Category Archives: Naming Issues

The Historical Naming of British Monarchs

23 Sunday Dec 2012

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william-kate-canada-love5With the announcement early this month that Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their first child, the baby name blogosphere went slightly gaga. A few people even had a go at predicting the name of the royal baby, with Lou at Mer de Noms and Elisabeth at You Can’t Call It “It”! doing a great job. Of course, Kay at Nook of Names got a jump on all of us, and did her excellent analysis more than a year ago.

I’m going to admit right now that I don’t know what the royal baby will be named, and I can’t guess. I haven’t even been able to guess the baby names chosen by family and close friends, and these are people I know well.

But what I can do is to look at the names of the ruling monarchs of Britain and England (back to William the Conqueror), see how they were named, and then see what the royal baby might be called if the same principles were applied this time. As this gives a wide selection of choice, I have eliminated those names which seem  unlikely as they are still in use by other members of the royal family who have the title Prince or Princess, or which are too obviously “foreign”.

Although this doesn’t actually tell us what the baby will be called, as I studied the names of past monarchs, a few things stood out as to how they weren’t named.

  • Monarchs could be named for someone from several generations back, but almost none were named after a ruler from long ago in history. This makes the idea that the royal baby might be named after someone from many hundreds of years ago, such as Edmund or Matilda, seem rather fanciful.
  • Apart from being named after one of their parents, monarchs were almost never named after a relative who was still alive. For the baby princess to be named Elizabeth, for example, is by no means impossible, but would be historically unusual.
  • The Duchess of Cambridge is not the only commoner to marry a British royal, as the mother of Queen Anne was one. Although royal babies could be named after their commoner mother, they were not named after her relatives. If the royal baby is named after one of the Middletons, it would be a genuine break with tradition, and a sign we have entered a new age.
  • Only one female monarch was given a feminine form of a man’s name, with Queen Victoria named Alexandrina after her godfather, Alexander I of Russia (she didn’t keep the name after she became queen). The idea that the princess could be named Charlotte after Prince Charles, or Phillipa after Prince Phillip, would thus be a very unusual one.
  • The most obvious: nearly all English and British monarchs are named after a relative. The only two I could find who weren’t were Edward I and John. Edward I was named after Saint Edward the Confessor, which was considered wildly eccentric at the time, although Edward is now a traditional royal name. John was named after St. John the Baptist. Very much a younger son, he was not expected to rule, and interestingly his name was shunned by subsequent royalty – there was never a John II.
  • Apart from the occasional deceased uncle or foreign godparent, monarchs were nearly all named after a direct ancestor – a parent, grandparent or great-grandparent, for example. It’s fun looking through the royal family tree and wondering if the royal baby might be given the name of a great-great-great-aunt, or one of Queen Victoria’s sons, but this seems a very distant hope.

Now, with our expectations in check, let’s see what names are available, if we follow history.

POTENTIAL PRINCESSES

Alice

This seems to be almost everyone’s #1 choice for a baby princess, who would be named after her great-great grandmother, Princess Alice of Battenberg, the mother of Prince Philip. There have been four British princesses named Alice, but no queens – in fact, there are many more Queen Alices in fiction than in real life, giving this sweet name a distinct fairy-tale quality on a modern-day monarch.

Elizabeth

Elizabeth is seen as a front-runner, presumably because it’s thought Queen Elizabeth would happily endorse a tiny namesake. Princess Elizabeth would be named after both her great-grandmother and great-great grandmother, and as a bonus, Elizabeth is the middle name of the Duchess of Cambridge. There have been five English queens named Elizabeth, two of them rulers in their own right, and one Scottish Queen Elizabeth. However, as Queen Elizabeth II is still alive, this would be a historically unusual choice.

Diana

The favourite choice of the gossip magazines, and the name of the baby’s grandmother. When the royal couple visited our region, they were asked in an interview if they would call their first daughter Diana, and William said it would be one of her middle names. I actually think it would be nice if Diana was left for Prince Harry to use for his daughter’s first name, since Prince William got his mother’s engagement ring.

Mary

A solid choice that many are tipping, with the princess to be named after her great-great-great-great grandmother, Mary of Teck. There have been six British princesses named Mary, and four queens, two of them rulers; it’s also been used amongst Scottish royalty. Historically speaking, Mary stacks up extremely well.

Victoria

Another favourite choice for the baby princess, who would be named after her great-great-great-great-great grandmother, Queen Victoria. There has only ever been one queen with this name, but eight British princesses called Victoria – in fact it’s the birth name of Alice of Battenberg. A Victoria II would probably go down well with the British populace, although the Crown Princess of Sweden (related to the royal family) will be one day be Queen Victoria as well.

Catherine

Few seem enthusiastic about a baby Princess Catherine, but historically, it’s the most likely option. Eighteen monarchs have been named after a parent, and of the three queens who have ruled Britain, two of them were named after their mother – and the third one took her mother’s name, Victoria, as her regnal name. Queen Elizabeth II herself is named after her mother, Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyons. There have been five English queens named Catherine, and at least one of them, Catherine of Aragon, was deeply loved by her subjects.

Margaret

Margaret is a name from Scottish royalty, and a medieval Queen Margaret is one of the patron saints of Scotland. There has been only one English Queen Margaret, and she came to a sad end. A Princess Margaret would be named after Queen Elizabeth’s sister, and I somehow feel that this namesake, who attracted much scandal (whether deserved or not), would not be a help. However, one of Prince Philip’s sisters was named Margarita, and this is the English form of her name too.

Charlotte

A Princess Charlotte would be named after her great-great-great-great-great grandmother, Princess Charlotte of Denmark, whose birth name was Louise. There have been two British princesses called Charlotte; one of them went on to become a queen, but not of Britain. Lady Diana’s brother Charles had a daughter named Charlotte last year, who will be the royal baby’s second-cousin.

Henrietta

Queen Victoria is the only ruling queen to be named after a man – her godfather. We don’t know who will be the royal baby’s godfather, but traditionally the best man from the wedding is chosen as one of them, which makes Prince Harry a shoo-in. Could the princess be given the feminine form of his name? Unlikely, although there has been both a Queen and Princess Henrietta of Britain.

Augusta

A Princess Augusta would be named after her great-great-great-great-great grandmother, Princess Augusta of Hesse-Kassel (who was married to a Duke of Cambridge). There have been five British princesses named Augusta, and although a few of them were in line to one day become queen, by mischance none of them made it that far, giving this name an unlucky feeling for a monarch. This seems very unlikely as a possible royal baby name.

POSSIBLE PRINCES

George

Everyone’s #1 choice for a prince, and you can see why. It’s not only a traditional royal name, held by six British kings and three princes, but also one of the patron saints of England. Prince George could be named in honour of his great-great grandfather, King George VI, although that monarch’s birth name was Albert. The name is also a traditional one in the Spencer family, and Prince William has a cousin named George on the Spencer side, as well as a relative called George on the royal side, the Earl of St Andrews.

Alexander

This name was a traditional one in the monarchy of Scotland, but has never been used in England. The Prince could be named after his great-great-great-great grandfather, Prince Alexander of Hesse and by Rhine, and his great-great-great-great-great grandfather, Duke Alexander of Württemberg. There are two minor royals with this name, Alexander Windsor and Alexander Ogilvy, and a Spencer cousin, Alexander Fellowes, reportedly close friends with Princes William and Harry.

Louis

This is thought to have a reasonable chance of being selected, as Louis is one of Prince William’s middle names, and it’s a traditional one in the British royal family, although more often connected to the French monarchy. Prince Louis could be named after his great-great-great grandfather, Louis Mountbatten (formerly Prince Louis of Battenberg), and his great-great-great-great-great grandfather, Louis IV, Grand Duke of Hesse. However, some royal-watchers think that Louis Lopes, the toddler grandson of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, may scupper Louis as a royal name.

Frederick

This is sometimes mentioned as a possible baby name, because it is a traditional one in the royal family. Although there are three princes named Frederick in British history, there are no kings. Lord Frederick Windsor is the son of Prince and Princess Michael of Kent and there is a Spencer cousin named Frederick (the heir to the earldom); another family connection is that the Duchess of Cornwall has a baby grandson named Freddy. Prince Frederick could be named after his great-great-great-great-great grandfather, Friedrich, Duke of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg. Friedrich is an ancestor of both Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip.

Francis

This would greatly appeal to fans of Lady Diana, as it is the masculine form of her middle name, Frances. As such, it may not meet with the approval of Queen Elizabeth. However, the prince could be named after his great-great-great-great grandfather, Francis, Duke of Teck – the duke’s son is the only Prince Francis the royal family have had.

Nicholas

Very much an outside chance, for there has never been an English king or prince named Nicholas. There is a minor royal named Nicholas Windsor, but he is not in line to the throne. Prince Nicholas could be named after his great-great-great-great-great grandfather, Nicholas I of Russia.

Joseph

I consider this a very unlikely choice for the royal baby, who would be named after his great-great-great-great-great grandfather, Joseph, Duke of Saxe-Altenburg.

Albert

Queen Victoria longed to have a King Albert on the throne, but her dream was never realised, as even royals called Albert have preferred to take another regnal name. The prince could be named after his great-great grandfather, or after his great-great-great-great-great grandfather, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg, and as a bonus to Lady Diana fans, Albert was the name of her grandfather. I fear the genital piercing of this name has ruined the chances of another Prince Albert for some time.

Adolphus

Prince Adolphus was the great-great-great-great-great grandfather of the royal baby to be. Let’s face it – this name would go down like a lead balloon. It’s not happening.

John

Count John Hauke was another great-great-great-great-great grandfather. The British royal family avoid the name John, as it is supposedly an unlucky one for them. King John is a storybook villain, thanks to Robin Hood, and two Prince Johns died young. Diana wanted to call her eldest son John, after her father, but she was not allowed to because of this royal tradition.

What would you like the prince or princess to be named? And do you want the royal family to continue their naming traditions, or start creating new ones?

NOTE: Thank you to Elea from British Baby Names for explaining where King John got his name from.

My Top Five Name Blog-Related Peeves

14 Sunday Oct 2012

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This week was Pet Peeves Week (which I think only exists on the Internet), and several bloggers took the opportunity to get a few of life’s little annoyances off their chest, including Ebony at Babynameobsessed.

Many name bloggers say that they started out with some naming peeves, but that continual blogging about names tended to dilute or even reverse their irritation, leaving them with a great sense of well-being and peace. Maybe a couple of years ago they couldn’t stand matchy twin names, boyish names on girls, or attention-seeking celebrity baby names, but now they think Doris and Boris as twins is cool, Frederick is actually kind of spunky on a girl, and some minor celeb calling their kid Gusty Glock requires only an amused and tolerant chuckle in response.

To an extent I can relate, but to an even bigger extent I can’t, because while blogging about names may have finished off some of my pet peeves, it has given me a whole new bunch to get annoyed by. After some twenty months of blogging, I have got quite a few things that now grate on my nerves beyond all endurance. I’ve cut it down to only the top five though, in order not to grate on yours too much.

1. Reborners who call their reborn dolls “babies”

In case you don’t know, reborn dolls are baby dolls which are incredibly lifelike in appearance – so much so that they can be mistaken for an actual baby (and have been). Reborners are hobbyists who make and/or collect reborn dolls. I don’t any problems with reborn dolls, or those who make or own them. However, I do have a problem with calling them babies. Reborn dolls are not babies. They are dolls.

Each day I ask Google to trawl through the Internet for me and bring me information tagged with the word baby, and each day I get a stack of threads from reborn dolls forums or entries from reborning blogs.

People call other things their “baby”, and it doesn’t seem to bother me. If someone writes, I’ve been riding my baby all day, I somehow immediately understand they are referring to a motorcycle, and if someone says, My poor baby had to be locked outside, I get an automatic picture in my mind that it’s a dog they’re talking about. I skim past and go on to the next item.

But when I read, I sold my first baby on eBay!, My baby’s leg fell off and I can’t reattach it, or I just rooted my baby’s head (if not Australian, check slang guide as to why that’s so disturbing), I practically have a heart attack. Even knowing they mean a doll, I can’t stop the racing heartbeat, sweaty palms, nausea, and instinctive need to phone the police I’d feel if it was a real baby I was reading about.

I’ve asked Google to eliminate the words doll and reborn from the search, but of course, they don’t call their dolls “dolls”, they call them “babies”. Unless a baby poos, wees, needs to be fed, and wakes you up in the night, it’s not a baby, it’s a doll. Call it by its correct name.

2. Celebrity pregnancy stories in the media that go nowhere

When a story appears in the press announcing that a celebrity (or celebrity’s partner) is pregnant, I add them to my watchlist and ask Google to e-mail me when the baby is announced. Then months and months go by, and no baby story appears. Half the time I have to stalk them on Twitter to find out what the baby was called, and often I end up in a dead end.

I can’t see the point of teasing us with a celebrity pregnancy if we don’t get to find out if the baby is born and what its name is. I don’t know why they do this, but it’s very annoying. Follow through on celebrity pregnancies, newspapers!

3. The notion that baby names need to be short and simple, otherwise they will be too hard for children to spell when they reach school-age

This advice is constantly handed out, by parents on forums and even on professional baby name sites. It has to be the most depressing advice ever. Your poor baby isn’t even born yet, and already you are being told it will probably be too stupid to reach normal literacy levels by the age of five, and you’d better dumb its name right down.

I notice with further despondency that names for boys seem to be especially prone to this line of thought. Apparently girls can handle having a long name like Anastasia or Penelope, but a boy named Demetrius or Sebastian won’t be able to cope, and it’s better to call him something like Max or Liam.

We’re always being told that boys tend to lag behind girls in communications skills, and urged to make more effort to get our sons interested in reading and writing. Children tend to perform to expectation, and I can’t help but wonder if setting low goals for them while they’re still in the womb is the way to improve things.

Short names are great. Short names can be spunky and cool. If you choose a short, simple name for your baby, fantastic – as long as you do so because you love the name, and not because you think that’s all your idiot child can manage.

4. The father-son rule in Australian Rules Football

The AFL has a rule that the son of a senior player can be immediately recruited to the same club his father played for. The good news is that when a star player has a baby boy, it’s cause for enormous celebration and congratulations. The bad news is that when he has a baby girl, it is, at best, a big “meh”.

So often the names of footballer’s babies are not announced in the press, and when that happens, I know in my bones he had a daughter. Sadly, this always turns out to be true. If the media isn’t too interested, fans can be positively vicious to a newborn daughter of a man without sons.

Often the kindest comment you will read in fan forums is Better luck next time. I have read, not once or twice, but again and again, What a waste of good sperm, Throw it away and try again, If it has a [profane word for female genitalia] we don’t give a [profane], and the chilling, Maybe we can still breed from it.

I have found myself in tears of rage at these revolting comments; I can’t imagine what the parents’ reactions would be, and I hope they never read them. There may be many benefits to the father-son rule; frankly I don’t really care as the results of it are so sickening. Celebrating boys shouldn’t have to mean ignoring and denigrating girls.

5. Writers who pick bad names for their characters

Not everyone on a name website is looking for a name for their child – many are just interested in names and language in general, and there are lots of budding authors who want advice on picking character names.

Unfortunately, most of the time the way they pick character names is terrible. One of the most common clangers they make is to ask for a name “that means something”. I’m writing a story about a ballerina, and I need a name that means “dancer”. So her parents deliberately gave her a name meaning dancer, to make her become a dancer, and then it happened? If it worked that way, we’d all be calling our kids High Court Judge or Lottery Winner.

Another no-no is a character name which gives away what’s going to happen. I’m writing a fantasy story about a boy who ends up being able to control fire, what’s a name that means “fire” or “flame”? It’s not going to come as a huge shock to the reader if the character is basically called Mister Fireball, and then, amazingly, he turns out to be able to spit fireballs at will. It would seem pretty unlikely that a parent would give their kid a name with a particular meaning, and then by some astounding turn of fate, their name is what they become. Seriously, how many boys named Aidan do you know who possess a mystical power over fire?

My biggest peeve is probably when the character’s name is an obvious description of their personality, usually with protagonists given names meaning “kind”, “innocent”, “brave” and so on, while the bad guys end up with names meaning “cruel”, “evil”, or “slimy”. What parent would give their child a name which means “evil”? They would have to be so sick that if the person did end by going a bit wrong, you could only sympathise with them and put it down to the burden of being named Devious. If the heroine is called Pure Sweetangel, and her childhood pal is called Creepy Nastypants, any normal reader is going to be expecting that Creepy will turn out a bit of a rotter.

That’s the problem with naming characters – they shouldn’t look like an author named them, they should look as if their parents named them. Because that’s how people get named – by their parents. In other words, if your heroine is a sweet, simple girl, but her parents are pretentious jerks, then she won’t have a sweet simple name, but a pretentious jerky one. If she doesn’t, then you’ve got to explain why not (sweet simple godmother picked the name, family name handed down to every third daughter that’s left-handed, whatever).

Name your character the way a person is named, and then your character will seem like a person, not a character. Because no good reader wants to read a book peopled by characters. And you should only be writing for good readers. Bad readers have enough authors writing for them already.

A Quick Guide to Choosing Middle Names

29 Saturday Sep 2012

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Sometimes you easily choose the perfect baby name, but then get stuck on the middle name. This is especially the case if you don’t have any particular middle name ideas in mind, and feel that almost anything would do. If anything will do, that’s an awful lot of names to consider! Here’s a quick run through your major options:

Reuse and Recycle

If you made a list of baby names, after you’ve made your choice, you could choose one of the other names you loved but now can’t use as the middle name. This only works if you had different-sounding names on your list: if you were deciding between Kayla and Kaylee, or Tom and John, this option is probably not for you.

Genealogy

If you’re passionate about your family history, you may want to use names and surnames from generations ago, or the town/region that your ancestors came from.

Family and Friends

This is one of the most common middle name choices – using the name of someone important in your life as your child’s middle name. For beloved relatives who passed on before your child was born, it’s a lovely way to give your son or daughter a connection to them. You can also use your own name (including a mother’s maiden name) as a child’s middle name.

Cultural Heritage

If you identify with a particular culture, you may want a name that reflects that. You may not want to call your child Dmitrios or Sumi as their first name, but in the middle might be the perfect way to let them know their roots while still blending in.

Heroes

Is there someone you admire or who has been an inspiration in your life? Their name or surname could make a meaningful middle name. Be aware that if it’s someone very famous, your child may not necessarily welcome being identified with this person for life, so think carefully. Your hero may not be a person – one of my friends is a practitioner of Raja Yoga, and her son’s middle name is Raja.

Personal Associations

Recently we saw Brandi welcome her twin girls. One of her daughters has a middle name which means “blackberry” in Spanish, as this fruit has a very special meaning to Brandi and her husband. I think something like this is a great choice, because it’s a beautiful name story to share, and is private enough that other people won’t be able guess at what’s behind it.

Good Old Standards

These are those oft-used middle names, such as Anne, Elizabeth, Grace, Jane, Marie, May or Rose for girls, or Charles, James, John or Michael for boys. Although it’s fashionable to bag these out as “filler” names, let’s face it, they get used so much because they work so well. If you have absolutely no idea what middle name to use, these can be very useful, although they probably work best if they are also a family name or have some personal meaning to you. They’re also good for toning down an unusual first name.

Cool New Middles

There’s a new generation of “filler” names, often nature names like Bay, Bee, Frost, Lark, Plum, Snow, Star, Winter, Wren or virtue names like Love, Pax, True, and so on. Just as handy as the old standards, in that they go with a wide range of names, and many can be used for both genders. As with the old standards, I think these work best if they have some personal meaning to you.

Daring and Unusual

You might be too timid or commonsensical to use an unusual name for your child, but deep down you really love the idea of using something out of the ordinary – like Angel, Awesome, Cinderella, Danger, Hummingbird, Loveday, Magic, Miracle, Neo, Pirate, Sparkle, Tulip,or Rainbow. I feel that when it comes to the middle name position, almost anything goes, and you can really set your imagination free. These would be great for jazzing up a common or highly popular first name – there are many girls called Ava Rose, but not so many called Ava Sunshine.

Initialise It

If you have thought and thought until your brain hurts, and absolutely NO middle name comes to mind, you can always just use an initial, or two initials. Another solution is to spell the initials out, such as Fabian Cee Tee. Think about it carefully though – nobody wants to be named Jessie Pee or Jayden BJ. Make sure it doesn’t end up being an unwanted acronym, like BC or TV, and you may also want to check it’s not being used by a rapper, if only to avoid being asked, “Did you name him after the rapper?”.

Let Someone Help

Still stuck? Ask someone else to choose the name for you. Maybe your mum, or your pastor, or the baby’s older sibling, or put up a poll on Facebook. Everyone, even total strangers, will be flattered to be asked for their opinion. If they pick something awful, you’re not obligated to go with it, but it could get awkward if you reject their suggestion, so choose your helper carefully.

No Middle Name

Not an option. Okay, technically it is an option, since there is no legal obligation to provide one. But come on. Try harder.

NOTE: This isn’t a guide to choosing the perfect middle name, it’s just to get a middle name on the birth certificate, for parents who’ve been so busy choosing a name that the thought of choosing a second name is too overwhelming.

The Baby Name Stealing Olympics

05 Sunday Aug 2012

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As the Olympics are on, here is a light-hearted look at the competitive world of “name stealing”. Being a competition, I have sorted them into teams, and awarded each entrant a prize, which hopefully will fix their naming dilemmas.

These are not real situations or real people – and they are definitely not real names of real babies. I lurked in parenting forums and also quizzed people about baby name stealing they had witnessed or experienced (or even committed), and as themes came up repeatedly, made them into stock characters and plots. If you think you recognise someone you know (or yourself), it’s because these disagreements seem to repeat over and over again.

During my months of research, I noticed a few things about “name stealing”:

  • Younger parents seemed to be more concerned about name stealing than older ones (but possibly younger people are more likely to share their stories on the Internet).
  • People who appeared less educated seemed more concerned about name theft (but maybe educated people were less likely to speak openly about their personal affairs)
  • Parents-to-be who had chosen names that are fairly popular or well-known seemed to be most susceptible to fears about name theft, and the most upset about people stealing “their” name.
  • It was an almost entirely female preoccupation, with the few men involved usually being dragged into it by their partners, or stuck between two women. I did not find one example of two fathers fighting over names by their own initiative.
  • I didn’t notice any significant difference between the numbers of boys names and girls names that were believed to have been “stolen”, but my impression was that women were more likely to become attached to names they had chosen for a son, and more likely to become emotionally volatile if they felt the name was under threat. Perhaps coincidentally, the few times I saw men became involved in a baby name feud, it was over a daughter’s name.
  • The longer someone had liked a name, the more likely they were to feel ownership over it, and the more possessive they were in regards to it.
  • Family disagreements over baby names were more acrimonious than ones between friends – probably because it’s harder to escape from a family member than a friend. However, plenty of people became upset over a perceived name theft even from a distant acquaintance.
  • Disagreements in small communities were more heated than ones between people in big cities – again, probably because it’s harder to escape someone in a small town.
  • Feuds over baby names could be long-standing or even permanent, and in extreme cases, passed on to the next generation.
  • People who don’t believe that “name stealing” exists have almost zero sympathy for its “victims”. Astute Readers will be able to tell I belong to this sceptical group.

TEAM FACEBOOK FEUD

Claire and her partner Scott are expecting a baby boy, and after a lot of discussion, they eventually agree upon the name Zachariah. Claire wastes no time in announcing their decision on Facebook. To her surprise, she receives a hurt and angry message from one of her FB friends, Meagan. Meagan says that they all chose their favourite baby names back in high school, when they were 14, and Zachariah was her name! She demands that Claire change her choice of baby name, or she will de-friend her at once. Claire has no memory of any such discussion in high school, while Meagan doesn’t believe that Claire can have forgotten, and thinks she is a liar as well as a name-thief. Soon she decides that Claire has been plotting to steal the name Zachariah for the past eight years.

Awarded to Claire: First rights to the name Zachariah, and the suggestion to be more circumspect in her use of social media.

Awarded to Meagan: This Facebook page. Maybe it will help somehow.

TEAM “THE DOG STOLE MY BABY NAME”

Jo has let all her friends know that her expected baby boy will be named Oscar. To her indignation, next time she visits her pal Vanessa, she finds that she has named her new bulldog puppy Oscar. Vanessa says that it can’t be helped – her dog just looks like an Oscar. An enraged Jo is now looking for another baby name.

Awarded to Jo: A calculator, so she can subtract the length of a bulldog’s life from the length of a man’s, thus demonstrating her son would have 72 years where he wouldn’t be sharing his name with the dog.

Awarded to Vanessa: A box of puppy treats for Oscar.

TEAM NAME NAZI

Katrina spends a lot of time on baby name forums, and considers herself quite the expert. She often shares her 101 “name rules” with friends, and tries to impress upon them how much more knowledgeable she is about names, and how superior her tastes are. Katrina has over 400 baby name combinations collected in a Word file, which she likes to show friends, online and in real life. Of course, she cannot possibly use all of them, and she doesn’t have a partner or any plans to get pregnant as yet, but she is well and truly prepared for when it occurs. When her friend Gemma announces the name of her new baby girl, Katrina is shocked and angry to find that she has used Name Combination #219 without asking permission – Cleo Araminta Lilac. Apparently Gemma became so convinced that Katrina’s tastes were better than her own that using a name she had come up with seemed the only route possible.

Awarded to Katrina: The joy of seeing one of her name creations on a real live baby, and the suggestion that she get a blog so she can boss strangers around instead of her friends.

Awarded to Gemma: My congratulations on her new baby, and the suggestion that she try to develop her own own tastes, rather than allowing herself to be brainwashed.

TEAM FAMILY INTERFERENCE

David and his wife Karin are expecting a baby girl. At a family dinner party, David finds himself seated next to Karin’s formidable sister-in-law Felicia, who asks what names they have picked out. David explains they aren’t sharing them before the birth, to which SIL responds, “Well don’t even think about Scarlett – I’m using it if we ever have another girl, and you can’t have two Scarletts in one family”. David is disconcerted, because Scarlett is their first choice for their daughter. He now feels that if they go ahead and use it, they will be accused of name stealing the moment they announce the new baby’s name.

Awarded to David: First rights to the name Scarlett, and the spine to stand up to his wife’s relations.

Awarded to Felicia: The chance to discover whether the world really does explode if there are two girls named Scarlett in the same family.

TEAM RENESMEE

Chantelle is very proud of her new baby boy’s name, because she created it herself – it’s Kyden, which is a combination of her parent’s names, Kylie and Dennis. She is furious when she discovers that Becca from her gym also has a little boy about the same age named Kyden. Becca likewise created her baby name by combining two names – that of her brothers, Kye and Jayden. Chantelle and Becca are each absolutely certain that Kyden is a unique name, and therefore the other woman must have stolen it from them. They are both upset that their son’s name’s specialness has been tarnished.

Awarded to Chantelle and Becca: A copy of Breaking Dawn. That will explain everything. Also, different gym schedules.

TEAM CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS

Alicia is terrified that her older sister Nicole will use all her favourite baby names before she gets a chance to. She throws a massive tantrum, and demands that Nicole sign a contract promising that she will never use Alicia’s favourite names. There are about twenty names on the list, and for some reason, Nicole agrees to this and willingly signs the contract. In due course, Alicia has three children – none of whom are given names from the dreaded “name contract”. Nicole is now rather annoyed, as there were two or three names on the list that she would have liked to use for herself.

Awarded to Alicia and Nicole: I think a time-travelling lawyer is the only thing that can fix this situation.

TEAM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL

Alex and Sam are expecting a baby girl, and have already chosen the name Isabel for her. They have warned their family and friends that they have “reserved” the name in advance, and like a bunch of chumps, said family and friends agree. All goes merrily until a cousin announces that their new baby will be called Elizabeth. Alex and Sam immediately ask them to change it, as it is too close to Isabel. They intend to use the nickname Izzy, and this will clash with a potential Lizzie. Cousin protests they weren’t going to use Lizzie as a nickname, but Alex and Sam are very persuasive. Both gentle, charming people, they have had a difficult time with fertility which evokes much sympathy, and have a way of becoming tearful and pleading that others find difficult to resist. As time goes on, it becomes apparent that Isobel, Isabelle, Izabel, Ysabel, Isabella, Sabella, Isadora, Isabeau, Isolde, Bella, Belle, Ilse, Libby, Sybella, and in fact any name even remotely similar to Isabel is also forbidden.

Awarded to Alex and Sam: Aww, I can’t stay mad at you, with your big puppy dog eyes. Here, have some cake.

Awarded to Friends and Family: A really HUGE baby name book so they can all pick names that sound totally different to Isabel. Sympathies to anyone who marries (or partners) into this circle and wishes to name their daughter after great-grandmother Sybil.

TEAM “GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE”

For several years, Bree-Anne has had the perfect name combination selected for her son – Ryder Lucas. She decides never to share it with anyone so that it cannot be “stolen”, and, now that she’s six months pregnant, remains tight-lipped about the name she has picked out. To her absolute horror, her neighbours, Meikeyla and Dylan, welcome a baby boy named (you guessed it) Ryder. Middle name: Lucas. A distraught Bree-Anne is absolutely convinced that Meikeyla and Dylan, have stolen her baby name, even though she cannot explain how. “They just did!” she insists. To her, it is inconceivable that anyone else could have thought up the name Ryder Lucas, and she now considers her neighbours spies, thieves, and possibly mind-readers.

Awarded to Bree-Anne: A tin foil hat, to prevent anyone else picking up on her brain waves.

Awarded to Meikeyla and Dylan: A real estate guide. They may want to move house.

(In line with the theme of this article, the accompanying image was stolen from Abby Sandel’s Pinterest account – I think it’s originally from PostSecret).

Help, Help, a Girl Stole My Boy Name!, or, How Much Should We Panic About Gender-Bending Names?

10 Sunday Jul 2011

Posted by in Naming Issues

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A few days ago, Abby over at Appellation Mountain ran an excellent article on unisex names, in which she alludes to the strong emotions many people have on this issue. If you hang out on a few name forums, you’ll almost certainly come across people who are violently against gender-swapping names. Of course we all have our likes and dislikes, but for some at least, you do get the impression that they think unisex names are lower-class or a sign of poor education.

To get a local feel for this topic, I scoped out some Australian parenting sites to see how vehement we were on this issue. I’d have to say, not very. Mostly parents seemed to be pretty relaxed about it, and many were positively enthusiastic about the idea of unisex names. There did seem to be a fairly vocal group who tended to admonish parents who were too timid to use a loved name for their son out of fear it might sound “too girly”.

There could be a movement out there determined to stop “unisex names becoming girls names”, and after all, it really is up to parents. Sometimes you hear people say, “Such and such a name used to be a male name, but now girls have stolen it and it’s a female name”. Well, that’s not possible – it’s parents of boys who threw it away by refusing to use a name once it became “tainted” with femininity.

The impression you get from the more hysterical of the anti-unisex brigade is that practically every traditionally male name is being given to girls, the pool of names available to boys is shrinking alarmingly, and there is a dangerous tide of girls-with-boy-names sweeping down upon us, which will bring about some kind of naming cataclysm.

To test this theory, I had a look at the Top 100 names for boys and girls in New South Wales. If it were true, the Top 100 should be filled with girls called Henry and Benjamin, and many names should appear on both the girls and boys lists.

As far as I could tell, this nightmare scenario they envisage does not seem to have occurred. Rather than Henry and Benjamin becoming widely used as female names, the most popular names for girls seemed to be very feminine: Isabella, Chloe, Ruby, Olivia, Lily, Emily. Nor did there seem to be any lack of names for boys. There were even a couple of new names up there, such as Chase and Phoenix, suggesting that parents of boys are not completely lacking in inventiveness, as the “unisex doomsayers” seem to suggest. As some names for boys lose popularity, they can apparently find new ones to replace them.

Although there were ambiguously-gendered names on the girls list, such as Alexis, Scarlett, Madison, Paige, Mackenzie and Piper, these names have never been popular on boys, so can hardly have been said to have been “stolen”. Far from girls stamping out certain boys names, Blake, Darcy, Cameron, Bailey, Riley, Jordan, Dylan, Jayden, Cody and Luca were sitting comfortably on the male Top 100, but nowhere to be seen on the female Top 100. If there had been some sort of “battle” for these names, then the boys had been victorious.

The only name that girls seemed to have “won” is Taylor, which is on the girls list, but not on the boys. Instead, Tyler was the name of choice for boys. If boys being called Tyler instead of Taylor is your idea of Naming Hell, then yes, Armageddon has arrived. Bunker down with a crate of Georges and Adams to protect them from the onslaught, and pray for mercy upon Cooper. If you just see this as a change in fashions, then you can continue taking it easy.

Because that’s what this about: not some evil plan by parents of girls to steal all the boys names until parents of boys have only the choice of three names to call their sons, but changes in naming fashions. Parents of girls are often parents of boys as well, so it really doesn’t make sense that they would try to limit their own choice of boys names.

Some of you may be unconvinced because you can only see names going one way – from the boys to the girls. You may be wondering why boys are not being called Olivia, for example.

Well, I can’t say there’s many boys called Olivia, or girls called William either. These names are right at the top of the popularity charts, and if you want a name that will be seen as definitely male or female, I recommend the Top 10, as these will be most clearly gendered.

However, just as I know a little toddler girl called Billy, I know a baby boy called Olive. These are often the places where gender-swapping takes place – with less popular names, with nicknames, and name variants. You probably won’t see a baby boy called Ruby or Lily, but it’s not impossible you’ll meet one called Diamond or Oleander.

Anti-unisexers often complain that because of “name stealing”, good solid masculine names like Stacey and Jocelyn are no longer used on boys. They never seem to notice that there are very few baby girls called Stacey and Jocelyn any more either. Once names begin to lose popularity for boys, they sometimes get a second chance as girls names, but inevitably they sink again. Most recently, Ashley, which disappeared from the boys Top 100 in 2000, left the girls Top 100 two years ago.

When popular names like Bailey or Jayden are “poached” on behalf of girls, they are usually spelled a different way, such as Baylee or Jaedyn. Although this might bring a new kind of criticism down upon them, you can’t say they are “stealing” the names, as they obviously wish to differentiate their little girl Baylee from all the little boy Baileys. In fact there wasn’t even one name on the charts that was truly unisex – that is, used equally for both sexes.

When I look at babies born recently, I don’t see the flow of names being only one way, or unisex names only being for girls. Just in this blog, we have seen boys called Kalani Jean, Gem, Lux, Tanami, Poe and Ilo. In the past two years, I have seen baby boys called Marley, Jedda, Kaya, Ariel, Shaya, Shai, Sunny, Dee, Rio, Paris, Sky, Harper, Andrea, Sasha, Laney, Easter, Mackenzie, Ainslie, Jayne, Shelby, Suede, Jade, Jess, Brooke, Winter, Silver, Kelly, Everly, Ever, True, and Blu.

I hope that parents are becoming more confident at choosing names that are truly unisex, and more bold in choosing names for boys that have traditionally been seen as “feminine” sounding. At the very least, ideas for boys names don’t seem to be running out just yet.

NOTES
1. You’re probably thinking I have some vested interest in this topic, and you’d be correct. You see, my own name, Anna, happens to be unisex. As you can read on Mer de Nom’s entry, Anna and Erica, there was once an English male name Anna, which came from the Germanic root word for “eagle” and is therefore related to the name Arnold. I suspect it was pronounced AHN-ah rather than ANN-uh. Anyhow, I just wanted to make it clear that Anna for boys had long died out by the 18th century, when the female name Anna was introduced to Britain. We didn’t steal it!

2. I came across a site which purports to predict whether the blog you are reading is written by a man or a woman. I couldn’t resist typing in my own blog, and was given the diagnosis that the blog was very gender-neutral, but there was a 51% chance I was a man. Clearly someone called Anna with a flower as their avatar babbling about babies and celebrity gossip seems slightly blokey to them … I knew I should have gone with a pink background, curly font, and lots of exclamation marks!!!!!!

So there you go, an entry on unisex names written by someone with an androgynous name on a sexually ambiguous blog. This may be the most gender-neutral thing you read all year.

Two Souls with But a Single Thought: Agreeing on Baby Names

05 Sunday Jun 2011

Posted by in Naming Issues

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Two souls with but a single thought

Two hearts that beat as one.

~Friedrich Halm~

It’s a nice and often quoted idea, but the truth is, it can sometimes be quite hard for two souls to have but a single thought. Frankly, it can be a bit of an ask for even one soul to contain a single thought when it comes to baby names.

The most compatible of couples can have differing opinions about the perfect name for their baby, but reach agreement they must. Under Australian law, both parents of a baby have to sign the birth certificate in order to get it registered. (If you are a single mother, you only need to gain the father’s agreement if you have put his name on the birth certificate).

As it is your legal imperative to choose a baby name in unison with your partner, it seems to be my duty to offer guidance on how to reach this happy state of concurrence with the least possible amount of wailing, gnashing of teeth, hair-pulling and shin-kicking.

1: Take your time

You have your entire pregnancy to choose a baby name, and about twenty weeks to choose a gender-specific name, if you have decided to find out the baby’s sex in advance. After the baby is born, you have a generous sixty days to get all your paperwork in and register the birth. If you are still dithering or arguing after the baby is born, take as much time as you need until you are really sure.

2: Do it your way

Every couple has their own way of deciding on baby names. Some couples write their favourite names on separate lists, then swap lists and cross names off they don’t like. Others start reading a baby name book at page 1 and keep reading until they see a name they both like (these tend to end up with a baby name starting with A, I’ve noticed). Others patiently wait for inspiration to strike, and one day they watch an old movie with Spencer Tracey, and there you go, their baby is named Spencer as easy as that. You can download name-selecting software, scan birth notices, ask all your friends and family, hang out on name forums, pick names out of a hat, or pray for divine guidance – it’s completely your choice. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, so go with what works for you.

3: Don’t take it personally

It’s natural to get emotionally attached to your favourite names. When someone says, “Nope, I don’t like that name at all,” it can be confronting or even upsetting. But getting defensive doesn’t help. Remind yourself that they are only rejecting a name, they are not rejecting you.

4: Don’t be rude

Knowing that the other person might get a bit upset if you trash-talk their most beloved baby name ever, try to be sensitive about it. Avoid using judgemental words like “ugly”, “stupid”, “insane”, or “bogan”. Also try to avoid eye-rolling or making vomiting noises.

5: Explain yourself

When you dislike a name your partner suggests, instead of just stating, “I don’t like it”, try to explain why you don’t like it, while remembering to be nice about it eg “I don’t care for the name Spike; I’m not keen on vocabulary names, and I would prefer something softer-sounding and more traditional for our daughter”. Straight away, your partner can begin to identify what names you might like just from that one sentence.

6: Look for similarity

When you disagree on baby names, try to concentrate on where your tastes converge, not where they differ. If he likes Jedidiah and you like Gabriel – great, both of you chose Biblical Hebrew names. She picked Ava but you prefer Hayley – fantastic, both two-syllable names of old movie stars from the Top 50 with an AY sound in them. If one of you wants Nyssa and the other Peri … well you both like cutesy unusual names. And you’re Dr Who nerds. Start from the point where you want the same thing.

7: Accept vetoes

If your partner hates nature names, throw Ocean off your list. And if they have a horror of any name on the Top 100, forget about Charlotte or William. The funny thing is, if you just accept someone’s veto, they are more likely to change their mind later on than if you argued with them. The person who hates nature names may give the thumbs up to Hazel, casually explaining that they don’t count plant or flower names as “nature” names. And the person who swore up and down that the Top 100 was off-limits may suddenly decide that Declan isn’t too popular after all.

8: Take a break

When couples spend ALL their time discussing baby names, reading baby name books and revising their baby name list, they can easily get burnt out. After a while, names start to blur into each other, and you can no longer tell the difference between Daniel, Dean and Damien; nor do you know or care whether Pax is male, female, or unisex. It’s easy to start getting cranky at this point, and this is when arguments are most likely to happen. So just stop for a while. Put the books away and concentrate on other things.

9: Be prepared to compromise

If you can’t reach agreement easily, you may need to compromise. There are so many ways to do this that it could it be an article all on its own. Maybe one picks the first name, and the other the second name. Maybe you combine your two favourite names into a third name. Maybe mum picks the name of the first child, and dad picks the second. The important thing is that it really is a compromise, and not just one person agreeing with the other because they’re worn out. Make sure you’re clear about what you definitely want before you begin compromising.

10: If all else fails

If you are absolutely deadlocked and neither of you will agree to compromise … well that doesn’t bode well for the rest of your relationship, does it? But as far as baby names go, there is a solution to your dilemma. According to the law, if a couple are unable to agree on a name for their baby, the Registrar-General will choose the name for them so that the baby can be registered. So there you go – worst case scenario, the Registrar-General will select a name if neither of you clowns can manage it. More good news: I asked at a birth registry to explain how a Registrar-General might go about choosing a baby name for someone, and I was told that they didn’t know of a case where it had ever happened. So all the other parents must have managed to find a name for their baby in time, and that means chances are, you will too.

Acknowledgements: Thank you to Sandra Salcedo from the ACT Government Office of Regulatory Services for her help in sending me the relevant legal information.

You Can’t Call It That: What the Law Says About Naming Your Baby

20 Sunday Feb 2011

Posted by in Naming Issues

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Every once in a while you meet someone with a name where you think, “Surely that name shouldn’t have been allowed.” And quite often the newspapers will publish names that have been denied by the registrar that seem relatively inoffensive. Recently, I wondered what exactly the law says on what names you can and cannot name your baby.

As the nation’s capital and the place where most laws are passed, I decided to start in Canberra at the Australian Capital Territory Registrar-General’s Office’s website. By clicking on a likely link, it took me to the Office of Regulatory Services in the Department of Justice and Community Safety, which handles the registration of births, deaths and marriages as well as other important things, such as parking and rental bonds.

I rang the number on the Contact page, in the naïve hope that the laws on baby names might be printed out for public use – perhaps in a little pamphlet called Beware Parents: Names Forbidden by the Government, or more playfully, Naughty, Naughty Names You Needn’t Think of Using. In my hopeful imagination, this little pamphlet could then be posted to me at the taxpayer’s expense.

No such luck. First there was an amusing problem getting hold of them as my phone system automatically cuts me off if I’m left on hold for more than 40 seconds, and then once I managed to speak to someone, they very kindly pointed me to the website which has all the legislation on it for me to look it up for myself.

Now I must say that the laws are written in a very simple, clear, comprehensible way that anyone of average intelligence with a high school education should be able to follow. The trouble is, I am obviously a moron because I could NOT find the section where it tells you which names are prohibited.

I rang the Births, Deaths and Marriages Office again, and an extremely helpful lady talked me through it and then patiently directed me to the exact part of the legislation where a prohibited name is defined. Amazingly, it was exactly where I had been told it would be. I still don’t understand why it has to be at the end in a glossary – why can’t it have its own heading in the law?

As I read through the list of six things you can’t call your baby, I couldn’t help but be struck by part e) or is, in the registrar-general’s opinion, undesirable. It seemed awfully, well, subjective.

“But doesn’t that mean the registrar-general could ban any name? I mean, what if he didn’t like the name Mary because all the people he knew called Mary were horrible?” I asked my patient helper.

However, it turned out that although a register-general COULD do that, they probably wouldn’t, as they have to back it up with some pretty substantial evidence in the court of appeal. I presume if a registrar-general kept losing cases in the court of appeal it wouldn’t look very good, so they use their apparently limitless powers in a judicious manner.

I asked hopefully if all the states had the same naming laws, but to my disappointment was told that, no, they tended to differ slightly, and I’d have to look up each state and territory one by one. I said goodbye to the Births, Deaths and Marriages staff member, no doubt to her immense relief.

And so it was off to New South Wales Births, Deaths and Marriages, where I discovered that my phone system also cuts me off if I’m left talking to an automated phone message for more than 40 seconds.

Eventually I was put through to a charming girl called, I believe, Mikayla. Mikayla also helped me navigate the complexities of the NSW legislation page, and when the necessary Act refused to appear when I hit “search” gave me the obvious advice, which was to Google it. Of course! Why hadn’t I though of that? Because I’m a dullard who needs everything explained patiently and slowly, it would seem. Even when I Googled, and got to the right document, I could NOT find the place where it defines a prohibited name. Mikayla found it for me, and I still have no idea how she did it. Clearly our tax dollars are being well spent.

The NSW only had four things you couldn’t call your baby; two less than the ACT. But once again (d) is contrary to the public interest for some other reason seemed almost wilfully vague. Asking Mikayla for some more guidance on this issue, I asked her what kinds of names might be banned under point d). “For example, what if you wanted to call your baby … um, Watermelon?” I asked, plucking a hypothetical name out of the air.

In Mikayla’s opinion, Watermelon could very well end up being reviewed. “That’s a pretty degrading name to give a child,” she said disapprovingly. This surprised me – Watermelon didn’t seem that crazy; since Gwyneth Paltrow called her daughter Apple, I figured that fruit names are now acceptable. Maybe not. Personally I thought that Watermelon’s parents might have a case if it went to appeal, but Mikayla was quick to add that she wasn’t a lawyer (and therefore her personal opinions should not be taken as legal statements). Feeling immensely pleased that we live in a society where government workers are free to give their personal opinions, I said farewell to anti-Watermelon Mikayla.

And next time you talk to a government employee on the phone and they’re a wee bit tetchy with you – remember that they may have just spent the last half hour talking to an idiotic nuisance like me.

Rather than frazzle any more of them, I just went to each state and territory’s legislation website, since I knew what I was looking for now. Each state and territory had the same basic standards, but some did seem to be slightly stricter – the ACT and Queensland appeared to have the most amount of rules on what names must be avoided. And here they are:

ALL STATES

* Names which are an obscene or offensive word

* Names which are impractical to use because they are too long (I don’t know what defines “too long”, but I presume it means it doesn’t fit into the number of boxes on government forms)

* Names which are impractical to use because they contain characters with no phonetic significance eg J @ yne, Jasm!ne, J00lia, J*nn*f*r or Je$$ica

* Names which are impractical to use for some other reason (in NSW, a blank space, a Medicare number and the number 7 have all been denied; in one case the name X was knocked back, but A and B have been allowed in WA)

* Names which include or resemble an official rank or title eg Lord, Lady, Princess, Queen, Sir, Doctor (However, a NSW couple successfully won the right to call their son Duke in 2009, so in some cases these might win on appeal)

* Names which are contrary to the public interest for some other reason

The last one leaves a margin for interpretation. In NSW, the names Jesus Christ and Ned Kelly have been rejected as inappropriate, yet the names God Bless and Fully Hektic Sik have been deemed officially acceptable (God Bless? Really? I mean the child’s first name is actually God ….) In New Zealand, parents have been unsuccessful in their attempts to call their children Adolf Hitler and Satan. No word on whether it’s happened here, but WA registrar Alan Andersson has said that Adolf Hitler and Satan would definitely be on the naughty list here as well. I’m now thinking Watermelon would almost certainly get through. Surely it’s better than Fully Hektik Sik.

QUEENSLAND

The first and middle names cannot form a sentence or a statement. The examples that the legislation gives are Save Mother Earth or Down With Capitalism, but would also cover Chocolate Is Yummy and that other New Zealand reject, Tallulah Does The Hula In Hawaii. However, these names could be banned in other states under the vague reason of “contrary to the public interest”.

ACT

* The name cannot sound similar to the name of a body or organisation. So no Redd Kross or Salvation-Armi, I presume.

* The part about “contrary to the public interest” is replaced with “in the registrar-general’s opinion, undesirable”. I don’t know whether this makes any difference, nor do I know whether this means the ACT is more conservative or more liberal in its views.

There you have it – that’s what the law says about choosing a name for your child. By the way, if you are thinking to yourself, “But my great-grandmother’s name was Princess,” or “My neighbour’s parents were hippies, and his name is Dolphins Are People Too,” the legislation was only introduced in the 1990s.

So if you’re worried that the name you’ve chosen may be “too weird” – relax. Because if it gets through the birth registration process, and they rubber stamp it, it’s officially not too weird.

And when you meet a child or teenager and you think the name their parents chose is “too weird” – remember that their name has already been scrutinised under the law, and if they were allowed to register it, then by the standards of our nation, their name has already been judged to be “not too weird”. Yes, even A, B, God and Fully Hektic Sik.

Acknowledgements: Thank you to the Registries of Births, Deaths and Marriages in the ACT and NSW for their valuable assistance. Information on names which have been rejected and accepted in certain states comes from articles in The Sunday Telegraph and Perth Now. The couple who successfully appealed to call their son Duke were featured on Channel 7’s “Today Tonight”.