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Waltzing More Than Matilda

~ Names with an Australian Bias of Democratic Temper

Waltzing More Than Matilda

Tag Archives: dated names

Famous Names: Barry and Gladys

07 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by A.O. in Famous Names

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

birth notices, British names, dated names, famous namesakes, fictional namesakes, Irish names, locational names, name history, name meaning, name popularity, names from comics, names from films, nicknames, Norman names, royal names, saints names, Scottish names, surname names, Welsh names

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Last month, New South Wales Liberal Premier Barry O’Farrell resigned from his position during a NSW Independent Commission Against Corruption investigation into Australian Water Holdings. Barry denied receiving a $3000 bottle of Grange Hermitage from a AWH executive and failing to declare it, but a thank you note in his handwriting, even mentioning the 1959 vintage of wine (the year of Barry’s birth), was presented to ICAC as evidence.

Minister for Transport Gladys Berejiklian was Barry O’Farrell’s choice for his successor, but in the end she settled for Deputy to Premier Mike Baird, and was rewarded by being made Minister for the Hunter region.

New South Wales is not unaccustomed to these political scandals. The former Labor Premier resigned from his shadow ministry roles due to a personal affair, and a former Liberal Party leader resigned in tragic circumstances several years ago. The new Premier is now watching his ministry become engulfed in a cash-for favours scandal which has also damaged the NSW Labor Party, and is creating anxiety for the Federal government as well. Expect more scalps.

Barry can be seen as an Anglicised form of the Irish name Bairre, a short form of Finnbarr or Barrfind, meaning “fair hair”. It can also be an Anglicised form of the Irish name Berach, derived from a Gaelic word meaning “sharp”, and often glossed as “spear”.

There are five Irish saints named Finnbarr, with the best known being a 6th century monk who created a centre of learning in the city of Cork. Saint Barrfind (known by a confusing variety of spellings of his name) is a 6th century Irish saint who legend says was a disciple of Saint Columba, and said to have voyaged to North America, serving as an inspiration for Saint Brendan the Navigator. Saint Berach was a 6th century Irish saint who was a disciple of Saint Kevin.

The Barry surname can be derived from these names, such as O’Baire, meaning “son of the fair haired one”. But most Irish Barry families got their surname from the Normans, because de Barri was a knight who came over during the Norman Conquest of Ireland. The name comes from the village of LaBarre in Normandy, whose name may mean “gateway, barrier”.

However, the aristocratic de Barry family, Normans settled in Wales, received their name from ownership of Barry Island, whose name seems to come from the Welsh for “hill”, although it’s often said to be named after Saint Baroc, a British saint who had a chapel on the island. The Scottish Barrys take their name from a place name in Angus which also means “hill”.

Barry has been used as a first name in Ireland and England (and more rarely, Wales and Scotland) since at least the 18th century, and due to immigration from Ireland, became known in the Americas and Australia as well.

A famous Australian namesake is comedian Barry Humphries, who created the character of naively ocker Barry McKenzie for a Private Eye comic strip in the 1960s. In the 1970s films, Barry McKenzie is the nephew of Humphries creation Edna Everage, and played by Australian singer Barry Crocker. Perhaps due to this trio of Barrys, and Barry McKenzie’s rich Australian slang (mostly made up), Barry is often perceived as a very Aussie name. This does have some validity, because Barry peaked higher in popularity here than elsewhere.

Barry was #121 in the 1910s, and joined the Top 100 in the 1920s at #84. It peaked in the 1940s at #10, and left the Top 100 in the 1970s – perhaps the Barry Mackenzie films weren’t a help to it? Barry last ranked in the 1990s, but just two years ago I saw a birth notice for a baby Barry, so it is still in occasional use. Bazza or Baz are the traditional nicknames, although Baz Luhrman is not a Barry.

Gladys is a modern form of the medieval Welsh name Gwladus, traditionally identified as a Welsh form of Claudia, although it may come from the Old Welsh word for “country, nation, realm”, with connotations of sovereignty and rulership over the land.

The name Gwladus was used amongst royalty and nobility in medieval Wales, and Saint Gwladys (often called Saint Gladys) was the beautiful daughter of a legendary Welsh king who married another king, also a saint (somehow he managed to fit raiding and robbery onto his CV). The saintly couple had a number of children who were saints as well. According to legend, Gwladys and her family knew King Arthur, and lived in the woods as hermits, with a strict regimen of vegetarianism, cold baths, and chastity.

The name Gladys became well known outside Wales in the 19th century, when English author Ouida used it for a character in her novel Puck. In the book, Gladys is a farm girl who becomes a gifted actress; angelically beautiful, she manages to be both pure and passionate. Apart from this attractive namesake, the nickname Glad seems cheerful, and Gladys may have reminded some parents of gladiolus flowers (the familiar “gladdies” so beloved of Dame Edna Everage).

Gladys was #8 in the 1900s, left the Top 100 in the 1940s, and hasn’t ranked since the 1950s. There was a very famous Australian singer named Gladys Moncrieff, an absolute superstar for decades, known as “Australia’s Queen of Song”, and “Our Glad”. She started her career as “Gladys the Wonder Child” in the 1900s, and was still holding farewell concerts in the 1960s, laden with awards and honours on every side. The name Gladys disappeared from the charts around the same time she retired, but must have remained in some use, for Gladys Berejiklian was born in 1970.

Gladys was very popular once – as popular as Ava is now. In its day it was fashionable, and must have been seen as fresh, pretty, and charming. It is now generally viewed as an “ugly old lady name”, and often cited as an example of a name that can never be brought back, like an unlovely corpse with DO NOT REVIVE scrawled across its chest.

I think most of us are realistic enough to know that our daughters’ names – so popular, fashionable, fresh, pretty, and charming at present – will probably become “old lady names”, given enough time. We know there will be wrinkled Madisons, widows-humped Khaleesis, Willows with hip replacements, and Arias doting over their great-grandchildren, and their names’ image will change to match their senior status.

But names like Gladys are a looming spectre – what if our daughters’ names don’t just become old lady names, but ugly old lady names? Names that people hate, shudder with horror to think they were ever used, and vow will never be used again? And what popular names of today will be the “ugly old lady names” of the next century, I wonder?

POLL RESULT
Barry received an approval rating of 17%, making it the lowest-rated boys’ name of 2014, and the lowest-rated name overall. 45% of people thought that Barry was a terrible name, and only one person loved it. Gladys did slightly better, with an approval rating of 25%, but 46% of people hated the name.

(Photo of Barry O’Farrell and Gladys Berejiklian from The Sydney Morning Herald)

 

Girls Names From the Top 100 of the 1920s

04 Sunday May 2014

Posted by A.O. in Name Themes and Lists

≈ 5 Comments

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African names, animal names, Arthurian names, Berber names, British names, celebrity baby names, classic names, created names, dated names, Egyptian names, english names, European name popularity, fictional namesakes, gemstone names, germanic names, Greek names, Irish names, Latin names, Libyan names, locational names, mythological names, name history, name meaning, name popularity, names from movies, names from television, nature names, nicknames, Old English names, Old French names, Old Irish names, retro names, saints names, Sanskrit names, scandinavian names, surname names, underused classics, unisex names, Welsh names, Yiddish names

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The data on popular names are all in, but maybe none of the current Top 100 names interest you. Or perhaps you are dismayed at how much your favourite names went up in popularity last year. If so, why not look at the popular names of ninety years ago, to see if there are some gems from times gone by that are ready to shine again?

Agnes
Agnes of Rome was a 3rd century child martyr. According to tradition, she was a member of the Roman nobility, raised in a Christian family, and a very beautiful young girl. She is said to have been only twelve or thirteen when she died, and like Saint Catherine, is one of the patrons of young girls; the eve of her feast day was a time for girls to perform rituals to discover their future husbands. The name Agnes was very popular in the Middle Ages; one of its attractions was probably that in medieval English it was softened into Annis, so that it sounded as it was related to Anne. The name Agnes is from the Greek for “pure”, but because it sounds similar to the Latin for “lamb”, agnus, Saint Agnes is often depicted holding a lamb. Agnes was #28 for the 1900s, and by the 1920s had fallen to #77. It left the Top 100 in the 1930s, and hasn’t ranked since the 1940s, but is now getting some use again. This soft, elegant name has been chosen for their daughter by several celebrities, including Jennifer Connolly. It is the name of a little girl in the movie Despicable Me, and currently popular in Scandinavia. It feels as if Agnes is already making a comeback.

Beryl
Gemstone name; beryls are stones which in pure form are colourless, but usually tinted by impurities in a variety of shades. Green beryls are called emeralds, and light blue ones are aquamarines, but all colours of beryl have their own name. The word beryl is ultimately from Sanskrit, probably derived from the town of Belur in southern India. Beryl has been used as a first name since the 17th century, but only became popular during the 19th, along with other gemstone names. Historically, it has been used as a male name too, mostly in the United States, perhaps as a variant of the surname Berrill (an occupational name from the wool trade), and the Yiddish name Berel (pet form of Ber, “bear”). Beryl was #61 in the 1900s, and peaked in the 1920s at #8. It left the Top 100 in the 1950s and hasn’t ranked since the 1960s. Beryl is the bossy cook in Downton Abbey, and the evil queen in the Sailor Moon cartoons. This would make a daring gemstone revival, and offers the nickname Berry.

Elva
Variant of the Scandinavian girl’s name Alva, or an Anglicised form of the Irish unisex name Ailbhe, pronounced like Alva, and one of the influences on the name Elvis. You could see Elva as a specifically feminine form of Elvis, and the Irish origin seems most likely in Australia. Elva was #160 for the 1900s, and peaked in the 1920s at #97, before falling steeply; it last ranked in the 1950s. Elva was a “trendy” name in its day, but its relative obscurity has saved it from seeming dated. I have seen several babies named Elva recently, and it doesn’t seem out of place amongst the Evas and Avas.

Gwendoline
Variant of the Welsh name Gwendolen, first used for a legendary queen of Britain by Geoffrey of Monmouth in his History of the Kings of Britain. According to this legend, Gwendolen was the daughter of King Corineus of Cornwall. She defeated her husband after he repudiated her in favour of his mistress; he was killed in battle, and Gwendolen had the mistress drowned. She then took the throne as the first independent queen of the Britons, and ruled for fifteen peaceful years. Gwendolen appears in Edmund Spenser’s The Faerie Queene, and in the poems of William Blake, as a symbol of British sovereignty. Gwendolen has been translated as “white ring, white bow”, although it may have been an attempt to Latinise another Welsh name. Geoffrey re-used the name Gwendolen for the name of Merlin’s wife in his Life of Merlin. Gwendolen and Gwendoline were revived in the Victoria era as part of the fascination with Arthurian names, and names from British legend. Gwendoline was #68 in the 1900s, and peaked in the 1920s at #35. It left the Top 100 in the 1940s, and hasn’t ranked since the 1950s. It still receives occasional use, and has an upper-class British feel to it, while giving Gwen and Winnie as nicknames.

Hilda
Originated as a short form of Germanic names with hild in them, meaning “battle”. Hilda of Whitby was a 7th century saint from Northumberland, and her name in Old English is Hild. Born into royalty, she was baptised as part of the mission by Pope Gregory the Great to convert the English to Christianity. Hilda became a nun, then founded a monastery at Whitby (it was in the Celtic style, where men and women lived separately, but worshipped together). Hilda is described as a woman of great intelligence and energy, a fine abbess and teacher, so wise that rulers came to her for advice, yet caring towards ordinary people. Hilda was #27 in the 1900s, and #71 by the 1920s; it left the Top 100 by the 1930s, and hasn’t ranked since the 1940s. Hilda is a popular name in Sweden, giving this name a sexy Scandinavian feel as well as a sturdy English one; it doesn’t seem radically different from Heidi, and is even slightly like Matilda. It would be an unusual choice, but by no means a strange one.

Kathleen
Anglicised form of Cáitlin, the Irish form of Catelin, the Old French form of Catherine. The Irish Cáitlin can be said kat-LEEN, so it’s just a step to Kathleen. This name has a very Irish association, for Kathleen Ni Houlihan is an emblem of Irish nationalism representing the country of Ireland. She is usually depicted as an old woman who has lost her home and her lands, needing young men willing to fight and die for her. Once she has been rejuvenated by their martyrdom, she appears young and beautiful, and proud as a queen. It combines myths of both paganism and Christianity, and Kathleen Ni Houlihan has appeared in folk songs and poems, and the literary works of William Butler Yeats, Lady Augusta Gregory, Sean O’Casey, and James Joyce, amongst others. The name Kathleen was #10 in the 1900s, peaked in the 1910s at #5, and was #11 by the 1920s. A long time favourite, it didn’t leave the Top 100 until the 1990s, but hasn’t ranked since the late 2000s. Despite being out of fashion, this name was popular for more than eighty years, and still seems fresh and wholesome, with a hint of Irish charm.

Mabel
Short form of Amabel, from the Latin name Amibilis, meaning “lovable”. There were both male and female saints named Amabilis, and the female one is often known as Saint Mable to prevent confusion. Mabel was a popular name in the Middle Ages, and is found in a range of variant spellings; it is thought that it was originally said MAB-ell rather than the current MAY-bel. Mabel became rare in England, but remained in use in Ireland, where it was used to Anglicise the name Maeve. It was revived in the 19th century when Charlotte M. Yonge used it in her best-selling romance, The Heir of Reclyffe, for a character with an Irish background. Mabel was #30 in the 1900s, and had fallen to #90 by the 1920s, leaving the Top 100 the following decade. Mabel left the charts in the 1950s, but returned in the late 2000s. This retro name has plenty of spunk, and although it isn’t popular yet, don’t be surprised if it is again some day.

Monica
Saint Monica was the mother of Augustine of Hippo. A devout Christian, it was her dearest wish for her pagan son to become one as well, and after seventeen years her prayers were answered when he was converted by Saint Ambrose. Of course Augustine went the whole hog and ended up a saint, and a doctor of the church as well. Saint Monica was rather neglected after her death, but her cult became popular during the Middle Ages. Monica was from Libya and her name a Berber one that was common at the time; it is derived from the Libyan god Mon, a form of Amon, one of the most important of the Egyptian gods. In the Middle Ages, the origins of her name being unknown, it was decided that it must come from monere, Latin for “to advise, to warn”. Although this neatly tied in with Saint Monica’s story, it was etymologically incorrect. Monica was #141 in the 1900s, and peaked in the 1920s at #91; it had a minor peak in the 1990s at #127, coinciding with the sitcom Friends, which had the character of Monica Geller. Monica has never left the charts, but never been higher than the bottom of the Top 100, making it a genuine underused classic. It still sounds slightly exotic, and makes a pretty, sophisticated choice that’s never been common.

Peggy
Short form of Margaret, meaning “pearl”. It’s a variant of Meggy which has been in use since medieval times. Peggy first ranked in the 1910s at #189, and peaked in the 1920s at #63. It fell sharply, leaving the Top 100 by the following decade, and hasn’t ranked since the 1980s. Peggy is now staging a comeback, as it fits in perfectly with the trend for vintage and retro short forms. The ambitious career woman Peggy Olsen from Mad Men is a feminist icon, and this name has been chosen as a celebrity baby name by both MP Jacinta Allan, and media personality Chrissie Swan.

Una
Anglicised form of Úna, a medieval Irish name believed to come from the Old Irish for “lamb”. In Irish mythology, Úna was a fairy queen, wife of Finnbheara, the high king of the fairies. It is pronounced OO-na, and was sometimes Anglicised to Agnes, because of the lamb connection, as well as Winnie or Juno, based on similar sounds. Una is also a name created by Edmund Spenser for his epic poem, The Faerie Queene. In the allegory, Una represents the “True Church” (Protestantism), and defeats the representation of the “False Church” (Catholicism). Spenser seems to have based her name on the Latin for “one” (to reference unity and a single choice of faith); the name is said YOO-na. However, Spenser wrote his poem while living in Ireland, and it is hard not to wonder if he had been influenced by the Irish name. Una was #94 in the 1900s, and peaked in the 1920s at #69, leaving the Top 100 the following decade. It hasn’t ranked since the 1940s, but this name is really quite beautiful, and with its clear simplicity, doesn’t seem odd next to Ava and Mia.

POLL RESULTS
The public’s favourite names were Mabel, Gwendoline and Agnes, and their least favourite were Monica, Hilda and Beryl.

(Picture shows women holidaying at Palm Beach in Sydney in the 1920s; photo from the State Library of New South Wales)

Famous Names: Rhonda and Ketut

15 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by A.O. in Famous Names

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Balinese names, dated names, fictional namesakes, locational names, name history, name meaning, name popularity, names from songs, names of rivers, unisex names, Welsh names

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For months, Australia has been avidly following the unfolding romance between a redheaded Australian woman who meets a flirtatious local on a Balinese beach, a younger man working as a waiter. Sparks fly, there is unmistakable chemistry … and something surely happens between them. Or has Rhonda read too much into the situation, her brain fevered from multiple viewings of Eat, Pray, Love?

It sounds like the plot of a soap opera, but we’ve actually been watching a clever series of car insurance commercials from AAMI. Rhonda saved so much money on car insurance that she was able to take a holiday, and it was here that the handsome Ketut pressed exotic drinks on her, and who knows what else. Back home, she found herself gaining the attentions of smooth Trent Toogood at her high school reunion, leaving us wondering if her destiny was Trent or Ketut … or if Ketut was nothing more than a fantasy.

The advertisements have captured the public’s imagination, with several fan pages on Facebook to Rhonda and Ketut’s relationship, and tribute tee-shirts being sold in Bali, reading Rhonda is Mine, and Kiss Me Ketut. Lines such as “beautiful brake foot” and “hot like a sunrise” have entered the popular consciousness, and according to Twitter denizens, if you’re australian and rhonda and ketut aren’t your otp there is something v wrong with u.

The public were invited to vote on whether Rhonda should find eternal bliss with either Trent or Ketu (happy singledom not an option). There wasn’t much doubt that there was nothing v wrong with us and that Team Ketu would win, and Rhonda finally found the happy ever after to her unexpected holiday romance.

AAMI have sensibly said they aren’t going to continue Rhonda and Ketut’s story in case people get sick of it, so the loved-up couple won’t be buying home insurance together or honeymooning in Fiji with all the money they saved on life insurance. AAMI increased its sales by almost 22% during the Rhonda-Ketut story line, so it’s a happy ending for them as well.

Rhonda is a modern Welsh name taken from the Rhondda Valley, once a coal mining area with strong community ties. It has been used since the 19th century, and Rhondda seems to be the older spelling in Wales. Rhondda may be from the Welsh for “recite, recount”, related to the Old Irish for “speech”, with the suggestion that the River Rhondda is speaking aloud (in the sense that we say a river is “babbling”). The meaning is usually glossed as “noisy”.

Rhonda first charted in the 1920s, debuting at #371. It soared in popularity during the 1930s, and made the Top 100 by the 1940s. It peaked in the 1950s at #29, then declined; even the Beach Boys song Help Me Rhonda doesn’t seem to have aided it in the 1960s (it may have possibly damaged the name’s popularity). It was out of the Top 100 by the 1970s, and hasn’t charted since the 1990s.

Rhonda is a dated name, with even the Rhonda in the AAMI commercials given the name when it was already out of fashion (the character is 39). Yet there’s something rather appealing about Rhonda – it’s not glamorous, but seems honest, friendly and good-hearted. I don’t think the advertising campaign is likely to boost Rhonda, but it’s a likeable 1950s name with plenty of warmth.

Ketut (keh-TOOT) is a common Balinese name meaning “fourth-born”; like all Balinese names, it is unisex. It’s a suitably humble name for Rhonda’s hunky waiter, but both characters have names which reference cars – Ketut sounds like the toot of a horn, while Rhonda has Honda in it.

We fell in love with Rhonda and Ketut – but do we love their names?

POLL RESULTS
Rhonda received an approval rating of 44%, and Ketut was further behind with 34%.

Why Your Child Will Hate Their Name

22 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by A.O. in Your Questions Answered

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

baby name advice, baby name books, choosing baby names, classic names, created names, dated names, Google, honouring, name forums, name image, name popularity, name studies, names from television, popular names, pseudonyms

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How can I pick a name my child won’t hate?

That’s the question somebody typed into a search bar, and Google knows how, ended up on my blog. Here’s the kicker: you can’t. There’s no name, no matter how tastefully chosen, that comes with a guarantee that your child won’t one day hate it to bits.

I know people with what I see as very nice names (nicer than mine, in my opinion) who hate them with a bewildering passion, while people who have what I consider very boring or even ugly names are deeply grateful to their parents for choosing them. We all have different tastes.

I do know quite a few people who hate their names, and if you hang out on name forums, you don’t have to look hard to find others who have become disgruntled with their names. While everyone has their own personal quirks, over the years I have noticed a few things they tended to have in common.

These are often not the things that baby name articles warn you about. For example, a popular belief is that a “weird name” is sure to be hated by the bearer, who will be teased in the playground and come to loathe their name, their parents, and probably the whole world.

I haven’t noticed this to be the case, with most owners of unusual names enjoying, or at least coming to terms with them. I have never met anyone with an unusual name who legally changed it to something more mundane, even those who professed to find it a bit of a pain sometimes. At most, they adopted a pseudonym when booking restaurants.

Another piece of advice often handed out is that a “bizarre” name spelling will be such a nuisance that the bearer will undoubtedly wish that their parents had gone with something more traditional. Again, I don’t find that to be generally true. Some people with unusually spelled names loathe them, while others are delighted by them.

I know someone with a very unintuitive name spelling (think Veeruyniiikkarh for Veronica), and she loves that every letter in her name was individually chosen by her mum, with each one having a specific personal meaning. I thought it would be the most tremendous nuisance to have to spell out every time, but she assures me that she doesn’t mind at all. “It makes me feel special that my name gets so much attention”. For her, holding up queues is an ego-massage.

As I can’t tell you how to pick a name your child won’t hate, I thought I would least explain why they may end up hating it.

They hate themselves

Research has shown that people with high self-esteem tend to like their own name, and the higher their sense of self-worth, the more they liked their name. That suggests that people who dislike their own name may suffer from self-esteem issues.

You might assume that someone who dislikes their name would arrogantly think it not good enough for them, but sometimes it seems to be the other way around – they don’t think they are good enough for their names.

“It’s a popular girl name, it’s just not me”; “It’s too pretty for me carry it off”; or the most tragic I heard, “It sounds like the name of a happy normal person”.

To give your child the best chance of liking their name, make sure that they have high self-esteem. Convince them that they are pretty, popular, happy and normal enough for their name.

Their name is going downhill

A lot of parents worry about popularity; nearly always that the name is “too popular” to use, or is going to be too popular in the future.

However, I’ve noticed that the majority of people who dislike their names were given names that were either falling in popularity when they were born, or hitting their peak, so that they had begun falling by the time they started school.

Not only that, but the level of dislike appears to correlate with how steeply the name rose and fell. Names with a very obvious peak and trough, dating them to a particular era, seem to be the most disliked.

It doesn’t necessarily seem to be the most popular names that are disliked so much as those which display this pattern. For example, Sarah was the #1 name of the 1980s, yet I rarely hear Sarahs complain bitterly about their name. Could that be because Sarah is a classic which is still in the Top 40, so we don’t think of it as a “typical 1980s name”?

I don’t often hear anyone identify the trajectory of their name’s popularity as the reason for their dissatisfaction. They all have what appear to be good reasons for their dislike: it’s unattractive, it’s boring, it doesn’t suit them. Yet somehow it seems to be names falling in popularity which are perceived as ugly, boring, and not suiting their owners.

People given names that were already dated and out of style at the time of their birth (“old people” names) usually say that they hated their name as a child, but now they’re grown up, they appreciate it’s different from the usual names of their generation.

That may because such names sometimes begin to come back into fashion when they are adults. For example, someone born in the 1980s named Florence would have had a dated name, as it peaked in the 1900s. But now it is fashionable and rising in popularity – suddenly Florence has a cool name.

I do think popularity is worth considering – but not to cross off a name because it’s hit a particular point in the charts. Of course, you can’t know how a name will perform in the future, but you can at least see how it’s doing now. Has it maintained its position over several decades? Has it suddenly “come out of nowhere”? Is it already falling steeply? This information might help you choose between different names.

They hate the reason you chose their name

If someone really loves their name, I don’t think a bad name story will seriously ruin it for them, but if someone is already lukewarm, a bad one can add insult to injury. The factors that seem to get people’s goats are a perceived randomness, casualness, or lack of thought in the way their name was selected.

When you tell your child how you chose their name, stress how important it was to you and how much you love their name. If you chose their name from a baby name book, or a TV show, for example, make sure they understand that it wasn’t just by chance you chose their name. Whatever it was that made you fall in love with the name, express it. And don’t wait until they’re a moody teen or resentful adult to share the good news – they should know from an early age how special you think their name is.

I know a lot of people who disliked their names, and were even thinking of changing them, until their parents explained how much love and care had gone into choosing it. Teenagers who thought their parents had unimaginatively picked a popular name found that they had been named after a much-loved relative. A “made up” name that seemed “random” was the result of putting together the initials of their parents’ best friends who introduced them. And sometimes just knowing it was a name their parents loved above all others was enough to reconcile someone to a name they had thought ordinary.

The bottom line: everyone wants their name to be meaningful. Show your child that theirs is.

You hate your name

In some cases, disliking names seems to run in the family. Quite a number of women I know who dislike their names tell me that their mother was also unhappy with her own name. This may be from parental modelling. Just as mothers who constantly moan about their flabby thighs tend to have daughters with body image problems, it could be that mothers who dislike their name unconsciously send the message to their children to focus on anything about their name that fails to please.

If you hate your own name, make peace with it. Don’t try to work out your own issues when choosing your child’s name. So many parents seem to think that because they hated being one of a dozen in their class their child’s name must be rare, or because they hated their nickname their child needs a “nickname proof” name.

It’s well intentioned, but the trouble is that you’ve made your child’s name story all about you. When you tell your child how you chose their name, the story shouldn’t include information about how you felt about your name. Don’t use your child’s name as an opportunity to fix the mistakes of the past.

They hate you

In rare but distressing cases, people reject their names because their relationship with their parents irretrievably breaks down. It’s not uncommon for them to change their names in order to signal a complete break from their family background, and it can also be so their parents can’t easily locate them.

I don’t think this is worth worrying about, because if it occurs, their name isn’t really the issue, and is the least of your problems.

POSTSCRIPT: I should add that most of my observations in regard to name dislike relate to women. It isn’t that I don’t know any men who dislike their names – I know a fair few who hated their name enough to legally change it, and I’ve read a lot of articles written by men on how much they dislike their name.

However, women and girls do seem to more openly express their feelings about their names, and it’s possible that they have subtler emotions toward their name, or are more likely to be analytical about them. Perhaps women are more likely to be “fussy” about their names than men. Whatever the reason, it seems to be easier to gather information about their feelings towards their names (at least for me).

POLL RESULTS
79% of people responding to the poll were generally satisfied with their name. 33% liked their name, 19% loved their name, 18% weren’t mad about their name, but could live with it, and 9% said that they used to dislike their name, but had changed their mind and now felt positive towards it.

However, 12% of people did hate their name, while 9% thought that hate was too strong a word to use, but they didn’t really like their names either.

The good news is, most of us have names that we are content with, and around 10% of people who don’t like their name will change their minds.

(Picture from Naver)

Waltzing with … Neville

24 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by A.O. in Waltzing with ...

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Bonner - 700_tcm16-37336Today is Palm Sunday, which commemorates the triumphal ride into Jerusalem by Jesus about a week before the Resurrection. The people hailed him as if he were a victorious king, laying palm branches in his path. We already know that James Cook named the Whitsunday Islands and Trinity Beach after important days in Easter-tide, and on Palm Sunday 1770, he named the Palm Islands in northern Queensland after the day. After World War I Palm Island became an Aboriginal settlement, where the government maintained a repressive control over the Indigenous population.

On March 28 it will be 91 years since Aboriginal activist and Jagera elder Neville Bonner was born, and another tie-in with this time of year is that Neville once lived on Palm Island. Born on a small Aboriginal island settlement in northern New South Wales, he never knew his father and received almost no formal education. After working as a farm labourer, he moved to Palm Island with his family in 1946, and became assistant overseer of the settlement.

His time on Palm Island gave him both an interest and experience in politics, and after moving to Ipswich in 1960, he became the president of moderate indigenous rights organisation One People of Australia League, and an office holder in the Liberal Party. He was the first indigenous Australian politician, and elected senator in his own right four times.

Neville was appointed to the board of the ABC, and the council of Griffith University, which also awarded him an honorary doctorate. In 1979 he was named Australian of the Year, and in 1984 appointed as Officer of the Order of Australia. After his death, the Neville Bonner Memorial Scholarship was created for Indigenous students to take honours in political science. There is a Queensland electorate and a Canberra suburb of Bonner, named after him.

Neville is an English surname which was introduced to Britain by the Normans, and refers to a French place name in Normandy, either Neuville or Neville. Both places mean “new settlement” in Old French, and are common names of towns in France.

The House of Neville is an aristocratic English family which can trace its lineage back to Anglo-Saxon times. Although they married into the Norman nobility and assumed a Norman surname, the male line of the family had been ruling landowners in Northumbria since before the Conquest, with their ancestral seat near Durham, and were already wealthy and powerful in their own region.

The Nevilles continued to gain power, often appointed to prestigious royal offices and administrative roles. Ralph Neville was one of the founding members of the Peerage of England, being one of those summoned to sit in the House of Lords when it was established in 1294, and by the 14th century the family owned large tracts of the north of England.

They married into the royal family, but lost a great deal of power by getting involved in the War of the Roses, and also backing the wrong horse by supporting Mary, Queen of Scots instead of Elizabeth I (the Nevilles also claimed descent from one of the royal families of Scotland). Although their glory days were over, the Nevilles continued gaining earldoms and baronies through a junior line of the family, and they are still members of the peerage.

Neville can be found used as a first name from the 16th century, but remained extremely rare until the 18th century. Given that the Nevilles were so powerful in the north, you might expect to find the name greatly more common there than in the southern counties, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. It did appear to originate in Lincolnshire though, which is one of the many areas where the Nevilles owned estates and had loyal political supporters.

In Australia, Neville just squeezed onto the Top 100 of the 1900s at #99. It continued rising and peaked in the 1920s (when Neville Bonner was born) at #30; it didn’t leave the Top 100 until the 1960s, missing out by only a few places at #104. Neville hasn’t charted at all here since the 2000s.

It is sometimes suggested that the character of Neville Longbottom from the Harry Potter books could help raise the popularity of this name; however, it seems that almost as soon as the first book was published, Neville disappeared from the charts altogether.

The trouble was that Neville Longbottom, although a good person and loyal Gryffindor, was not necessarily an attractive character to parents. Chubby, unpopular and low on self-esteem, he seemed to be dogged by the chronic bad luck suffered by the self-conscious and unconfident. He lost and forgot things, had minor accidents, was bullied by both students and teachers, and was a mediocre student except in Herbology.

In the fifth book, The Order of the Phoenix, it was revealed that Neville’s parents, brave and gifted warriors in the fight against Voldemort, had been tortured to madness and permanently institutionalised. Although this evoked enormous sympathy for Neville, it didn’t help to make his name seem more usable. Nobody was saying, “Yes, I’d love to name my child after a character with insane parents, I can really relate to that”.

With Harry’s encouragement, Neville’s skills as a wizard improve and his courage grows. Once out of Harry’s shadow, he becomes the leader of the resistance group at Hogwarts, the protector of those younger and weaker, and a vital part of Voldemort’s downfall. He is the story’s alternate hero – brave, noble, kind, selfless, and pure-hearted.

Is this late blooming enough to rehabilitate Neville as a name? Or will parents continue to think of the awkward klutz that Neville is for most of the book series?

Neville is a dated name, but we have seen other old-fashioned names come back into use and even become popular. It’s a little clunky, and a tad geeky, but also solid and dignified. I often see Neville used as a middle name to honour a great-grandparent, and I wonder when someone might feel brave enough to use it up front again. Older people will find it almost irresistible to use the long-popular nickname “Nifty” Neville, but the standard Nev still sounds surprisingly dashing.

Name Combinations for Neville

Neville Anthony, Neville Charles, Neville Frederick, Neville John, Neville Peter, Neville Winston

Brothers for Neville

Edwin, George, Harold, Ralph, Stanley, Theodore

Sisters for Neville

Cecily, Emma, Flora, Isabel, Peggy, Susan

POLL RESULT: Neville received an approval rating of 69%. 26% of people liked the name Neville, and only 4% hated it.

(Photo shows Senator Neville Bonner 1979; image from the National Archives of Australia)

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