albie made me think of Paddy, Rory and Finley, while cheeky Alfie reminded me of a list Elea has at British Baby Names called Lively Lads. I wonder if any of these names might appeal, such as Freddie or Ollie?

Jimmy
This seems like a genuine possibility, with Nathan liking it and Rachel okay with it. It does seem like a boyish version of Lottie, as both are pet forms of very popular names (James and Charlotte). It fits all of your requirements, and is a real charmer of a name. Other names that seem similar are Johnny, Billy, Sonny, Gus, and Ted.

Rex
Poor old Rex – it’s everything you’ve asked for, yet neither of you are that keen on it. That suggests that your feelings for a name are much more important than how many boxes it ticks. Names that remind me of Rex are Roy, Stanley, Victor, Leon, Lawrence, and Theodore.

George
And then there’s George, which Rachel has always liked. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to give your son a name that you’ve always had warm feelings for? And if you’re worried about it becoming too common, here’s something to consider. It already is common. Which sounds like a bad thing, except that here’s something else to consider. It’s always been common. George has never been out of the Top 100, making it one of those sturdy, reliable classics where you don’t have to worry about them becoming popular, because there’s never been a time they weren’t popular. Doesn’t that give you a feeling of security? And it hasn’t been higher than #50 since the 1980s, so it’s popular, but not too popular. Isn’t that a comforting thought?

I think your worries about popularity have made it so hard to think of names that it’s worth starting from scratch, and this time don’t think about how popular a name is at all, or how much more frequently you’ve seen it lately.

I’d like to see the two of you each write down ten boys’ names you really like – names that you can imagine giving your son, names that fit well into your family, names that feel right. Then compare lists, and see if there are any names you’ve both chosen. If so, that’s a great starting point. If not, perhaps there are points of such similarity that you can reach a compromise together.

You’ve got a fair way to go before your due date, so you have time to write in for another blog consultation if you would like one. And take heart – you’ve already chosen a fantastic girl’s name that you both like, and which fits all your needs, so there’s no reason you can’t be just as successful choosing a boy’s name.

UPDATE: Unfortunately Rachel never got back to me, and when I tried to contact her, her email had been disabled.

POLL RESULT: The public’s choice for a boy’s name was George with 35% of the vote, and Alfie was not too far behind on 30%.

Can His Name Just Be Ted?

09 Saturday Aug 2014

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This is the first time we have had “repeat customers” on the blog, because Kate and Steve were featured on Waltzing More Than Matilda almost exactly two years ago.

Kate wrote in because she and Steve couldn’t agree on a name for their second child, and were getting more and more frustrated with the situation. They were having particular problems reaching agreement on a girl’s name, with Kate preferring something traditional like Clara, and Steve fancying something more modern, like Zara.

In the end, they had a boy instead. Kate chose the name Lewis, and after some thought, Steve decided he liked it; it makes a nice match with their daughter Madeline.

Now Kate and Steve are expecting their third child in a few months. Having already named two children, they are much more relaxed about the whole thing this time, but are still interested in hearing other people’s opinions.

If the baby is a boy, the name chosen for him is Ted William. They don’t want a long form for his name, because while Kate loves the name Theodore, Steve hates it, and though Steve doesn’t mind Edward, Kate detests all Ed- names. However, both of them love the name Ted.

When Kate told her mother that their son’s name will be Ted, grandma’s opinion was that the baby needed a “proper” first name, in order him to give him “options” in the future. Kate wonders what people think of Ted as a stand-alone name – is it okay, or is her mum right?

Once again however, they are finding girls names a bit trickier. I thought that Kate and Steve would be sorted for girls’ names in the future, because if Lewis had been a girl, Kate wanted the name Annabeth, and at the time, Steve liked it. However, since then, Steve has decided that Annabeth sounds “made up”, so that’s off the table now.

Originally, Kate wanted to name the baby Nell after her grandmother, but Steve couldn’t get on board with the idea. Their daughter Madeline calls the baby “Rosie“, which is rather interesting, because Rose was Steve’s first choice for Madeline’s own name, until he decided he loved Madeline instead. This has reminded Kate that she loves the name Rose too, and Steve seems okay with the idea.

However, Kate can’t find a middle name to go with it. Madeline and Lewis both have family names in the middle, but Kate can’t think of any more female family members she would like to honour. She considered Nell, after grandma, but Rose Nell doesn’t sound right to her. She’s racked her brain to think of a middle name that has some significance to her, and she can’t think of anything. Kate wonders, what middle name would sound nice with Rose?

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We’ll start off with the Ted-as-the-whole-name issue. Yes, I think Ted is perfectly fine as a name all on its own. It’s becoming quite a fashionable choice as a baby name, and although it’s not a common name, it’s by no means unusual either. It’s even a celebrity baby name, as Livinia Nixon has a little boy named Ted. I think Ted is already a “proper’ name, and a very nice one.

Besides, what other choice is there? Steve hates Theodore, you hate Edward: you can’t give a child a name that one of his parents loathes. It almost sounds as if your mum is saying that even though one of you hates a certain name, the one who draws the short straw should just suck it up for the good of the child and put it on the birth certificate anyway. Or does she mean you should make up a name that could be used as a long form of Ted, like Tedric or Teddington? Because I’m not sure those are “options” most kids want …

Just ask yourself which you would rather tell your son:

  1. We chose Ted as your name because it was a name both Dad and I loved.
  2. We chose Theodore as your name, even though Dad hates it, but Grandma said we needed a proper name for you, but don’t worry, we’ll call you Ted anyway so it’s not a problem and I expect Dad will get over it eventually. And you can always go by Theodore any time you want to make Dad cross and unhappy, so it’s nice that you’ve got that option.

To re-cap. You love Ted, Steve loves Ted, I love Ted, many people love Ted, and I bet anything that your mum ends up loving Ted too, once she meets her adorable grandson. Ergo, Ted is perfectly fine to put on the birth certificate all by itself. And I think Ted William does have options, because he can always use his middle name if he chooses.

I must say I just love the name Rose for you, and it seems like a perfect match with Madeline and Lewis, as names which are English, but with French origins. The story of it being chosen by Madeline is really charming, and has that “meant to be” quality which is so satisfying in a name.

For middle names, I wondered how you felt about using a name which is related to Nell, as a little nod to your grandmother? I know it’s not the same as using her exact name, but it does provide a link of some kind. I was thinking of Rose Eleanor or Rose Helena, or Rose Elena if you wanted something more modern-sounding – I remember Steve was quite keen on Eleni at one point.

I also thought, if Steve originally liked Annabeth but then thought it was too contrived, what about similar names? Maybe Annabel/Annabelle, or Elizabeth/Elisabeth. Or what about a middle name similar to your own name, such as Rose Katherine or Rose Catherine – if there’s no one left to honour in the family, why not honour yourself?

You could also use Nell as a second middle name, if you weren’t keen on Rose Nell. For example, maybe Rose Katherine Nell or Rose Elisabeth Nell, as a way to break it up. Although I seem to recall that Steve hates the name Nell anyway, so perhaps he wouldn’t like it even as a middle name.

And if none of those ideas appeal to you and Steve, there’s nothing wrong with just picking a middle name that sounds nice with Rose, such as Rose Amelia, Rose Evangeline, Rose Lucinda, Rose Matilda, Rose Olivia, or Rose Victoria, for example. With a short name like Rose, a longer name would sound attractive, and make a nice rhythm with your two-syllable surname. Although Rose is so pretty I can’t imagine how you could mess it up – almost anything would sound nice as a middle name to Rose.

Good luck, Kate and Steve – I think once again you are going to come up with a lovely baby name, whether you have a second son or a second daughter.

UPDATE: The baby was a boy, and his name is Ted!

POLL RESULTS
Is Ted acceptable as a full name?
91% of people polled thought that Ted was acceptable as a full name. 42% said of course it was okay, as Ted was a great name, 29% admitted that they would prefer Ted to have a long form, but could see that wasn’t possible in this instance, while 20% thought Ted was just fine. That left 9% of people in grandma’s corner, and adamant that Ted could only be used as a nickname.

Best Middle Name for Rose
A name similar to Nell eg Eleanor or Helena 51%
Any name that sounds nice with Rose 22%
Rose Nell 11%
Rose ___ Nell 11%
A name similar to Kate, such as Catherine 3%
A name similar to Annabeth, such as Annabelle or Elizabeth 2%

(Picture shows the cover of Big Ted and Friends, starring Playschool‘s Big Ted)