Tag Archives: Google Maps

Strange Searches and Intriguing Inquries: The Weird Ways People Wind Up On My Blog

23 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by in Your Questions Answered

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It’s time for another silly season look at the odd, thought-provoking, and just plain barmy search terms used to get to the blog. Some are autocorrections gone wrong, others are typos or the vagaries of Google Translate, but there seem to be some genuinely confused people wandering around the Internet. I’ve tidied searches up with some basic punctuation for easier reading, and corrected spelling errors unless they provided some amusement.

AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE

Is Australia a country?
Yes. So glad that’s cleared up.

W.A. is the best f*** the rest Australia Australia map
If you put this into Google Maps (with the asterisks filled out in full), it suggests you see a therapist. At least it did for me.

Bongs Baby Search
Contest winners: Bud and Mary-Jane.

Jewish roots of Australian Aboriginal tribes
The lost tribes of Israel didn’t get that lost.

Australian Aborigines are the true Indians from India [searched for many times]
That’s going to make the land rights issue a whole lot more complicated.

Did Abel Tasman change his name to Tasman because he discovered Tasmania?
Yes, then Captain Cook changed his name to Cook after discovering the Cook Islands.

Did Abel Tasman have a daughter named Tasmania/Did Abel Tasman name Tasmania after his daughter? [searched for many times]
No, Tasmania Tasman sounds really awkward.

Why do Australians add the word “did” after a girl’s name, as in Katie-did?
We do what now?

FAMOUS FOLK

Prince William’s baby should be called Prince Alfred Edmund William [several months after Prince George’s birth]
It’s probably time to let go. Maybe they’ll listen to you next time.

What is Hank Marvin’s home address?
Stalker.

How is Wendy Harmer married?
Um … legally?

Pictures of Liz Ellis and her son Evelyn Audrey
I can understand thinking Evelyn might be a boy – but Evelyn Audrey?

Was the actress Grace Kelly related to the bushranger Ned Kelly?
I would guess, not closely.

Was Banjo Paterson a Templar?
No, a solicitor and tax reformist, which sounds slightly less exciting.

My civil partner’s name is Rupert Grint and mine is Danny Driscoll – what surname do we use?
I’m more interested to discover the actor Rupert Grint is in a civil partnership with a fictional gangster from Only Fools and Horses. The mind is boggling.

Was Liberace gay?
Yes, and to anticipate your next question, bears go to the lavatory in the woods.

NAME-O-RAMA

I regret naming my son Hamish, and call him James instead
I’m not kidding, somebody Googles a variant of this question about sixty times a week. Either there’s a whole bunch of Hamishes called James, or someone needs to get a new hobby.

Tomboy baby names like Rose, Lily, Daisy, Violet
Flipping heck, those are tomboy names?

Common names in rare use
That’s the Holy Grail of baby naming right there.

The truth about calling your son Ryder
The truth is, his name will be Ryder.

Do people look at your kid’s names funny?
No – but now we’re all interested to know what yours are called.

How to convince girls named Naomi to go out with you
I think it’s basically the same method as for girls with other names.

“Worst name ever” – Ian
Forget Hitler, Satan, or Laxative, Ian is the worst baby name in history!

Is Mary and Matilda the same name in Sweden?
No, and in no other country either.

Oliver cannot marry Olivia
Why ever not?

HORRID HISTORY

The origin of death
Someone died, and it caught on.

Medieval newspaper article of the battle of Hastings
They don’t seem to have produced one – just a tapestry. Slack!

What was the dress code for Arabs and Hebrews during the Biblical era?
Smart casual.

Why are English monarchs ugly?
Gosh, that’s jolly rude.

LOOPY LITERATURE

Children’s book with hippo eating more humans than sharks
Should be required bedtime reading for every four-year-old.

Romeo, Dan, Juliet
The little known Shakespearean love triangle.

Some good frictionless stories of Shakespeare
Because nobody wants stories that give you chafing.

Was Frankenstein’s wife’s name unisex?
Only if you consider Elizabeth a unisex name.

The poetry of Ben Jo Peterson
He just never had the fame of Banjo Paterson.

STRANGE SCIENCE

Blonde women love autumn
So brunetttes must love spring, redheads love winter, and bald people love summer.

600 year old dead body gave birth to baby, and the baby stayed alive about 72 hours
Eww. I’m pretty sure this didn’t happen.

Miserable heavenly body discovered
The science news we never hear about.

Budgies sound like they’re talking Welsh
Ours just make chirpy noises.

Cicadas are all homosexual
I think the cicada population would be a lot lower by now if that was true.

SPIRITUAL STUMPERS

What are some signs the American occult have used musicians and football players?
Minimal, if any.

99% accurate psychic – free
Even ones that are 38% accurate aren’t free.

Mythical Christmas sweater for Catholic children made by their mother
My mother never made me one, probably because it was 110 in the shade at Christmas.

“The holy Christmas dwarf”
The Yuletide yarn we never hear about.

I sense souls who are licensed to answer
This sounds a bit like a movie I saw.

Can a baby be born with 2 souls?
That’s very deep, which is another way of saying I have no idea.

INFORMATION, PLEASE

Baby Ruby, Adelaide. Cash only.
I hope you’ve been arrested by now.

Velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on
The art news we never hear about.

Where can I buy German animated Easter cards which are baby announcements?
There’s clearly a market for German-speakers who happen to have their baby at Easter, and want to announce that fact in animated greeting card form. Please consider developing this exciting business concept.

How to announce baby’s birth in Australia slang?
Strewth cobbers, we’ve dropped a sprog, so it’s my shout.

Need a Victorian style cursed wedding dress
Wanting to get your marriage off on the right foot, huh?

Groan grunt growl grumpy grumble exercises
Yep that’s how I sound when I exercise.

Old English movie in which a magical necklace converts heroin
What does the necklace convert the heroin into – tea and scones?

What is the movie name where the woman had a daughter and she got married and she died of cancer after giving birth to a little boy?
One of the classic chick flick plots. The other two are: Boy and girl fall in love then one dies of cancer, and Female friends discover cancer is a catalyst for bonding, empowerment.

SEX SELLS

Intercourse while waltzing
That never happened in any of my dance classes. I feel ripped off.

Lucy is a stripper at Players on the Gold Coast. What’s her real name?
If Lucy is her stripper name, I’m guessing her real name is Destinee Bunny-Starr.

How can I find strippers ‘n’ escorts in Emerald area, Qld?
Yellow Pages.

Australian girls named Lola – they have sexy hips, Facebook page?
I don’t think either can be guaranteed.

WHAT ARE THEY ON ABOUT?

Any Madison eating girls? Far angry sex with boy.

Quick Siobhan, your knickers, your mother is coming

What means: Australian bond named Dingo?

Aboriginal name meaning “aupprice shock”

List agent Greek names that is not used in space, less than 16 characters

Famous Names: Sandy and Sable

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by in Famous Names

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A group of Australian scientists from the University of Sydney have undiscovered an island that was supposed to be in between Australia and New Caledonia.

Sandy Island showed up on Google Earth and Google Maps, as well as marine and scientific maps all over the world, including the US National Geophysical Data Center. According to the maps, Sandy Island was about 16 miles long and 3 miles wide – just slightly bigger than Manhattan.

Geologists on the Southern Surveyor, an Australian maritime research vessel, were puzzled by the island which appeared on their weather maps, yet navigation charts showed that the water in that area was very deep – 1400 metres (4620 feet). They decided that they had to go check it out, and found nothing there except sea. The scientists recorded the information so that maps can be changed.

According to the Wikipedia article on Sandy Island, the island was erased from Google Maps on November 26, but although the name Sandy Island doesn’t show up in the search bar, when I looked in the Coral Sea I found the phantom island quite easily, but there was no name attached to it.

If I zoomed in on the island, it simply disappeared, and if I switched to satellite, the island showed up as a black streak surrounded by blue streaks, looking remarkably like someone had scribbled on it with two different felt-tip pens.

Interestingly, if Sandy Island had existed, it would have been in French territorial waters – and the island is not on any recent French government charts. Perhaps because of this, the Times Atlas of the World deleted Sandy Island from its maps after 1999.

The history of the discovery of Australia involved – indeed, was dependent on – faulty maps, necessitating voyages to check out what was here or not, so it makes a strange sort of sense that now Australians must voyage forth to check faulty maps for themselves.

The episode shows that this part of the world is still not well known, and incompletely charted. It’s not quite a matter of Here be dragons, but the reply from most of the map-providers when the error was pointed out was along the lines of, Well it is in the middle of nowhere …

Tens of thousands of years of human occupation, and centuries since the first mapping, and we’re still close to the middle of nowhere. Which is rather exciting – what else in our region is still waiting to be discovered, or undiscovered?

Apart from the Pythonesque nuttiness of this story (no wonder the geologists got the giggles as they sailed through the invisible island), the thing that got my attention was the name Sandy, which has been in the news internationally since Hurricane Sandy hit the north-east coast of the United States in late October, after devastating the Caribbean.

According to this article in The New York Times, names of hurricanes can help to influence the way we name our babies. It’s not as simple as everyone suddenly choosing Sandy as a baby name, but it seems that once we hear a word or a name many times, we instinctively like names that sound similar to it. So experts are expecting a spike in the numbers of babies of 2012 whose names begin with an S, as well as those with an and sound in them, and ones that end in -ee.

There was a story in the Australian press, about an expat couple in New York, whose baby arrived at the height of Sandy’s fury. The parents did consider calling their new daughter Sandy, but in the end chose Sophie. The analysts would be rubbing their hands, because they chose a two-syllable name that starts with S and ends with an -ee sound, just like Sandy.

Sandy is a unisex name which is short for Alexander or Alexandra, but also for any name related to them, such as Alistair, Sander, Alessandra, Sanette, Sandrine, or Sandra. You could use it as a short form of Cassandra, Santos, Sanford, Sandon, Santiago or any similar name. Sandy is a traditional pet name for people with reddish or sandy-blonde hair, and you could see it as a vocabulary, colour, and nature name meaning “sand-coloured, like sand, covered in sand”.

However, another possibility occurred to me while reading about The Case of the Non-Existent Island. On a French chart from 1875, the island is called Île de Sables, which is French for Sandy Island. Because of this, The Times Atlas of the World partly Anglicised the name back again to Sable Island.

While in French, sable means “sand”, the same word in English means something quite different. (I feel that I must be channelling Lou from Mer de Noms, who quite often finds name inspiration in French words). I should point out that the two words are said differently: in French, SAH-bluh; in English, SAY-buhl.

A sable is a species of marten (a relative of minks, weasels and ferrets) which is found mostly in Eurasia and still hunted in Russia. The pelt of the animal has been highly valued since medieval times, because the fur of the sable feels soft whichever way you stroke you; it’s not possible to “go against the grain”.

Because of the animal’s colour, the word sable is also a literary way to say “black”, such as when John Milton refers to “a sable cloud” in Paradise Lost. It amuses me that sandy and sable are opposites as colours, with one signifying a pale shade and the other one that is very dark.

Sable can also be used as a personal name, with the first one I can find in the records dating to the 17th century. It’s used for both boys and girls, although from the beginning more often a female name – maybe because it seems like it could be short for names such as Isabel or Sabella.

Sable is more common in the United States, where it has sometimes been used amongst African-Americans as a positive and beautiful word to denote darkness (similar to the name Ebony, which doesn’t have that connotation here).

In Australia, it appears rarely in the records, nearly always as a female name. One of my favourite combinations for this name was Brightie Sable. It also belonged to a 1900s French immigrant to Australia, who had the French form – Sablé.

So if you feel subconsciously influenced to use a name similar to Sandy, or would like to be part of a name trend, then Sable or Sablé seem like possibilities to choose from, and may please trend analysts immensely.

(Satellite image from Google Maps)